‘The Bitter Politics of Envy’

Yes, Mitt. We’re jealous of you:

This country already has a leader who divides us with the bitter politics of envy. We must offer an alternative vision. I stand ready to lead us down a different path, where we are lifted up by our desire to succeed, not dragged down by a resentment of success. In these difficult times, we cannot abandon the core values that define us as unique — We are One Nation, Under God.

Wanting bankers to be subject to the law like the rest of us is positively ungodly, y’all. As well as resentful. If we truly loved God and America, we would let rich people have all the tax breaks they want.

President Obama wants to “fundamentally transform” America. We want to restore America to the founding principles that made this country great.

An agrarian slave economy in every pot!

He wants to turn America into a European-style entitlement society. We want to ensure that we remain a free and prosperous land of opportunity.

Never forget that the the French are gay, and this is the land of titties.

Internationally, President Obama has adopted an appeasement strategy. He believes America’s role as leader in the world is a thing of the past. I believe a strong America must – and will – lead the future.

I WILL FISH OSAMA OUT OF THE OCEAN AND KILL HIM AGAIN. AND DO IT RIGHT THIS TIME.

He apologizes for America; I will never apologize for the greatest nation in the history of the Earth.

Marcus Aurelius called. He says he left his tunic at your mom’s and could you get it back for him? Also he wants his change.

If this election is a bidding war for who can promise more benefits, then I’m not your President.

MY POLICIES WILL BENEFIT NO ONE.

I don’t know which Palin wrote this shit, but Romney needs to fire him.

I want you to remember when our White House reflected the best of who we are, not the worst of what Europe has become.

Mimes. And ass sex. MIMES HAVING ASS SEX. In cafés.

This election, let’s fight for the America we love. We believe in America.

I’ve been having a hard time getting amped up about a Romney campaign (much like most of the Republican electorate) but that did the trick. I’ve managed to avoid actually watching him speak until last night and now I see why nobody likes him: He’s like Bush without the charisma and emotion. Bush always had that nasty edge underneath his words, the high school bully about to take your lunch money. Romney delivered the above with all the oomph of a quarterly earnings report.

Which is remarkable, given how hateful a speech it is. We don’t want to give endless tax cuts to millionaires because OMG JUST JEALOUS? Really?

A.

18 thoughts on “‘The Bitter Politics of Envy’

  1. virgotex says:

    This manifest destiny crap – in the face of a global economy, history, and well… reality- it’s like the whole fundamentalist Christian belief thing. Even though non-Christians and (non-fundamentalists)understand and operate on the premise while religious beliefs should be afforded respect, they aren’t FACT, nor or they just or fair, and they shouldn’t be dictated on the rest of the world. But that dictating of their beliefs, that “witnessing” and missionarry-ing is a core part of the fundies deal, in the face of law, reality, history etc.
    Same with American Manifest Destiny. It’s not our fucking job to rule the world. It’s getting kind of embarrassing y’all. The rest of the world is more or less humoring us over here. We are not the greatest nation in the history of Earth, we aren’t even the greatest nation in the FUTURE of Earth. There’s no shame in that, America.

  2. left rev.; proud cheesehead says:

    You write like chocolate caramel swirl cheescake feels on the back of the tongue.
    *lights another candle at the alter of Athenae*

  3. Athenae says:

    We are not the greatest nation in the history of Earth, we aren’t even the greatest nation in the FUTURE of Earth.
    For serious, what is so wrong with aiming for okay? Right now I feel like “okay” is a tall order, for us, and we should get to “okay” and then aim higher. We have a long way back to crawl.
    A.

  4. Jude says:

    “Marcus Aurelius called. He left his tunic at your mom’s”
    Holy shit that’s awesome.

  5. mothra says:

    Mimes having ass sex. That’s exactly what’s wrong with Europe. Seriously, Mitt? Pulling out the old “we hate Europe because they’re smart and all their citizens live well” bullshit? Talk about your envy. Plus, I guess Mitt hasn’t really paid much attention to what the European governments are doing lately.

  6. Jay in Oregon says:

    And there’s that inherent contradiction again:
    “America is the greatest nation in the history of the world, for all time! And we must turn away from the path it’s set on and make it great again!” o_O

  7. MapleStreet says:

    Ditto to Virgo and Manifest Destiny. History teaches us that manifest destiny can last for a couple of hundred years – tops.
    RE: Bankers being subject to the same rules as the rest of us. Which came closer to destroying the USA Economy. Bin Laden and the WTC or the bank collapse playing Vegas games with our money?

  8. Jude says:

    Seriously–what is “the worst of what Europe has become,” anyway? I know that cocksucker’s not talking about the bullshit austerity. He’s all for that. Could someone bring up the fact that he no doubt has taken many vacations there? Or that, you know, everybody can go to a doctor without facing penury? Or that they don’t waste a shit ton of money locking up a permanent underclass for no good reason?
    Christ, what an asshole.

  9. pansypoo says:

    how can we be the greatest if we are falling BEHIND europe on quality of life?

  10. Jude says:

    I will sacrifice myself to all the gods at once if someone could carve MIMES HAVING ASS SEX on Romney’s tombstone.

  11. Elspeth Ravenwind says:

    “the bitter politics of envy” – sounds like some white, elite teens decided to form an Emo-type band in their parents’ detached garage at the back of their gated, golf-course community – that is, after returning from their very cush ‘mission’ to France.
    Hey Mitt – shut up and go back to the country club and stiff your caddy. Leave America out of it.

  12. joejoejoe says:

    Romney is right. Europe is totally fucked up.
    Life expectancy
    Spain – 80.9 years
    Italy – 80.5 years
    Greece – 79.5 years
    Ireland – 78.9 years
    U.S. – 78.3 years
    They live (and live and live and live) like pigs over there.

  13. chuckchuck says:

    Ms. A hits a homer! Brilliant! Best post of the day!

  14. Marcus Aurelius called. He says he left his tunic at your mom’s and could you get it back for him? Also he wants his change.
    Genghis Khan called. He says don’t bother, everybody’s mom has moved to his place, if you give him more stuff and another country to keep it in you won’t have to take her back.

  15. thebewilderness says:

    I think once he figured out that hardly anyone likes him that his only chance would be to run against anyone and everyone he thinks Republicans like even less than him. Poor people, black people, and Yurp. I think he is mistaken.

  16. Breny says:

    We are not the greatest nation in the history of Earth, we aren’t even the greatest nation in the FUTURE of Earth.
    What chaps my ass are the people (not Mitt, in this case) that say we’re the greatest country in the WORLD and they’ve never been to another country! Some of them have never left their fucking state.

  17. Elspeth Ravenwind says:

    Breny, would be fun to see if there’s a yearly Global Xenophobe Convention… ;)

  18. centerfielddj says:

    A., glad you joined us in hating on Romney. I despise his rhetoric, all the more because he only has about twenty lines, lines he repeats overandoverandoverandoverandover…envy, Europe, appeasement…Fuck, particularly the claim that Obama is the one who is dividing the country, all while he declares that anybody who disagrees with him is not just wrong, but un-American! Alien. ILLEGITIMATE.
    The movement Romney represents is dangerous and must be stopped, one small victory to the next.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 3,638 other followers

%d bloggers like this: