A ‘child-centered family system’

Fuck you, Jeb: 

The U.S. Supreme Court is expected by the end of June to make a landmark ruling that could make gay marriage the law of the land or return the decision to individual states.

“It’s at the core of the Catholic faith and to imagine how we are going to succeed in our country unless we have committed family life, (a) committed child-centered family system, is hard to imagine,” Bush told the conservative Christian Broadcasting Network show, The Brody File, in an interview broadcast on Sunday.

“So, irrespective of the Supreme Court ruling because they are going to decide whatever they decide – I don’t know what they are going to do – we need to be stalwart supporters of traditional marriage,” said Bush, who converted to Catholicism 20 years ago.

Unless we have committed family life? The fuck do you think people are trying to get married for? What on earth is wrong with you? As for a child-centered outlook, God, you know, it really would help with our success as a country. I look forward to your advocacy for things like universal paid parental leave, expansion of food subsidies for poor children, and meaningful immigration reform.

You fucking schmuck. Child centered family life. So couples who can’t have or don’t want kids don’t contribute to the success of America? Say it to their faces, I dare you. So gay couples who adopt, will they be allowed to get married? How will we prove they really, really want to adopt? Should they have to sign a contract?

Keep making less and less sense, dumbass.


Reporters Whinging Because Nobody Will Give Them Things

Oh, grow the fuck up, you whiny-ass titty babies: 

So Chris Cillizza of the Washington Post — whose mission in life is to explain to us how things really work in politics — is rolling along in his “Hillary Clinton is shamefully avoiding the press” column when he cries out to us:

Do you not think it is of value to know how Hillary Clinton spent her time since leaving the State Department? And how the Clinton Foundation handled its business with various donors who would, undoubtedly, still be in the picture if she was elected president? Or what she thinks of the Trans-Pacific Partnership and the fight currently happening in Congress? Or Iran? Or the Middle East?

You get the idea. The role of the media in this process is to show voters who these people are, really, and to explain how these people would govern the country if elected. Like the media or not, that’s a very important role — and one that is essential to a functioning democracy. (My italics.)

The role of the media in this process? What on earth are you talking about, Chris?

You’re supposed to be our super-savvy guide to the way things are in the power game that isnational politics. You are the least sentimental creature to walk that system’s halls… remember? No one can out-realism you! You’re Mister “let me tell you how it really works.” That’s your whole franchise. And yet here you are, bawling about “the role of the media” as if it had some sort of guaranteed status within what reporters (mindlessly) call the process.

Ugh. Whenever I hear somebody bitching about a lack of access all I can think is WORK HARDER.


Mad Men Thread: Person To Person


The most important thing Matthew Weiner learned from David Chase was this: Leave the Russian in the woods. In short, it’s okay to be subtle, ambiguous and  leave something to the viewers’ imagination. That’s exactly what Weiner did in the Mad Men series finale, Person To Person. It was something that was lost on the twitterati. It’s one reason I never live tweet Mad Men. That’s okay for sports but Mad Men requires that you put the fucking phone down and pay attention.

Unlike The Sopranos where people didn’t change because it was easier to be a wise guy, the characters on Mad Men *have* changed and evolved over the years. I just re-watched the first two seasons and was stuck by how jerky most of the guys in the bullpen were, even my main man Deadeye Cosgrove. He was not a monumental asshole like Pete Campbell but he was an entitled jerk who thought he was God’s gift to women. It was before he became a GIF dancer I suppose. Oddly enough, Harry Crane was the least jerky guy at Sterling, Cooper so he changed for the worst.

The ending has occasioned the most discussion online and elsewhere, but we’ll get to that after the break. First, a picture of Pete and the Pegster’s farewell:


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Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – Mooslime Madness edition

Suit up, everyone! There’s some drums of Freeper sludge that I’ve pulled out of the “tribalism” section of storage that need to be opened and flushed, so let’s have at it!



But first…

Living (as I do) in Texas, I was shocked and horrified this week as I discovered that – Texas has gone faggot!

Attempt to block same-sex marriages in Texas is turned back
Washington Post ^ | 05/15/2015 | Sandya Somashekhar

Posted on ‎5‎/‎15‎/‎2015‎ ‎9‎:‎43‎:‎14‎ ‎PM by GIdget2004

The Texas legislature early Friday failed to advance a proposal to prohibit local officials from granting marriage licenses to gay couples, a measure viewed as an effort to preempt an expected U.S. Supreme Court ruling next month regarding gay unions.

The measure died when a Republican campaign to push it through the Texas House before a midnight deadline was stymied by Democratic delaying tactics.

If the measure had reached the floor, it appeared to have sufficient support to clear the Republican-controlled chamber.

1 posted on 5‎/‎15‎/‎2015‎ ‎9‎:‎43‎:‎14‎ ‎PM by GIdget2004


To: GIdget2004

Texas? Say it ain’t so.

2 posted on 5‎/‎15‎/‎2015‎ ‎9‎:‎45‎:‎35‎ ‎PM by doc1019 (Blue lives matter)

To: doc1019

I smell Strauss in this somewhere.

3 posted on 5‎/‎15‎/‎2015‎ ‎9‎:‎46‎:‎49‎ ‎PM by Army Air Corps (Four Fried Chickens and a Coke)

That’s your upper lip.
To: GIdget2004
And Dell Computer fought against this bill? I’m posting on a Dell machine – but not for long!
4 posted on 5‎/‎15‎/‎2015‎ ‎9‎:‎48‎:‎49‎ ‎PM by ConorMacNessa (HM/2 USN, 3/5 Marines RVN 1969 – St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in Battle!)
I don’t have the heart to tell him about Microsoft and Apple anti-discrimination policies.
Maybe after he’s gotten that new not-made-in-America ASUS?
One Freeper gets right to the heart of it:
To: doc1019

So even Texas has gone f____t?

18 posted on ‎5‎/‎15‎/‎2015‎ ‎10‎:‎26‎:‎52‎ ‎PM by dennisw (The first principle is to find out who you are then you can achieve anything — Buddhist monk)

Fruit bat?
Ah – I know – FERRET!!
Texas has gone ferret! (Ms. A, please take note)
To: dennisw

Slowly but aggressively the nation is going either faggot or faggot sympathetic.

21 posted on 5‎/‎15‎/‎2015‎ ‎10‎:‎35‎:‎59‎ ‎PM by doc1019 (Blue lives matter)

More fruity goodness after the jump…

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Feeding the Baby

When Kick was about 10 months old, we were out with her at restaurant. She was fussing, and I got out one of these things to feed her. She ate, shoved it away, fussed some more, and ate again, and I noticed an elderly lady at the next table giving us the side-eye.

I know my kid is loud. I’m sorry. If she doesn’t shut up in a second I’ll take her outside for a walk around the scenic, diesel-stinking parking lot. I promise you I’ve got this.

Eventually Kick settled down and noshed, and after a few minutes the lady came over to the table and said, “Can I ask you a question?”

I braced myself and nodded.

“I had my children 60 years ago,” she said. “What are you feeding her?”

Turns out she’d never seen a pouch of baby food — portable, no mess, baby can suck the stuff right out — before and was curious. We chatted for a while about what babies ate then and now, and she looked at the ingredients: organic this, kale that, quinoa all over the place.

I thought of that instance when this came up last week: 

One bill directs the state workforce agency to drug test some layoff victims applying for unemployment insurance. Another bill calls for a separate agency to implement drug screening for a variety of income support programs, including the federal Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program. And the third bill restricts two-thirds of SNAP purchases to “healthy” foods, while also banning the purchase of “crab, lobster, shrimp, or any other shellfish.”

These are some rules that are already in place, for example, with regard to bread [pdf link which is horrifying]:  


  • Any package not equal to 16 oz
  • Healthy Life 100% whole wheat (high fiber)
  • Bagel bread, bagels, pita bread
  • Muffins, English Muffins
  • Frozen dough, frozen bread and rolls
  • Sugar-free or with Splenda, double fiber,with flaxseed, or gluten-free
  • Organic

With regard to cheese:


• Displayed in the dairy case • 16 ounce package only
• Reduced fat is allowed


  • American
  • Brick
  • Cheddar (mild or medium only)
  • Colby


  • Sharp or extra sharp cheddar, swiss, fresh mozzarella
  • Shredded, sliced (except American), crumbles, cubes, sticks, and other shapes
  • Cheese foods, spreads, products
  • Specialty, goat cheese, smoked, herbed, flavored, cheese from deli case, imported, organic
  • Reduced sodium, reduced cholesterol, lactose-free
  • Kosher (unless printed on check)

With regard to baby food, and this is where I lost the plot:


• Any container not equal to 4 oz • Organic
• Squeeze pouches
• Added cereal, granola, or yogurt • Meat or poultry, rice or pasta(for example, dinner, casserole, soup or stew)

• Casseroles, creamed vegetables
• Desserts (for example, juice & fruit blends, pudding, or cobbler)

Because do you have any idea what it’s like to feed a baby?

I’m not a food Nazi with regard to the kid. I feed her organic food because on average it’s just as easy as non-organic, because I’m lucky enough to live in a place with access to food like that, that isn’t that much more expensive than other kinds of food. (Kick eats plenty of french fries and loves mac and cheese. This is my kid. There will never be a time when she turns her nose up at a potato chip.) She gets the food pouches just to ensure she’s getting regular fruit and vegetables — it’s a guarantee, as opposed to the general crapshoot that is getting a toddler to eat regular-sized-human food.

While I was learning to feed her solids, she would inhale something one day, then refuse to eat it the next. It was infuriating. I would go out and buy half a dozen jars of some turkey flavored thing because “ooh, she loves it” only to open it up and have her throw it at me. She loved oatmeal, each and every single day, oatmeal mixed with applesauce, until one day she decided she was never eating that shit again. (I refuse to have toddler food battles. That way madness lies. You get in a war of wills with a 15-month-old, you deserve the shellacking you’re going to take.)

So we wound up with lots of half-open jars. Luckily Bucky ate baby food. Until we discovered the pouches, we were playing a percentage game, figuring that if we got more food, on a daily basis, IN THE BABY than we did ON THE BABY, she would grow and her brain would develop and it would all be okay. Sometimes she ate 2 ounces, sometimes she wanted more. I stopped calculating how much all the baby food cost because it made me want to do things like wrap her up in a towel and syringe the stuff into her.

“I’ve force-fed Claire,” I said to her once, when she was being particularly reluctant to take sustenance. “You’d be a piece of cake compared to her.”

This is a kid without any known food allergies. Without any major disorders or diseases we have discovered. She is not lactose intolerant or reactant to gluten or dyes, and her likes and dislikes are ordinary. AND IT WAS STILL A COLOSSAL PAIN IN THE BALLS TO GET FOOD INTO HER.

So imagine, if you will, my coming home from one of my two jobs, and not only having to grocery shop in 6 minutes because her sitter leaves in 10, but to do the complicated math that says, “this but not that, and only this much, of this color, from this place.”

Imagine my having to contend with buying specific sizes of food that pretty much guarantee I would be wasting some of it if not most of it since most baby food jars/packages tell you the baby has to eat it RIGHT NOW OR IT WILL GROW SALMONELLA AND THE BABY WILL DIE. Imagine my taking my $200 or so a month, and blowing half of it on stuff I knew she would probably not eat, even if I couldn’t calculate particularly which foods those were at the moment.

Imagine my discovering something she WOULD eat, which some fucking busybody asshole in the legislature has decided she cannot have, because I don’t feel bad enough about myself that day apparently.

How in the CHRIST.

There are a number of unanswered questions in these bills, which are all over the country — no spending on this, because it makes us feel virtuous to say so, and no spending on that, because we would blow cash on it if we were poor and you can’t be anything like us or the earth will cave in — the most pressing of which is, why the fuck are we bothering?

Do we think parents just aren’t bugged enough about the fact that they can’t feed their babies without help? Do we genuinely think that? Because I know the imaginary welfare queens are just out buying bling with all their government checks, and the imaginary pimps are filling their grocery carts with soda and steak and charging it back to You, Mr. Hard-Working Taxpayer, but I know of no actual parent who rejoices in the need to navigate benefits to keep his child from starving.

And making those benefits harder to navigate — my local grocery store has just started putting labels right on the shelves as to what is allowed and what is not, to save people embarrassment at the checkout line — does not feed those kids. It doesn’t employ their parents or even in the cases where their parents are irresponsible fucksticks, it doesn’t teach their parents anything. It just makes the people who want to feed their babies work harder to do something that shouldn’t be hard to do at all.

The woman who approached me in the restaurant smiled at my happy, fed baby and her pouch of food. “I wish we’d had those when I had kids,” she said.


Sunday Morning Video: The Life Of Riley

This is the 2012 documentary about B.B. King I mentioned yesterday.  Don’t be put off by the Cosby sighting at the beginning of the film. It’s his sole appearance. The rest of the movie is a gas.

Saturday Odds & Sods: On The Street Where You Live

Mad Men Season 6

I’ve made a few tweaks to this Saturday feature. Calling it Saturday Odd & Sods was so obvious that it didn’t occur to me until I had a Homeric insight yesterday. Homer Simpson, that is. D’OH.

In honor of the Mad Men series finale tomorrow, I have substituted the season-6 poster above for the usual Who in football helmets album cover. I’m either a substitute for another guy or the face, I’m not exactly sure which.

There will be some rather interesting Mad Men material after the break. But first this week’s theme song, which appeared in the pilot episode way back in 2007:

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Don’t “sexually charge” your interns: Missouri Statehouse Edition

(Ed. Note: I prefer to go with the simpler “Don’t Fuck Your Interns” mantra, but as it is not yet clear if there was “old-man-on-top, get-it-over-with-quick-before-my-wife-gets-here” actions, I will stick with the term “sexually charged” for references to this debacle. I will do this even though it sounds like John Diehl got caught with his dick in an electrical outlet. — Doc.)

Don’t get all “sexually charged” with your interns.

I think I’ve said some version of this about 1,002 times on this blog alone, but apparently John Diehl wasn’t reading us. The Missouri Speaker of the House stepped down the other day after the KC Star revealed he had engaged in a “sexually charged” texting scandal with a 19-year-old intern.

Some have referred to this as “sexting,” which is apparently true as Katie Graham sent Diehl at least one bikini shot. Diehl then explained how he was in bed looking at her photo, wishing he could “have her.” She replied that she wished for that as well. Other exchanges have similar innuendo, ranging from the “satisfy” and “take care of me” jokes to the “can’t stop” side winks. Add that to the emojis and, well, you get the idea. Others have referred to this as a “tryst,” which seems a bit beyond what can be proven at this point. What’s odd is that, although it’s hard to believe that the sexual tension only went on in cyberspace, no one has definitively published a “Monica Moment” for the now-departed speaker.

Not that anyone’s asking for one…

And probably most of us are praying that we never have to hear about it…

I’ve covered murders, car wrecks and fires. I’ve seen disasters and I’ve read through Jeffrey Dahmer’s police report. I’ve managed pretty well, but the idea of this “family values” shithead working into a sexual lather with a kid who is probably younger than at least one of his own children is enough to make me shake like a junkie who swears roaches are crawling under his skin.

It’s not just that the guy makes Wooderson from “Dazed and Confused” look normal by comparison.

It’s not just that at the age of 49, he’s 30-some years older than she is.

It’s not just that this guy is all “family values” one minute and Horny the Elf the next minute. (“I have exercised poor judgment” is apparently the new way of saying, “Whoops, you caught me.”)

It’s that I can’t fathom the idea that a) he didn’t think he’d be caught, b) he didn’t watch at least some TV in the 1990s, when Bill Clinton spent a year on public display for a blowjob, c) he would think ANYTHING good would come of this.

Anyone out there in FD-land ever fuck an intern and end up getting something positive out of it? (Other than maybe a VD test?)

Anyone go home to a spouse and say, “Honey, I banged that new kid in my office” and have your spouse say, “Well, that’s great! Let me try to out-do him/her!” or words to that effect?

I come to this castigation from two perspectives: Having been young and horny and having been old and surrounded by younger people.

First, I don’t know why, but I really don’t blame Graham for this as much as I probably should. Part of me thinks that I should be upset with her and her behavior. She’s an adult, capable of voting, going to war and getting a marriage license. It’s not like Diehl enticed her to come into his van with promises of a Fun Dip or something. She was taking part in this, so it wasn’t as if he was forcing this on her with her begging for him to leave. I would also be really pissed if I were one of the other interns in the program. They all got yanked out of the Capitol because of this twisted Daddy-Daughter Dinner Date.

Still, I remember being this age and the adrenaline of awesome college opportunities. Between the freedom of college, the chances to do new things and my own libido, I think I once almost fucked a stop sign. The pre-Internet days of fucking up sexually, racially or any other way that is really low on the social-approval scale and living to tell about it are long gone. Whenever I hear that the university is thinking about scanning and archiving my old college newspaper, I get hives thinking, “What kind of stupid shit did I write when I was 20 that could come back to haunt me?” As long as she doesn’t try to turn her newly found fame in to “Dig Me! 2.0,” I (and most people) will probably be fairly likely to give her a pseudo-pass.

Second, I spent my whole adult life around college students and I have some how managed to not fuck one of them. Oddly enough, despite what Diehl seems to be indicating, it’s not that hard to do. I get angsty just thinking about one of them thinking about me in any way other than, “Hey, that’s my professor. He’s a pretty good guy and he’s kind of funny.” One year, many eons ago, a student asked me to meet her about an internship letter. When I did, I found her telling me that she was attracted to me and wanted to date me. I laughed at first, thinking this was something one of my friends set up. She persisted. I got the hell out of there, reported it to three people and stayed way the hell away from her until she graduated.

I think she’s still in my “Facebook Friend Request” queue for going on five years now. I delete her from time to time and she pops back up.

Again, a case of the hives…

But if you don’t have the “Danger, Danger Will Robinson” sense about you, or if you can’t just see these kids as androgynous little food tubes that take in caffeine and shit out homework, it is still possible for you to avoid getting all “sexually charged” with your interns and ruining your life.

A) Don’t think about them as a smorgasbord of pussy that’s set out in front of you

B) Focus on helping them in the way you were meant to, not in the way porn seems to indicate all college students want to be helped

C) Put their lives in perspective: When you were their age, they weren’t even sperm.

If none of that helps, may I suggest a quiet room and some fantasy porn? Feel free to rub one out as you watch the “young girl who needs guidance” stuff or the “boss gives it to the new secretary” stuff. It’s everywhere online, it’s mostly free and you probably won’t have to rebuild your entire life as a result.

B.B. King, R.I.P.

The great bluesman B.B. King died earlier today after a long illness at the age of 89. People not only loved his music, they loved the man, which is a rare feat indeed.

In honor of the great man’s passing, here’s a 1974 set he did in conjunction with the Ali-Foreman Rumble In Jungle fight in Zaire. Sit back and listen to B.B. and Lucille rock Kinshasha:

Friday Catblogging: Fight The Power

Here’s Della Street’s younger self protesting  against THE MAN. Actually, she’s just stretching by our Congressional trunk/coffee table. She does her real protesting next to her food bowl.


Speaking of cat power, here’s a tune by Chan Marshall aka Cat Power. Della’s got no reason to fight her. In fact, she probably thinks this song is about her:


Ain’t Gonna Be No Fire in the Hole

Not in Illinois, fuckers: 

As expected, the Illinois House on Thursday overwhelmingly rejected Gov. Bruce Rauner’s idea to allow local right-to-work zones that would let workers to opt out of paying union dues at jobs covered by unions.

The House voted 0-72, with another 37 lawmakers voting “present.”

All 71 Democrats voted against the bill. They were joined by one Republican: Rep. Raymond Poe of Springfield.

Poe, whose district includes a large number of unionized state workers, bucked the wishes of Rauner, who wanted all Republicans to vote “present.” Labor unions were pressing for everyone to vote “no” on the bill.

“It’s real simple. I voted my district,” Poe said after the vote. “It has nothing to do with other things. We all have to represent our districts, and I voted my district. The whole thing was sort of a hoax, but yet it might be the only vote we get.”

Poe dismissed the idea of any retaliation for his vote.

“I’ve been here 21 years,” he said. “I’m not the first guy that ever did it, and I doubt I’ll be the last.”

Of course the whining from Illinois Republicans is epic, because they are all giant babies:

“We are going through a political exercise,” said House Minority Leader Jim Durkin, R-Western Springs. “Two weeks in a row, we are dealing with sham bills. What we are witnessing today is high theater. I’m embarrassed to be part of this process.”

Your party’s leader in the governor’s mansion proposed cutting autism funding ON WORLD AUTISM DAY and is refusing to bury the indigent dead, but THIS embarrasses you? Go back to school.

Sham vote or no, Rauner’s got to take this back to his ALEC buds and they’re not going to be happy. What are they paying him for, anyway?


I Wish It Would Rain

It’s been a bad week for my allergies: I’ve had a headache all week as well as red, puffy eyes. The pollen is almost as thick as the termite swarms we have at night this time of the year. Last night was the first time this year that I had to turn off the lights to fend off our Formosan “friends.”

This is a predictably long winded way of saying that I’m scaling back my blogging ambitions for this week. It’s hard to be funny when it feels as if there are tiny men with icepicks inside my head. I have, however, gotten fairly far along with my Saturday Odds & Sods post, complete this week with some swell Mad Men links. Look for it. I’m revisiting some old episodes this week as a “research” project. Who am I kidding? It’s for fun but it’s downright eerie seeing the Pegster’s original dowdy look and status as Don’s “girl.”

There is a caveat to this declaration: a good, hard rainfall that will wash the allegens away. I also wish it would rain in my home state of California. I lived through the last big drought, the first time Jerry Brown was Governor, but it wasn’t as bad as this one. This is all leading up to the obvious musical last word:

Here’s some lagniappe: the Don Draper of British rock, Bryan Ferry, belting out a Dylan classic:


GOP Fanboyz And Their Object Of Worship

From Album 5

So, asked to name their favorite LIVING president, several candidates seeking the GOP nomination promptly answered Ronaldus-he-who-strode-this-earth-without-sin-Magnus…but who is without a doubt no longer alive. To be fair, “living” does make things more challenging, reducing the effective choice to (presumably) Poppy or Junior, i.e., he-who-committed-the-cardinal-sin/apostasy-of-raising-taxes and he-who-must-in-no-circumstances-ever-be-named (who?–no…never heard of him). Maybe they misheard the question, as Jeb/Heb now insists for his recent Iraq War faceplant, or perhaps they were thinking something like greatest-in-their-lifetime…whatever.

But maybe it also tells us something significant: asked what IS a challenging question, the kind of difficult question or decision a chief executive will face, a decision between…Poppy and Junior…turd sausage or shit sandwich…they retreat headlong into the cozy but false comfort of idolatry. Ah, the warm, fuzzy, good old days of the sainted Ronnie, whose reality is not exactly keeping with the bullshit mountain of mythology these same candidates helped build him into.

And that…speaks volumes.

Pulp Fiction Thursday: Private Eyeful

What’s not to love about this title?


Malaka Of The Week: Bill Laimbeer


Bill Laimbeer was the ultimate hiss-provoking cartoon villain of the 1980’s NBA. He was the biggest asshole on the jerkiest great team of all-time, the “Bad Boys” Detroit Pistons. I never thought I would have the opportunity to crown this loathsome creep malaka of the week but thanks to James Dolan and Isiah Thomas it has fallen into my lap like a rotten satsuma. I could have selected Dolan and Thomas as co-malakas but I’d rather beat on the ultimate white goon. And that is why Bill Laimbeer is malaka of the week.

Here’s the lowdown on these lowlifes:

You know what they say: There’s no such thing as bad publicity.

Especially in the WNBA, where there’s usually no such thing as publicity.

So New York Liberty coach Bill Laimbeer is fine with former Detroit Pistons teammate Isiah Thomas being hired as team president, despitethe baggage he brings with him.

As in, how can a man once named in a sexual-harassment lawsuit — like Thomas was when he headed the New York Knicks — be tasked with running a WNBA team? To say it raised some eyebrows …

But Thomas and Laimbeer were no strangers to controversy during their Bad Boys days with the Pistons.

“The spotlight is on the Liberty — that’s OK by me,” Laimbeer told the New York Post in a telephone interview. “People are talking about the Liberty — now it’s detrimental. But people will pay attention — how are they doing, getting better, getting worse? I’m sure some people will want us to get worse. I never ran from that stuff. …

“(Team owner) James Dolan is involved, talking about us. That’s a great thing for the Liberty.”

Laimbeer didn’t address the 2007 sexual-harassment suit by former Madison Square Garden executive Anucha Browne Sanders. He told the Post that he didn’t know how his Liberty players would react but said they’re fine with Isiah coming aboard.

Yeah, that’s what they told you, Bill. You’re the head coach, and they told your ignorant, wingnut ass what you wanted to hear. The whole scenario is more surreal and horrifying than a Clive Barker novel.Now that I think of it, Laimbeer kinda reminds me of Pinhead.

Here’s the deal: Isiah Thomas was a great point guard but he’s a horrible human being and an even worse basketball executive. Only a malaka of Laimbeer’s caliber could think this is remotely okay. Team mates stick together or some such shit. Shit is what Laimbeer, Dolan and Thomas are full of.

In his time in the NBA, Laimbeer was the biggest braggart and blowhard in the game. He and his fellow goon Rick Mahorn were known as the “bruise brothers.” The latest Dolan-Thomas mishigas has badly bruised the WNBA’s image. Putting Isiah in charge of a women’s basketball team is *almost* as bad as putting Gary Giltter in charge of a girls soccer league. Not quite as horrendous but just as icky.

Melissa Jacobs wrote a spot-on piece for the Guardian urging WNBA players to denounce the Thomas hire:

 The WNBA’s New York Liberty issued a stunning announcement last week. Isiah Thomas, one of New York City’s highest-profile sexual harassers, was joining the organization as president and part owner, subject to approval by the WNBA’s Board of Governors. In 2007, a jury found that Thomas, then the president of basketball operations for the New York Knicks, sexually harassed a team executive amid an environment of sexually amplified behavior, and that she was fired after reporting Thomas to Knicks owner James Dolan. She was awarded $11.6 million.

Not surprisingly, Thomas’s hiring by the Liberty has been met with bafflement and outrage. Nearly every member of the media believes that Thomas doesn’t belong in the WNBA. The Women’s Sports Foundation wrote an emotional open letter to the Board of Governors demanding that the WNBA use its authority to set an example for children and not bring Thomas into the fold. Fans are equally disgusted. As the Board prepares to schedule an ad hoc meeting to decide whether or not to approve the Thomas hire, raucous dissent has come from almost every corner. Except one.

No WNBA player, coach or owner has publicly condemned the hiring of Thomas.

I hope that will change. It’s like hiring a convicted wife beater as the director of a battered women’s shelter. Bill Laimbeer played with Isiah Thomas and they won two championships together playing dirty, lowdown basketball. The so-called Bad Boys thought that all publicity was good  too. Laimbeer was wrong then and he’s wrong now. And that is why Bill Laimbeer is malaka of the week.

Album Cover Art Wednesday: Redd Foxx

I’ve had Redd Foxx on my mind since the last episode of Mad Men. Redd was onscreen when Don Draper’s teevee died in his motel room. By 1970, Redd had gone mainstream but before that he was known for working “blue.” His  “party” records were popular in the black community and cult favorites among a discreet and insular set of white folks. Below are a few of Redd’s album covers.

This first album was released when America knew him as Fred Sanford but I couldn’t resist posting it:


More assing off after the break.

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A Tale of Two Cop Calls


When UWPD arrived, the man ran away from the officers, eventually turning “belligerent” and throwing a terrace chair at them. After one officer deployed his taser, Blisset was restrained and arrested.

Blisset was booked into the Dane County Jail with a blood alcohol content of 0.24 percent and was charged with Resisting/Obstructing.


Kenny told investigators he had entered a side door to 1125 Williamson St. after he heard “yelling and screaming” from the upstairs apartment, and feared Robinson might have been inside assaulting someone else. Police had been called to the home around 6:30 on the night of the shooting for multiple reports that Robinson was acting erratically and had battered several people.

After Kenny had gone most of the way up the apartment steps, Ozanne said, the 12-year Madison police veteran told investigators Robinson confronted him, punching him in the side of the head and knocking him into a stairway wall.

The first man was tasered and is alive despite throwing a (heavy, metal) chair at the cops.

The second was shot dead by police.

I’ll give you three guesses. The first two don’t count. What do you think the difference was?


Three Hundred Thousand: A Question Thread

I don’t even know how, okay.

I didn’t grow up with money. Don’t get me wrong, wasn’t nobody poor, but money was never separated, for me, from the things it could buy. Ten dollars meant groceries and twenty dollars meant books. In the course of ordinary life, “checking to be sure we can afford that” was something that was done. I didn’t grow up able to forget about money, and I certainly think about it now.

There are some things I spend on because I need to, and some things that I splurge on because I want to. But $300K on food and drink is … like, you have to be at the stage of your financial life where you just cannot even wrap your head around what money IS, to buy that kind of meal. Because otherwise aren’t you sitting at the table going, “That’s somebody’s house. Two somebodies, depending?”

So here is my question. Assume you have an unlimited expense account. What meal do you buy? What wine, what booze, what everything? Live like Christie for a moment and tell me what you’d do.



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