A Banjo On His Knee

From Holden:

Your president’s Social Security Demolition Road show (aka Bamboozlepalooza, also Baboon-a-palooza or Buffoon-a-palooza) hit Montgomery, Alabama yesterday. Let’s see if the script was the same as the one Chimpy used at the tour stop in Kentucky yesterday.

Let’s see, there’s still no Social Security Trust Fund. That bit hasn’t changed, but he added something at the end about Treasury Bills no longer having the full faith and credit ofthe United States that in a rational world would lead to calls for impeachment.

Let me tell you about the math. This is a pay-as-you-go system. Money goes in and money goes out. There’s no such thing, by the way, as a Social Security trust. Some people probably think that the government has taken your payroll taxes and held it for you and then when you retire, they give it back to you. That’s not what happens. (Laughter.) The government takes your money and spends it on other things and puts an IOU, a piece of paper, on your behalf, which may be worth something, and it may not be worth something.

And again our brave Dear Leader valiantly erects and knocks down the “black folks aren’t smart enough to invest in the market” strawman.

But the reason I bring that up is there’s an attitude among some people in this country that only certain people can invest. That’s not what I think. I think everybody in America should be allowed to take some of their own money and set it aside and watch the money grow in safe and secure investments. (Applause.) I don’t think there is such thing as an investor class, limited to certain people. I don’t believe that.

Chimpy again sought his revenge on all those professors at Yale who held their noses and gave him Cs.

I’ve asked Jeff Brown to join me. He is a professor. He can tell you where — where do you profess? (Laughter.)

DR. BROWN: I have a PhD in economics, and I teach at a business school.

THE PRESIDENT: Yes. It’s an interesting lesson here, by the way. He’s an advisor. Now, he is the PhD, and I am a C-student — or was a C-student. Now, what’s that tell you? (Laughter and applause.)

Here he get’s distracted by a shiny object a name marginally similar to his own.

THE PRESIDENT: You ready? Got to speak close. All right, we’ve got George Wood with us. George, thanks for coming. And by the way, George Wood Moody — is that right? George Walker Bush, George Wood, George Wood Moody. (Laughter.) G.W., W. — thanks for coming. (Laughter and applause.)

And Mr. Wood responds with the requisite presidential fluffing.

MR. WOOD: Mr. President, I admire you for your courage and foresight in taking this problem on now. (Applause.)

THE PRESIDENT: Well, thank you. Thank you.

MR. WOOD: I feel — I feel that you could very easily have swept this under the rug and say, I have only four years to go, I’ll let some future President and Congress then tackle the problem.

THE PRESIDENT: Well, thank you. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself. (Applause.)

MR. WOOD: Well, I think this shows something of your wisdom, your courage and foresight in meeting this problem head-on, and thank God for you.

Bask in the greatness that is me.

All right. George Moody, age 22, sitting on the stage with his grandfather and the President of the United States in front of a couple of thousand people. How about it? (Laughter.) Life doesn’t get any better than that, does it? (Applause.)

Finally, more fluffing from a chromosomally-challenged citizen thankful for being allowed to enter the bubble.

MS. WEBSTER: On behalf of all Montgomery Alabamians, we would like to extend our heartfelt welcome. And thank you for allowing us to be part of this town hall meeting. (Applause.)