PBJ: Get Smart?

The GOP post-mortems are coming fast and furious. This unintentionally funny
one comes from my rabidly ambitious erstwhile Governor,
Bobby Jindal:

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal on Monday called on Republicans to “stop being
the stupid party” and make a concerted effort to reach a broader swath of
voters with an inclusive economic message that pre-empts efforts to caricature
the GOP as the party of the rich.

In his first interview since his party’s electoral thumping last week, Jindal urged
Republicans to both reject anti-intellectualism and embrace a populist-tinged
reform approach that he said would mitigate what exit polls show was one of
President Barack Obama’s most effective lines of attack against Mitt Romney.

“We’ve
got to make sure that we are not the party of big business, big banks, big Wall
Street bailouts, big corporate loopholes, big anything,” Jindal told POLITICO
in a 45-minute telephone interview. “We cannot be, we must not be, the party
that simply protects the rich so they get to keep their toys.”

This
is,uh, rich coming from PBJ who as Governor has waged war on public
education, and is so taxophobic that he wouldn’t originally sign off on keeping
tobacco taxes high enough to discourage smoking. In fact, his entire political
philosophy-if you want to call it that-boils down to this: Taxes bad;
creationism good; Jindal awesome.

On the
rare occasions he was in Baton Rouge in 2012, PBJ ran roughshod over the LSU
Board of Supervisors, fired recalcitrant system President John Lombardi and
voucherized primary and secondary public education. It’s what happens when you
have a Governor who spent his school days strictly in private schools. When it
comes to education, PBJ is Shiva the destroyer or perhaps even Kalki.

The mere
fact that this cut-rate version of Willard the weathervane feels free to depart
from *some* teawad dogma means that some changes will actually be coming to the
Republican
message but not its substance.

Jindal is
clearly positioning himself for 2016 and he fits the GOP model for the perfect
minority candidate. The party that froths at the mouth over affirmative action,
practices it when it comes to candidates. True tokenism is the rule of the
party: PBJ is way to the right but he has dark skin, ergo the GOP is
enlightened, not racist. Whatever, dude.

The pol
Jindal most reminds me of is-get ready-Willard Mittbot Romney. He’s robotic,
awkward and dull, dull, dull. Willard is at least good-looking whereas PBJ is
the guy who could turn the nasty party into the ugly party.

Jindal
has relentlessly pandered to the religious right and *that* part of his
message will not change. While he criticizes the Akins and Mourdocks of his
party, it’s more about their verbal table manners than anything else:

“It is no secret we had a number of Republicans damage our
brand this year with offensive, bizarre comments — enough of that,” Jindal
said. “It’s not going to be the last time anyone says something stupid within
our party, but it can’t be tolerated within our party. We’ve also had enough of
this dumbed-down conservatism. We need to stop being simplistic, we need to
trust the intelligence of the American people and we need to stop insulting the
intelligence of the voters.”

Again, this is fascinating coming from a man who talks down to his state’s
electorate. PBJ tends to speak at the 4th or 5th grade
level when addressing the people of the Gret Stet. Hence, the comparisons to
Kenneth the page from 30 Rock.
Kenneth has subsequently been demoted to janitor, it’s a pity that the same
won’t happen to PBJ…

There is
also no way in hell that PBJ will abandon his party’s insanely retrograde
positions on social issues. I think their (wide?) stances on gay rights,
women’s issues and tattoos and piercings are dragging them down with younger
voters. I made the bit up about tattoos and piercings but PBJ would pierce his
pencil dick if he thought it would get him elected without alienating his
confederate base.

The
coming war within the GOP should be most amusing. I’m going to sit back, pour
myself a beverage and enjoy watching the freak show.

13 thoughts on “PBJ: Get Smart?

  1. Ricardo says:

    And the Baton Rouge Advocate gives him cover http://theadvocate.com/home/4427396-125/jindal-gop-needs-revamp by not linking the Politico article and never quotes his- “Republicans have to stop being the party of stupid”. The Advocate sucks.

  2. adrastos says:

    Total tools of Jindalism, that is, if such a thing exists.

  3. Lex says:

    Uh, Bobby, if you have any political aspirations remaining, son, you really need to Google yourself. Fast.

  4. Aaaargh says:

    You can see the 2016 campaign strategy taking shape here. The Republicans figure, OK, the trend is clearly that voters want brown people. We have a brown person. And if the Democrats say anything nasty about him, we can call them racists!
    Policy, issues, integrity, that’s not what they see and not what they care about. If they can stomach running a Mormon out there as standard-bearer, they’re clearly girding themselves for running a minority tool.
    It’s all about surface with them.

  5. Ricardo says:

    Mike Foster sure knew how to pick’m…

  6. MichaelF says:

    No way does Jindal win on a national stage. His future, unfortunately for us, is either in the Senate or in a Redumblican Cabinet, most likely Secretary of Health & Human Services.
    Ugh.
    The Sadvocate (along with the Manship’s radio and TV stations) and Guaranty (WAFB) have touted the boy wonder for quite some time. The fawning was particularly cringe-worthy in 2003, which did provide a modest amount of Schadenfreude for both Bobby and the media when he/they lost to Blanco.

  7. adrastos says:

    Doubt if PBJ will run for Mary’s seat in 2014. He’ll be too busy pursuing his delusion.

  8. Maplestreet says:

    So all the repubs have to do is drop all the stuff that makes them repubs?
    Hard to believe they have **REALLY** changed while promising to make the next 4 years more obstructionism / lame duck president.
    Like Aaaargh says, sounds more like they’re laying in strategy for the next election.

  9. pansypoo says:

    MEANWHILE, in DC, the new Whig party DEMANDS its BEGAZI-GATE!!! bi-partisanship looks surtan.

  10. mass says:

    Of course, the Repubs think he’s brilliant. then again, anybody who doesn’t wake up in the morning and shit in their shoe is considered “brillaint.”
    Boy Genius Bobby is a clown and a religious nutter.

  11. The Republicans should ask around about the destruction of institutions in the state, the privatizing, the lay-offs of state workers numbering 3,200, and that’s not counting the 1500 who will be laid off in the state hospital system. See Advocate. Oh wait! Republicans would probably love him for all that.
    The medical education programs at the flagship university LSU could possibly lose accreditation, and I’m sure there’s worse to come. Oh and he does not give interviews to the local press…ever.

  12. thebewilderness says:

    Funny, Karen Hughes said pretty much the same thing a few days ago. If Republicans want to win they have got to stop repeating and explaining their Party Platform. Because it’s stupid.
    They simply do not learn what they are being taught.

  13. PurpleGirl says:

    Sorry, I can’t help it, but every time I see PBJ I think “peanut butter and jelly”.

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