Iberia Parish Sheriff’s Liar’s Office

From Album 5

To Protect and Self-Serve

In light of the murder of Michael Brown, the murder of Victor White is at long last receiving additional scrutiny, though the blue wall is still firmly in place…with an explanation that would be laughably absurd if not for the fact that a young man is dead.

Parish officials, including the coroner, insist that White, after being searched, charged with possession, handcuffed with his hands behind his back, and seat belted into the back of a police cruiser, somehow managed to produce an undetected handgun…and shoot himself.The autopsy, recently released, contradicts the initial police report that White shot himself in the back. It also notes abrasions consistent with being beaten. But…it still lists the cause of death as suicide.

Oh, by the way, otherwise unrelated (but not really unrelated), here’s a photo of Charles Beck in handcuffs. Beck, a film executive/producer, was falsely accused of participating in a Los Angeles robbery last week, and held for hours before officers got the bright idea to compare his appearance to that of the suspect on an HD security video. I dunno, but it sure doesn’t look like his handcuffed hands could do much of anything…

I suppose you could say we’ve advanced somewhat: if I remember, the killers of Emmett Till didn’t even bother to lie. But that’s a damn small step in a half century and hardly any comfort to the victims or their families. 

Pulp Fiction Thursday: Suddenly


Frank Sinatra was on fire when he made Suddenly. He was hot off his Oscar winning performance in From Here To Eternity. Suddenly is an odd pulpy noir with Sinatra as the villain and Sterling Hayden as a small town Sheriff. Sterling rarely played cops except for crooked ones like Captain McCluskey in The Godfather. Btw, one thing that made me such a film noir fan was first seeing Hayden and Richard Conte in One and then in so many little gems from the Fifties on the teevee machine. All roads in my life that do not lead to The Sopranos lead to The Godfather. Where have you gone, Johnny Fontane?

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Soul Week: For The Love Of Money

For The Love Of Money is the song that Donald Trump uses as the theme song for his stupid teevee show, The Apprentice. It’s time to take this great Gamble-Huff-Jackson song back from Malaka Bad Hair. We’ll start off with the O’Jays burning down the house on Soul Train:

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Malaka Of The Week: ESPN

Those kooky kids at ESPN have been obsessed with the Michael Sam story. It *is* a helluva story but there’s a particular sub-plot that they cannot get enough of:

During a segment on “SportsCenter,” Anderson was asked how St. Louis Rams rookie defensive end Michael Sam, the first openly gay player to be drafted by an NFL team, was “fitting in” with his teammates.

The reporter then relayed some observations from an anonymous Rams player, who said that Sam might be steering clear of the showers to avoid making his teammates uncomfortable. Langford and Rams linebacker Alec Ogletree, Anderson noted, said they hadn’t paid attention to Sam’s shower routine.

But another Rams defensive player told me that quote Sam is respecting our space and that from his perspective, he seems to think that Michael Sam is waiting to kind of take a shower as not to make his teammates feel uncomfortable while Langford and linebacker Alec Ogletree told me that they didn’t know that specifically and also weren’t tracking that. Now while Langford told me, ‘Listen, I have not been in the shower at the same time as Michael Sam,’ he said that there definitely could be a million reasons as to why that is. He said he could be doing extra work on the practice field, he could be riding his bike, he could be doing extra cardio, but overall Langford said he seems to be adjusting to the life in the NFL and the speed of the game.

ESPN clearly believes there is a cocksucking imperative among gay men. They cannot control themselves when seeing manly bodies and their packages. This is part and parcel of all the gay rape jokes out there. You know the ones I mean: don’t bend over in the shower, prisoners, or you’ll get buggered. Rush Limbaugh is fond of talking about anal rape, which is the clearest indication that it’s not funny.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Here’s the deal. It is a completely valid story to inquire as to how well Michael Sam is getting on with his team mates and if they’re accepting him. Discussing whether they shower together is, quite simply, adolescent malakatude. It’s especially disheartening because Ms. Anderson is African-American as you can see in the segment video:

Remember the stereotype about black men being beasts who cannot keep it in their pants? This indirectly feeds into that. If they don’t knock this shit off, they’ll inquire as to whether he’s a top or a bottom. This is not the first time that ESPN has shown a prurient interest in Sam’s hygenic habits, they even ran a story in their magazine about locker room showering. I shit you not. It reminds me of the bad joke Greek-American kids tell at school when they’re 13: “I’m going to malaka.” There are other variations but this is the worst one, which is what this pitiful story deserves.

ESPN needs to grow up and stop beating off over this story. Here’s hoping Keith Olbermann tears his network a new one. He hasn’t been nearly fired since returning.

This just in: ESPN is no longer sticking by the story and has apologized. They should have knocked it off to begin with, and that is why ESPN is malaka of the week.

Album Cover Art Wednesday: Garcia


I’ve been going through another Dead phase of late. Anyone surprised? I thought not. I decided to write a bit about Jerry Garcia’s eponymous 1972 solo LP. It’s his first solo outing and his best, featuring a George Raft of songs played live by the little combo he spent most of his time on the road with. Jerry played most of the instruments himself and very well indeed. It was the fad at that point since Macca had just done the same on his own eponymous debut album. Woo.

Bob Seidemann’s cover is an exercise in hippie surrealism. I’m particularly fond of the 4-fingered hand, which is, of course, Jerry’s. The cards are a bow to the poker themed songs Deal and Loser. I don’t think I’d want to play poker with lyricist Robert Hunter: I bet he has an ace or two up his sleeve.

Here’s the album. Yeah, I know, you’re seeing double. What can I say?

Finally, here’s Dave Alvin’s interpretation of Loser from West Of The West,  his album  of songs about California or by California songwriters:

Controversial Artwork

Good for illustrator Mary Engelbreit: 

With Brown’s mother in mind, she created the picture of an African American mom holding her young son in her lap. His hands are raised in the familiar gesture of surrender as the two gaze at a newspaper headline that says, “Hands Up! Don’t Shoot.”

There’s a single tear falling from the mother’s eye. Running down the side of the illustration are the words, “No one should have to teach their children this in the USA.”

That, apparently, is a divisive sentiment. IF YOU’RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE:

She posted the information on Facebook and her Web siteThen the onslaught of comments began. “I was shocked by how ugly the comments were,” Engelbreit said. People threatened to boycott her products. Some demanded she give equal time to create an illustration favoring law enforcement. Others resorted to name-calling and epithets.

Because that’s the balance.

Black children and law enforcement are equal opposites.

She should give some space in her artwork to both of those sides.

After all, you can’t care about cops unless you agree that an unarmed black teenager should be shot by one without any outcry whatsoever.

Those are two weights on the scales. Black children, and police officers. Can’t love one without hating the other. I mean Jesus Meyer Lemon Christ.

I always thought Mary Engelbreit’s target market (as distinct from her work) was ladies who get their political news from their hairdressers, so I can’t say I’m surprised by the viciously racist reaction to this mildest of sentiments, this statement that perhaps we shouldn’t have to teach children to surrender before they can talk. Here’s one of the saner responses:

I cannot believe this! I’ve been a fan of ME for so many many years! Love the merrily merrily items — Hence my name! This, unfortunately really rubs me the wrong way! I probably will have to say bye bye ME!

Yes. This is truly a bridge too far. To state, without much rancor, that black children don’t deserve to grow up as if they are de facto enemies of the establishment, that’s what rubs this lady the wrong way. If this is too extreme for her, I wonder where she goes next. What’s the next level down? Did Thomas Kinkade ever advocate for fair housing? What about the Precious Moments kids? Are Beanie Babies apolitical? Or is that stuffed frog up to something?


The Libertarian Second

Earlier this month, the New York Times Magazine ran a piece by Robert Draper positing that the Libertarian moment may have arrived. I was skeptical when I heard of the article, more skeptical when I read it, and my skepticism was confirmed when I read about this Pew poll: 

“Libertarian” conjures anti-interventionism in foreign policy and absolutism in civil liberties. Think of Paul’s now-famous filibuster of the nomination of CIA director John Brennan over the possibility of military drones being used on U.S. soil.

But Pew’s research showed striking departures from the expected party line. Libertarians were more likely than the general U.S. population to say that it is better for the United States to have an active role in world affairs, according to the Center.

They even favored stop-and-frisk — the controversial policing tactic — a touch more than the average American, despite civil rights supposedly being one of the cornerstones of the libertarian movement.

Pew dug further into the numbers by looking back at its political typology report from June. Tellingly, out of the seven typologies that Pew identified within U.S. politics, “none closely resembled libertarians, and, in fact, self-described libertarians can be found in all seven,” Kiley wrote. In some of the early versions of the report, there was a group that looked like libertarians. They made up about 5 percent of the U.S. population.

I think the press has confused the Paulites (Paultards in impolite company) with the common garden variety person that calls themselves libertarian. My experience is that most self-described libertarians are really conservatives who are uncomfortable with the religious right and the batshit crazy  teanut wing of the GOP. They may be socially moderate and fiscally conservative but they tend to be as the headline on  Jim Newell’s post on the Pew poll at Salon pointed out:

Libertarians’ true identity revealed: rich conservatives OK with gay people, basically.

That’s a far cry from swallowing Senator Aqua Buddha’s brogressive agenda. That’s a word Charlie Pierce has pasted on the Junior Senator from Kentucky, and I like it because it’s as nebulous as Paul’s own beliefs. He hates big guvmint except when it involves abortion rights and then he likes it. He has already crawfished on some of the statements he made when the streets of Ferguson, MO were hazy with tear gas. Aqua Buddha is just another conventional politician pretending to be a conviction politician. He’s not going to lure minority voters to the GOP just by speaking at Howard and hanging out with Corey Booker.

I have long experience dealing with educated people who are embarrassed to be associated with the GOP’s knuckledraggers and biblethumpers.  They call themselves libertarians when, in fact, they’re conservatives who live in the 21st Century. As a veteran of the 1980’s political scene, I’m getting a kick out of conservativism becoming a toxic label. The same thing happened to the word liberal in the Reagan era, which is why the term progressive was revived. I’m still not crazy about it since some early 20th Century progressives were xenophobic racists who thought eugenics was swell. That’s why I’ve always called myself a liberal, which reminds me of  this speech that Laurence O’Donnell never tires of reminding us that he wrote for Jimmy Smits:

As you can tell, I don’t believe for a second that the Libertarian moment has arrived. I think the folks who insist on calling themselves that need a new term. How about Sane Conservatives?

Soul Week: Just My Imagination


I decided to ditch last night’s long title in favor of concision. I’m not known for being concise but I though I’d try it out to keep y’all off balance. Just My Imagination was one of the Temptations best songs and biggest hits. It was written by the crack team of Whitfield and Strong and was produced by Norman Whitfield. He was better known for  his hard edged, funky production on tracks like Cloud Nine and Ball Of Confusion but a light touch was required for this wistful and lyrical song. The rock cover is by-who else?- the Rolling Stones. It’s not so much a cover as a re-interpretation, which the best cover versions always are. I threw in a swell Jazz take on this Motown classic by Dianne Reeves just for the hell of it.

First, the Temptations featuring Eddie Kendricks with the main vocal and Paul Williams singing the bridge:

The picture on the video is of an earlier version of the Temps but I wanted the studio version. What can I tell ya?

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Obama Enters week one of presidency

It’s about fucking time: 

He said service members leaving the military who are being treated for mental health conditions would now be automatically enrolled in a program in which mental health professionals help them move to VA care.

Currently, service members must be specifically referred to the program by their Defense Department providers or seek out the program on their own.

“Additionally, VA will implement a new policy to ensure that recently discharged service members enrolling in the VA health care system maintain access to mental health medication prescribed by an authorized DoD provider regardless of whether the medication is currently on VA’s formulary,” the White House said.

Did anybody not know the VA was fucked up? I mean, we might not have known how fucked up, but if you talk to any six vets they’ll tell you sixteen horror stories, and given the state of mental health coverage for rich people (it still sucks) with private insurance, does it take a major genius to figure out this was going on?


Soul Week: The Take Me In Your Arms (Rock Me A Little While) Variations

There’s something about the summer heat that makes me want to hear some sweet soul music. I also feel like playing compare and contrast by posting an original soul version followed by a rock and roll variation. Today, we’ll start with the Holland-Dozier-Holland tune Take Me In Your Arms (Rock Me A Little While.) It was recorded by several soul artists before being turned into a monster hit by the Doobie Brothers who really rocked it Motown style.

Here’s the second HDH produced version from 1965 with Kim Weston on lead vox:

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Quote Of The Day: Chickenhawk Edition

Have I mentioned how much I love Dan Rather recently? Here’s one reason why he’s my main man:

My first question to anyone who is on television saying, “We have to get tough, we need to put boots on the ground and we need to go to war in one of these places” is, I will hear you out if you tell me you are prepared to send your son, your daughter, your grandson, your granddaughter to that war of which you are beating the drums. If you aren’t, I have no patience with you, and don’t even talk to me.

I cannot top that. Attaboy, Dan.

Slap Ya Commish

Slap Ya Mama

The No Fun League is at it again. They have a habit of making Saints fans feel downright paranoid and this time they’re doing so by messing with our love of seasonings and hot sauce:

Slap Ya Mama, a Louisiana-based brand of hot sauce and Cajun seasonings, will no longer get to splash its logo on television during preseason games when the New Orleans Saints reach the red zone.

Walker & Sons, Inc., the parent company of Slap Ya Mama products, said Cox Sports Television had been instructed by the NFL to pull the advertisement “in light of domestic violence issues” facing the league.

CST, based in Metairie, broadcasts Saints preseason games.

The red-zone ads had been controversial for other reasons, with some viewers complaining that they were intrusive. Walker & Sons said the NFL sent a subsequent memo to league teams asking them to stop the red-zone “virtual signage” ads during preseason broadcasts.

The hot sauce company sent a press release criticizing the move before the Saints’ third preseason game on Saturday at Indianapolis, which will be televised nationally by CBS.

“People who know our brand ‘get it’ but all of a sudden, after three years, the NFL doesn’t. Maybe they just don’t understand our culture. What a shame!” said Jack D. Walker, the company’s vice president, in the news release.

Walker maintained that the name “refers to a loving slap on the back and a kiss on the cheek to your mama as a thank you for preparing another great-tasting dish.”

The Saints play the Baltimore Ravens on Aug. 28 at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in the final preseason game of the year and CST’s next scheduled broadcast. Ravens running back Ray Rice and his fiancee were arrested in February after a physical altercation at an Atlantic City casino.

The final paragraph is the reason for the epic quote from Evan Woodberry’s piece for the Vestigial-Picayune. The timing of this ban is not coincidental. The NFL doesn’t want any reminders of the way Ray Rice beat up his fiancee and dragged her around like a rag doll. Rice, infamously, wasn’t charged with anything and received a two game suspension.

The NFL maintains that it takes domestic violence seriously. Instead of cracking down on the wife beating ,gun toting players in its midst, it bans ads featuring Cajun spices with a colloquial brand name recognizable as humorous to anyone with a lick of sense. If anything was intended to be tongue in cheek, it’s Slap Ya Mama.

In the end, the Ville Platte, LA based company will benefit from the NFL’s malakatude with increased sales. They’re playing this for all it’s worth; knowing that Roger Goodell and his minions are as popular with Saints fans as the Ebola virus.

I have a confession, I’ve never tried Slap Ya Mama products. I’m a Prudhomme’s Cajun Magic and Crystal Hot Sauce kind of guy, but I’m planning to check out Slap Ya Mama as a way of slapping the Commish and the No Fun League down.

I hope the humorless suits at the NFL don’t take this post literally. I would never slap the Commish, after all he was played by my countryman Michael Chiklis:


My buddy and fellow Spankster Brett reminded me of this throw from our 2013 debut:


our apocalyptic culture

Something else to think about, when we’re thinking of Ferguson: 

Much has been made of the weaponry used by the police in Ferguson. Technological determinism is the preferred intellectual habit of mind of the moment, so it’s natural. If you give tear gas to police officers, the logic goes, they will eventually use it. If you give them military-grade weapons, they will behave like they are occupying forces. And that transference has played out tragically. But the main narrative we have consumed for the past 50 years has been that the forces of law and order are up against apocalyptic powers that know no limit to their capabilities.

Into which the war on terror fed perfectly, and the same argument applied: We can’t get warrants to wiretap people because this new threat is just too dire for that. We can’t follow the same rules we’ve always followed because this is somehow something we’ve not seen before.

It’s bullshit, it’s always been bullshit, and we’re getting to the point where I watch a vigilante justice movie about anything other than a guy in a cape and wind up yelling at the screen, “You could have solved that whole thing in five minutes if you’d interrogated that guy instead of shooting him!”


Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – black in the saddle again edition

Good afternoon, all!

Well, we seem to have gotten my WordPress account issue fixed, so my brief blogcation is over.

Let’s go!

First up – Flinch mob!

CNN Puts Out APB for #Ferguson Officer Darren Wilson
The Gateway Pundit ^ | 8/22/14 | Kristinn Taylor

Posted on ‎8‎/‎22‎/‎2014‎ ‎8‎:‎29‎:‎49‎ ‎PM by Nachum

Last week, CNN was in the lead of the media pack in drawing a virtual map to the home of Officer Darren Wilson, the Ferguson, Missouri policeman who shot unarmed robber Michael Brown in a case that has roiled the small town with riots and drawn the involvement of President Barack Obama.

CNN broadcast video of Officer Wilson’s house, street number and neighborhood while other media outlets named the town and other descriptors where he lives. One local TV station apologized for showing Officer Wilson’s house.

After a week without being able to flush out the media-led lynch mobs’ prey, an apparently frustrated CNN put out the call to its viewers Friday afternoon: “Ferguson shooting: Where’s Officer Darren Wilson?”

Thursday the Washington Post, which published the name of the street Officer Wilson lives on, lamented that, “Ferguson police officer Darren Wilson is nowhere to be found”

CNN acknowledges Officer Wilson is in hiding from death threats–which has become the norm in Obama’s America. If the liberal lynch mob believes you are guilty even before an investigation is completed to decide whether you should be charged with a crime they will hound you with death threats with the tacit approval of the Obama administration.

When Attorney General Eric Holder toured Ferguson this week he made no mention of protecting Wilson from the lynch mob nor did he reprove the New Black Panther Party for leading a rally that called for the death of Officer Wilson.

Likewise with the investigation in to the shooting death of Trayvon Martin, Holder allowed death threats against George Zimmerman and his family made by the New Black Panther Party and others to go unprosecuted.

1 posted on ‎8‎/‎22‎/‎2014‎ ‎8‎:‎29‎:‎49‎ ‎PM by Nachum

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen – the understudy to The Stupidest Man On The Internet has just referred to the reporters covering the shooting of an unarmed black kid as a “lynch mob”.

For reals.


How dare they ask such questions in a public forum? People who do that should be…Oops.

To: Nachum

Ferguson shooting: Where’s Officer Darren Wilson?

4 posted on ‎8‎/‎22‎/‎2014‎ ‎8‎:‎32‎:‎26‎ ‎PM by 2ndDivisionVet (The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself.)
To: Nachum

Can someone find the CNN reporters in St. Louis and draw maps to THEIR homes?

2 posted on ‎8‎/‎22‎/‎2014‎ ‎8‎:‎30‎:‎47‎ ‎PM by SoFloFreeper
Pretty easy to do, actually. If it wasn’t for the fact that none of them killed an unarmed black kid, someone might actually give a fuck.
To: Nachum

When white liberals go overboard on PC cops shoot unarmed kids to death and leave them in the street for four hours while they try to get their story straight, then put the cop on paid leave and hush up the incident report, this kind of crap happens.

9 posted on ‎8‎/‎22‎/‎2014‎ ‎8‎:‎37‎:‎52‎ ‎PM by dowcaet
More after the jump, if I can figure out how to work this AIEEEEEEE!!!

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Sunday Morning Video: Joe Walsh Live From Daryl’s House

The token likable Eagle meets Daryl Hall. The result is musical awesomeness:

takedown of the day: john kass edition

He’s just wrong on the facts and Chuck Sudo has the definitive response. 

If Kass is looking for outrage at Antonio Smith’s killing, he needn’t look far. He could (and, to his credit, did) speak with the Rev. Michael Pfleger, who called Antonio’s death an “execution,” helped establish a $13,500 reward—Pfleger called it a “bounty”—for information leading to the arrest of Antonio’s killer, and added, “If you kill a child in our neighborhood, you are a terrorist.”


If Kass is looking for outrage, he could attend any of the scores of small demonstrations, community meetings and CAPS assemblies across the city to find people doing their damnedest to fight against the prevailing culture, people who are making a difference one person at a time. There he can find some of the outrage he feels is missing with Antonio’s death. Contrary to what Kass observed, blacks are not ignoring the violence ravaging their neighborhoods.

Kass comes across in his column as if he watched 20 minutes of CNN and decided that since his particular thing wasn’t mentioned, nobody cared. It would have taken ten seconds of Googling to find out what Sudo lays out so admirably here.

Nobody came to your house and read you the coverage, pal, but it existed nonetheless. It’s almost like your understanding of the world isn’t the be-all and end-all of existence.


St. Louis County Police Officer Suspended, And Needs Help

Jesus doesn’t want you for a sunbeam, pal: 

Having invited this guy to speak, how do you stand there and let him keep talking? If I was running that program I’d have pulled the fire alarm.

Forget his deep thoughts on Muslims and women and gay people and black people. That’s all stuff we hear from the mouths of Teawad congressmen and distant relatives. I’m still stuck on the very beginning of the video, where he alleges that Hillary Clinton produced a secret slideshow detailing how America is going to be divided up into sections based on where people there are from (I think?) and you’ll need your birth certificate (possibly?) to demonstrate that you can travel from one to the other.

It’s totally credible that a guy dressed like my dad giving the world’s most inept PowerPoint in what looks like a church basement would have the skinny on all that, right? Everything is ten, and it all has to become one. All the police departments will become one. It’s happening right now! Nobody else will tell you this.


Weekend Question Thread


What have you forgotten this week?

I forgot to post the furbies because until about 7 p.m. yesterday I thought it was Thursday.


Friday Night Music: The Wild Night Variations

I worked retail filling in for a friend this week. Classic rock radio was played; some of it is pretty good, some of it cringeworthy. I hereby confess that I’m burnt out on Brown Eyed Girl  and think they  should change Van Morrison tunes and play Wild Night. Big hit, great tune. Here are 3 versions including John Mellencamp’s wonderful 1994 cover version.

First, the original 1971 single:

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