‘Women no longer need to be beautiful to express their talent’

Bitches, please:

Reading through an otherwise insipidEsquire profile of Megan Fox (bitch believes in leprechauns!) about how she’s aiming to “escape from her fate as a sex symbol” (which she goes about doing by posing in her bra and panties for the magazine?), one is suddenly slapped with this gratuitous little nugget from the piece’s author Stephen Marche: “[W]omen no longer need to be beautiful in order to express their talent. Lena Dunham and Adele and Lady Gaga and Amy Adams are all perfectly plain, and they are all at the top of their field.”

First of all, yes, Amy Adams, that horse-faced hellbeast:*

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I think she’s perfect and I want to brush her hair.

Second of all, you know who didn’t need to look conventionally hot to “express her talent?”

FUCKING AMELIA.

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FUCKING MARIE.

Mariecurie

FUCKING NINA.

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Now, you could make an argument that being unusual-looking is a new thing for FILM ACTRESSES OH WAIT FUCKING BETTE:

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YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID.

A.

*This is not about whether Amy Adams is hotter than Megan Fox. It’s about WHAT THE FUCK, THIS GUY.

6 thoughts on “‘Women no longer need to be beautiful to express their talent’

  1. I’m actually a pretty big fan of Marie’s smoldering eyes.
    I think I’d love being a journalist on the celebrity beat because I would love to hear craplike this while sincerely nodding along:

    But at the end of the year, when the feast of Toxcatl came around again, the perfect youth had to smash his flutes and climb the stairs of the great temple, where the priests would cut out his heart and offer it, still beating, to the sun.
    Megan Fox is not an ancient Aztec. She’s a screen saver on a teenage boy’s laptop, a middle-aged lawyer’s shower fantasy, a sexual prop used to sell movies and jeans.
    “It’s so similar. It totally is,” she says quietly.

    I don’t know if I’d think to add that awesome “she says quietly,” though.
    Evidently the memo went out to Hollywood that January is Use A Mass Media Platform To Announce How Annoying All That Attention Is month. I understand how invasive the press of humanity must feel for famous people, but get out of the spotlight if it’s so bad. You aren’t so fabulous that people will keep it up if there’s no new product to push. Do summer stock theater for a few years if you are devoted to your craft but can’t handle the publicity. The paparazzi will go away, trust me.

  2. Notes From My Boner, by Stephen Marche
    D00dz, please effing stop. Full STOP! No one cares about the notes you get from your boner except you.

  3. I bet Stephen Marche is feelin’ so veddy veddy feminist this morning. Dip. He comes off more as, “Okay, I’m not getting any from the women I personally find attractive, so I’d better lower my standards.” Thanks much for messing it up for the rest of us, ya dink.

  4. [I’m actually a pretty big fan of Marie’s smoldering eyes.]
    They’re not smoldering, they’re ionizing, but whatever.

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