GOP Releases Celebrity Line-up for Convention

From Holden:

Hollywood’s best and brightest stars are lining up to speak in New York for their man George. Here’s the list:

Michael W. Smith – Although he refuses to give his real last name, says President Bush is, “Uh, OK, I guess.”

Daniel Rodriguez – Thinks he might be related to New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez through his second cousin. Maybe.

Daize Shayne – She surfs. The net. Recently dropped her middle initial N. and last name Confused.

Ron Silver – Because Ron Gold was busy.

The Gatlin Brothers – Who says that the early-’80s corporate country sound is dead?

Elisabeth Hasselbeck – Voted out of Australia on Survivor, we thought she might have something in common with the president.

Sara Evans – Will be speaking from atop her deceased husband’s horse Trigger.

Dana Glover – Name is similar to actual star Danny Glover, right? We had you for a minute there, admit it.