Oh, NOW You Want a Big Tent

If only you had some kind of power position in the party, or were once its standard-bearer, or something:

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) said that the Republican Party, which lost minority, women and young voters in 2012, needs to have a “bigger tent” during an appearance on “Fox News Sunday.”

“I think we have to have a bigger tent,” McCain said. “And obviously, we have to do immigration reform. There’s no doubt whatsoever that the demographics are not on our side.”

Watching these people flail about is really amazing. It’s like they just woke up JUST THIS MORNING and oh holy shit, brown people everywhere. Chicks. With their chick bits, which need attention. WHERE DID ALL THIS COME FROM? If only there had been some sign, in the past 40 years, that singing Dixie under your breath wasn’t gonna work forever. If only someone had warned them.

Also I love how they’re flat-out stating that it’s not that dealing honestly with minorities and women is the right thing to do, or that minorities and women have legitimate needs of any kind. It’s that “the demographics are not on our side.” In other words, we can’t win with just the old white racists anymore so NOW it’s a crisis and I guess we HAVE to listen to them, god, the indignity, but what are you going to do? They keep existing and breathing oxygen. Inconvenient.

“And as far as young women are concerned, absolutely, I don’t think anybody like me — I can state my position on abortion. But to — other than that, leave the issue alone,” McCain said.

“I’m proud of my pro-life position and record,” McCain said, clarifying that he did not mean he was now pro-choice. “But if someone disagrees with me, I respect your views.”

Do you respect his or her views enough to allow him or her equal rights under the law? If not, NO YOU DON’T RESPECT MY VIEWS, you colossally panderiffic assclown.

In other words I love women but I MEAN I DON’T OH GOD PLEASE DON’T PRIMARY ME TEA PARTIERS. So much for the courage to call for a bigger tent.

Schmuck.

A.

8 thoughts on “Oh, NOW You Want a Big Tent

  1. Dbp says:

    This.
    I love how they think that helping other people is a strategy for their own betterment instead of wanting to help people for the sake of actually doing good (which in a circular way does lead to improving your own life). It’s no wonder they flip the fuck out when they lose elections, they think their opponents are like them, and anyone like them is slimy, vile, and dishonest.
    “Don’t vote for that guy! He’s just like me! And trust me, the last thing you want in office is someone like me. So vote for me!”

  2. Hecate says:

    Wait. Either abortion is murdering babies, in which case no decent human being would just shut up about it to keep winning elections or it’s a complicated choice that’s best left to the woman involved and the Rapeublican Party’s been lying all along.
    And if GrampaYellsatClouds thinks abortion is the only reason women won’t vote Republican, he’s got another think coming.

  3. Athenae says:

    Hecate, well, it’s not like the economy is an issue for us, right? Our silly girl brains can’t handle large numbers. Or the wars, because there are no real ladies in the military.
    Anyway we all have husbands to worry about things like that FOR us.
    A.

  4. mapleStreet says:

    How long has the RNC called itself a “big tent”? I seem to remember it for at least 20 years.
    This year’s “I hate you” tour of the repubs was also while they were describing themselves as a big tent. So we already know what they think a big tent would look like (just shut up and vote for us even though our platform is to crush you). And it wasn’t that welcoming to anyone. So grumpy is just rehashing the same old formula that keeps driving people away (quite ironic in that they are the party of Bush who liked using that insanity is doing the same losing thing over and over again. Not to mention that they seem to think that quote originated with Bush while it is an old adage). A cynical attempt to get votes by pandering. Or in your words, flailing.
    As an aside, the “big tent” metaphor seems open to a sexual innuendo much as the Tea Baggers found out after adopting that name.

  5. Chuckchuck says:

    “…colossally panderiffic assclown. ”
    A you are a true wordsmith.

  6. Brooklyn Girl says:

    It’s amazing how stupid they think we are.

  7. swoosh says:

    Notice how the Jon Kyl/Kay B. Hutchison proposal to make the GOP tent bigger, aimed at children of illegals who keep their noses clean, doesn’t lead to actual US citizenship, which would also lead to (HORRORS!) their ability to vote (for Democrats).

  8. thebewilderness says:

    Really? How can we sell “come in to my parlor said the spider to the fly” without mentioning food?
    Criminy!

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