‘Come for the Culture War … Stay for the Chicks’

No, REALLY:

The primary reason our womenfolk are at war with the looming
spectre of the nanny state is because you can’t buy Jimmy Choos in a
socialist paradise.

The only sensible footwear you’ll find in a right-wing woman’s
closet are the Nike cross-trainers that go with her gym membership.

Everything else has a three-inch heel. Minimum.

Left-wing drabs recycle. Right-wing women shop — and the
government measures how much they shop every month to find out whether
we’re still in a recession. Basically, the world economy depends on
right-wing women buying shoes.

You never hear a right-wing woman break out statistics
pointing out that only 25% of elected offices in Canada are held by
women, and then whining about it.

No. A right-wing woman wants to get elected, she runs for office.

If she wins, great. If she loses … well, there’s always more shoe shopping.

It’s like Carrie Bradshaw and Cal Thomas had a stupid, stupid baby.

ViaInstaputz.

A.

9 thoughts on “‘Come for the Culture War … Stay for the Chicks’

  1. Michael says:

    There’s so much to work with here, it’s like shooting fish in a barrel.
    This is not a target worthy of your time or attention. Let’s just move on.

  2. Damn,
    They have never met my friend E, a lefty liberal feminist, so well-known to the salespeople at Jimmy Choos that they, I am not making this up, open champagne when she walks into the store. I’ve been there and seen it.

  3. soullite says:

    Well, in all fairness, right wing women really are that shallow. They are, after-all, right wingers. When was the last time you met a right-winger that wasn’t a shallow asshole more concerned with money and things than actual people?
    It happens, but it is rare.

  4. pansypoo says:

    let them have their cruel shoes.

  5. Adrastos says:

    Best. Post. Title. Ever.

  6. Catherine F. says:

    Has he missed the wingnut ladies in the denim jumpers?

  7. Interrobang says:

    Almost all the right-wing women of the type he describes are wealthy, so they wouldn’t be caught dead in denim jumpers. The poor rural ones who are right-wing because the only people left in rural Canada at this point are the ones whose parents were too stupid to leave don’t exist in his world.

  8. Sandman says:

    I shit more intelligent columns that Cal Thomas writes.

  9. Batocchio says:

    I love the Bradshaw line. This really is recycled Palin-fawning, isn’t it? ‘Our women are prettier than yours, and defer to men’? Plus there’s the usual bashing on tofu , etc. in his fantasty pitch of a “right-wing hottie” happily cooking steroid-laced steak for her manly man. (I’m guessing, though, when she’s in the kitchen, she’s not wearing her Jimmy Choos, she’s barefoot.) It’s painful when movement conservatives attempt humor, let alone wit.

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