”Max Power, he has the name that you want to touch”

From Holden:

So, Jeff Gannon’s real name is James D. “JD” Guckert?


This reminds me of the time Homer Simpson found a new name for himself on a hair dryer. I suppose J.D. Guckert was too nerdy-sounding for a fearless Talon News reporter. Can you imagine the conversation that lead to this new nom du gaggle?

Guckert: Hey, I just got this sweet gig lobbing softball questions to Scott McClellan whenever he runs into trouble in the briefing.

Friend: You’re going to be one busy man, that guy can’t handle a real question to save his life.

Guckert: You know it. I think I need to use a different name in my new career. Somehow Guckert doesn’t have the edge I want.

Friend: Yeah, you need a powerful name – dangerous even. I know, how about “Magnum”?

Guckert: No, that’s been done. I don’t want to remind people of a washed up actor who could never make it to the big screen.

Friend: How about “Cannon”?

Guckert: Will you stop with the TV detectives? That’s close though. I got it! “Gannon”.

Friend: Gannon, good. J.D. Gannon.

Guckert: Nah, I need a different first name, it might make it harder for people to find out who I really am. I think I’ll go with Jeff, I got beat up by a kid named Jeff in high school all the time. That sounds tough: Jeff Gannon.