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The Road Show Hits Kentucky

From Holden:

Chimpy’s Social Security demolition road show hit Kentucky today, where we learned:

There is no Social Security Trust Fund –

Now, first, you know, I’m sure some folks think that the Social Security trust is actually a system where the government has taken your payroll taxes, kept it for you, and then is going to give it back to you. This is a pay-as-you-go system. There’s no such thing as a trust. The money that has come in has been spent.

If you oppose privatization you are a racist –

Oh, I know they say certain people aren’t capable of investing, you know, the investor class. It kind of sounds like to me, you know, a certain race of people living in a certain area. I believe everybody’s got the capability of being in the investor class.

Your president is still an asshole –

Now, I’ve asked Jeff Brown to join us today, Ph.D. Yes. I’m a C-student. (Laughter.) He’s the Ph.D. He’s the advisor. I’m the President. What does that tell you?

This man who is paid $400,000 per year is “short on money” –

THE PRESIDENT: We got Larry Dean and Bee Dean with us. Larry Dean, glad you’re here.

MR. DEAN: Yes, sir.

THE PRESIDENT: Live right here in Louisville?

MR. DEAN: Yes, sir.

THE PRESIDENT: What do you do?

MR. DEAN: I sell antiquarian books online.

THE PRESIDENT: Do you really?

MR. DEAN: Yes, sir.

THE PRESIDENT: I’m glad you didn’t get a hold of my wife. She loves those kind of books. (Laughter.)

MR. DEAN: Well, maybe I can sell her a few. (Laughter.)

THE PRESIDENT: Well, a little short on money these days, you know? (Laughter.) Government pay. (Laughter.)

Finally, your president thinks the idea of an eight-year-old fathering children is “fantastic” –

MR. DEAN: I’m 66 years of age. I, like Gerald, have been drawing Social Security since I was 62. Call me a Pollyanna, but I have no fear that I will never be able to draw it. But I do have fears for my granddaughter, and all of my grandchildren, and even my children, your age —

THE PRESIDENT: Yes.

MR. DEAN: — some about your age, as a matter of fact.

THE PRESIDENT: I’m 58. (Laughter.)

MR. DEAN: I’m sorry. They’re not quite that old. (Laughter.)

THE PRESIDENT: I was about to say, eight-year-old father, fantastic. (Laughter.)

MR. DEAN: Well, I’m in Kentucky, you know?