And his name is Jon Stewart. Everybody’s been quoting this Crossfire transcript all damn day, and you should really read it all, if only to become newly disgusted with the smarmy little phony mummy’s boy that Tucker Carlson truly is, but this is my personal favorite moment:

CARLSON: Welcome back to CROSSFIRE. We’re talking to Jon Stewart, who was just lecturing us on our moral inferiority. Jon, you’re bumming us out. Tell us, what do you think about the Bill O’Reilly vibrator story?

STEWART: I’m sorry. I don’t.

CARLSON: Oh, OK.

STEWART: What do you think?

BEGALA: Let me change the subject.

STEWART: Where’s your moral outrage on this?

CARLSON: I don’t have any.

STEWART: I know.

A.