No It Won’t, You Fucking Poser-Loser … Ploser? We Need a New Word, That’s How Much This Guy Sucks.

God, armchair revolutionaries make me tired.

1776 will not commence again, because that would require that you give up your job that you hate and your family you don’t like very much and your fucking recliner and your Bugles filled with spray cheese and actually DO SOMETHING, and if you were capable of improving the world in any miniscule way you wouldn’t be such an angry fucking insect in the first place, and you wouldn’t need to use the prospective deaths of others to yob off in front of the world on national television to make yourself sound important. Fuck you.

God, can all these people just get back to me when there’s a meeting I actually need to be at? At least ten times a day somebody within earshot of me wishes armed revolution would commence over something or other, and is this me getting old, that I’ve been on this planet long enough to remember EVERY TIME that we are always promising that THIS is gonna be the big one and it never fucking is? How 9/11 was going to make us better people (SO FUCKING GROSS) and how we were gonna be serious again, how the wars were going to teach us not to be so susceptible to bullshit, how Obama’s election would end racism forever, how this time, today, this morning, it was all gonna change?

(And it never goddamn does, and I don’t even care that it doesn’t. I care that we keep saying stupid shit. I care that we keep making promises we can’t keep, instead of getting up every day and picking up the laundry off the bathroom floor for once. The big promises DAMAGE us, they ruin us with their hopelessness, because they make us think ALL promises are hopeless, and ALL change is impossible, and all progress is a forlorn dream with no chance of coming true.)

So now the gun nuts are going to rise, huh? No they’re not. Not en masse. Not in a wave that will remake this nation. Not to throw off the yoke of oppression or to protect “freedom” (Hey fuckos, you want to shoot shit for a living and defend freedom? The recruiting office is right there.) or even to keep the rusty hunting rifle Granny kept for shootin’ varmints. A few people will cause untold amounts of carnage because bullshit merchants like this guy keep yelling, and the majority of people will go on about their lives.

Grumbling, sure. Resentful, sure. Just like every other Tuesday in the entire universe ever, because we have made these kinds of declarations before, and I’ll believe in the next leader of the Last Free Republic when he puts down the remote and does something, anything other than talk about what he’s gonna do someday, this time, for real.

A.

6 thoughts on “No It Won’t, You Fucking Poser-Loser … Ploser? We Need a New Word, That’s How Much This Guy Sucks.

  1. dapaPa says:

    Even though I don’t have much use for Morgan or for CNN, Alex Jones was rude, crude, and just plain nuts.
    The good news is that when the ACA kicks in next year, he’ll be able to afford the meds that will help him cope with reality.

  2. MichaelF says:

    I suppose Alex Jones simply isn’t big enough to “go Galt,” so instead he fantasizes about being 1776’s Clint Eastwood/Dirty Harry…though I’d bet in reality if he ever found himself in real peril, he’d be more like Barney Fife.
    And I find it particularly ironic that Jones and others whining about the big mean federal gubmit owe their careers to…the big mean federal gubmit, which heavily regulates the airwaves over which they spew. Without this regulation, you could forget about hearing anything but static on the radio or any other over-the-air broadcast medium.
    I wish Jones and all the other would be revolutionists would give it an honest try, and not just some weekend camping trip wearing camo and carting associated gear to Northern Idaho or Michigan’s UP. Try actually living without Bass Pro Shop, Cabelas, or even Wal-Mart, i.e., no place to re-stock up on all your toys. Try living without electricity and/or indoor plumbing while you’re at it.
    Jones wouldn’t last a week.

  3. MapleStreet says:

    My first reaction was to ask if Jones was a parody. This almost sounds like something that could go on a comedy show like SNL.
    Then the idea of deporting Morgan because he spoke for gun control (and add in that he is a member of the press). Isn’t there also an amendment for something like freedom of speech and the press? For that matter, I could make an argument that 1 comes before 2 as Amendment 1 was thought the most important. (Admittedly, I’m ignoring that Morgan has what sounds like an accent from one of the British Empire countries. But that doesn’t seem to make anyone criticize Murdoch).
    A fact checker would go nuts. Only USA and Switzerland have firearms? etc.
    Interesting how Jones has every conspiracy theory rolled up together. However I can’t help but note that one prominent one is about the “New World Order” – but no one minded when Bush kept repeating that phrase.
    One gaping hole is Jones’s citing the number of murders. Morgan shouldn’t have let him get away with the fact that murders would be only those found to be homicides. What about all the manslaughter and accidental firearms discharges?
    Jones has mastered the technique of having just enough fact and plausible inferences in his ravings so as to give an air of credibility.

  4. MapleStreet says:

    For all of the gun industry’s bravado and how “if I had a gun I would blow them away.” I find it interesting that a media outlet in (from memory) New York is under fire as they published a list of folks with firearms permits.
    Those identified are complaining that they are in fear as it allows thieves to target them to steal their firearms.
    Well by your own words, the criminals should be afraid to rob your house as you will blow them away. Right?

  5. Dbp says:

    Didn’t jones try to fist fight Geraldo Rivera once? If I remember correctly Rivera didn’t do anything and Jones claimed Rivera beat him up and it was proof of how persecuted he is. Also I seem to remember jones pulling a knife on an unarmed person in a parking lot.

  6. pansypoo says:

    why can’t we have rational?

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