Gaggle Bonus: Somebody Please Tell Me What The Fuck Scottie is Smoking Today

From Holden:

I need some help. Can someone please explain to me what Little Scottie is saying in his answer below?

Q No. The only other thing was, you know, he spent a lot of time interviewing this 86-year-old former secretary and seemed to — while acknowledging the possibility that the documents were forged, he seemed to cling to the essence of the accusations in the documents, even if they were phony. What did you think of that?

MR. McCLELLAN: So now some are looking at feelings and not the facts. You know, we don’t have to rely on the feelings of a nice woman who has firmly stated her opposition to the President. We can look to the facts. And the facts are that the commanding officer at the time has categorically stated that what had been asserted simply was not the case.

What happened, did Jerry Killian rise from the dead while I was in the men’s room?