You know how there’s some people in your life who you just know would hit it off brilliantly if only you could manipulate the Christmas party so that they meet one another? That’s the great thing about this place:

Scooter, I’d like to introduce you to Jason.

Jason, this is Scooter.

I’m convinced that if you two teamed up, the sheer force of your comic book fannish-ness would open up a nexus in the universe that would suck us all into a dimension where George W. Bush is not president.

A.