The Fantod* Menace

I have given up trying to keep an accurate count of the number of entirely artificial crises that the GOP has precipitated over the past 30 years in order to accomplish their goals of A) destroying the federal government of the United States while, B) behaving like absolute dicks every inch of the way and, C) conserving their last breathe to scream “Neener! Neener! Neener!” at the Hated Liberals as the inferno they created consumes the Earth.

Honestly, these people.

Anyway, in case you’re interested and live in Illinois, here is the White House’s best guess (PDF) about how and where the latest fabricated-but-fatal crisis will screw you (if you live elsewhere, here is a link to a link to the whole list):

ILLINOIS IMPACTS
If sequestration were to take effect,
some examples of the impacts on Illinois this year alone are:
  • Teachers and Schools: Illinois will
    lose approximately $33.4 million in funding for primary and secondary education, putting around 460
    teacher and aide jobs at risk. In addition about 39,000 fewer students would be served and
    approximately120 fewer schools would receive funding.
  • Education for Children with
    Disabilities: In addition, Illinois will lose approximately $24.7 million in funds for about 300
    teachers, aides, and staff who help children with disabilities.
  • Work-Study Jobs: Around 3,280 fewer low
    income students in Illinois would receive aid to help them finance the costs of college and
    around 2,650 fewer students will get work-study jobs that help them pay for college.
  • Head Start: Head Start and Early Head
    Start services would be eliminated for approximately 2,700 children in Illinois, reducing
    access to critical early education.
  • Protections for Clean Air and Clean
    Water: Illinois would lose about $6.4 million in environmental funding to ensure clean
    water and air quality, as well as prevent pollution from pesticides and hazardous waste. In
    addition, Illinois could lose another $974,000 in grants for fish and wildlife protection.
  • Military Readiness: In Illinois,
    approximately 14,000 civilian Department of Defense employees would be furloughed, reducing gross pay
    by around $83.5 million in total.
  • Army: Base operation funding would be
    cut by about $19 million in Illinois.
  • Air Force: Funding for Air Force
    operations in Illinois would be cut by about $7 million.
  • Navy: Four planned Naval Station
    Great Lakes demolition projects ($2 million) could be canceled and a scheduled Blue Angels show in
    Rockford could be canceled.
  • Law Enforcement and Public Safety Funds
    for Crime Prevention and Prosecution: Illinois will lose about $587,000 in Justice
    Assistance Grants that support law enforcement, prosecution and courts, crime prevention and
    education, corrections and community corrections, drug treatment and enforcement, and crime victim and
    witness initiatives.
  • Job Search Assistance to Help those in
    Illinois find Employment and Training: Illinois will lose about $1.4 million in funding for
    job search assistance, referral, and placement, meaning around 50,780 fewer people will get the
    help and skills they need to find employment.
  • Child Care: Up to 1,100 disadvantaged
    and vulnerable children could lose access to child care, which is also essential for working
    parents to hold down a job.
  • Vaccines for Children: In Illinois
    around 5,230 fewer children will receive vaccines for diseases such as measles, mumps, rubella,
    tetanus, whooping cough, influenza, and Hepatitis B due to reduced funding for vaccinations of
    about $357,000.
  • Public Health: Illinois will lose
    approximately $968,000 in funds to help upgrade its ability to respond to public health threats
    including infectious diseases, natural disasters, and biological, chemical, nuclear, and radiological
    events. In addition, Illinois will lose about $3.5 million in grants to help prevent and treat
    substance abuse, resulting in around 3,900 fewer admissions to substance abuse programs. And the
    Illinois State Department of Public Health will lose about $186,000 resulting in around 4,600
    fewer HIV tests.
  • STOP Violence Against Women Program:
    Illinois could lose up to $273,000 in funds that provide services to victims of domestic
    violence, resulting in up to 1,000 fewer victims being served.
  • Nutrition Assistance for Seniors:
    Illinois would lose approximately $764,000 in funds that provide meals for seniors.
* fan┬Ětod

(f n t d )

n.

1.fantods

a.A state of nervous irritability.
b.Nervous movements caused by tension.
2.An outburst of emotion; a fit.

2 thoughts on “The Fantod* Menace

  1. adrastos says:

    Nice title. Punsters are always welcome here at FD as well as Rifftrax fans. Well done, sir.

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