This is it, guys. This is the culmination of it. This is the apotheosis of the asshole dude we all know at the party, sitting there sure that if all the imaginary undeserving dicks in his head just disappeared he’d be king of the fucking mountain. This is the entire GOP argument of the past 40 years, that the reason we are always vaguely and sometimes explicitly screwed up as a country is that somebody out there is getting what you deserve and even though you don’t know who that is, hey, you should be really fucking pissed off!
(And by the way, if you don’t know who that is, we’ll gladly tell you. I think today it’s the gays again, but it might be welfare queens. Nobody called from Asshole HQ with the lottery numbers yet.)
And from that argument — DO YOU WANT YOUR TAX DOLLARS SUPPORTING SOMEBODY WHO PICKS HIS NOSE? WHO HAS FOUR HUNDRED BABIES? WHO’S TOO LAZY TO PAY THE MORTGAGE? WHO COULD BUY FRUIT FOR HIS KIDS BUT FEEDS THEM GROUND UP GLASS INSTEAD? WELL? DO YOU? — issues every other one, about government spending and pork (otherwise known as infrastructure projects in towns not your own but paid for with money you could otherwise use to become king) and contraception/family planning (otherwise known as fixing mistakes made by dishonest slutty girls not your daughters withmoney you could otherwise use to become king) and wars of choice (fought against people who don’t look like us and therefore want to take our shit and actually, this time wecould have used that money to become king, because it cost just that much, so DAMMIT) but this is it:
You are worthy. Everybody else is getting away with it. Everybody else is just some lazy asshole who’s scamming people dumb enough to work for it. Everybody else is your enemy, and I feel for these people, honestly, because it’s got to be so exhausting living constantly under siege like this, but my sympathy stops at the vague desire they’d get some therapy. I don’t intend to reward their pathetic horseshit with legislation, come on.
What’s truly interesting to me, as this morning’s poll numbers indicated, was that this argument, so stunningly effective for decades now, has suddenly stopped working. People don’t believe they’re the only worthy ones any more. People don’t believe the mortgage crisis was caused by poor people buying houses or by ACORN. People don’t believe our economy will get better if we just deport all the Mexicans everywhere, even the ones in Mexico. They aren’t buying this shit anymore, and while I’d like to put it down to the fact that we’re finally coming around to a more realistic and compassionate view of the world, I think what’s actually happening is that enough of us are fucked enough that the lies don’t hold up the way they used to. EVERYBODY knows at least ten people who are monumentally hosed right now, EVERYBODY. You can’t say, “That isn’t happening where I live.”
I mean, c’mon, even Peggy Noonan caught which way the wind was blowing when the Talbot’s closed.