Baboon-a-palooza Gets a Tan

From Holden:

Chimpy took his Social Security Demolition Derby to Florida today. I’ve read every transcript from each of his little “conversations” on Social Security and I swear he gets less coherent each day.

Let’s start with mathematical incoherence.

In the year 2027, there will be $200 billion beyond the payroll taxes necessary to pay for the promises the government has made. It increases every year, see. In 2018, it starts going negative — increases, increases, increases — to give you an extent — by how much — by 2027, it’s $200 billion; greater than $200 billion the next year; greater than the next — you know.

Not incoherent enough for you? How about this?

I’m explaining to people, you’re going to get your check, and we’ve got a problem.

And remember, “you can’t go a Jai-Lai deal.”

You can’t take your money and put it in the lottery, let me put it to you that way. In other words, a personal account doesn’t give you latitude to — you know, you still got Jai-Lai here? Yes. Okay, you can’t go a Jai-Lai deal.

Time to bash federal employees.

If it’s good enough for federal employees, it seems like to me it ought to be good enough for people who are working, you know, who aren’t working for the federal government.

As I mentioned earlier, Chimpy invited The Horrid Womb to this Baboon-a-palooza stop. You know a politician senses trouble when he has to call on his mom to help him on a major policy issue.

MRS. BUSH: You’re supposed to ask me why I’m here.

THE PRESIDENT: Okay. First of all, I now know why I’m getting white hair. (Laughter.)

That’s right, Chimpy, your 80-year-old mother just shambled out of her lair to help pull your little titties out of the Social Security wringer and the first thing you do is heap derision on her hair color.

MRS. BUSH: I’m here because when else can I see my two oldest boys? (Laughter and applause.)

THE PRESIDENT: How about a little better answer than that, will you?

MRS. BUSH: That’s reason number one.

THE PRESIDENT: Now, wait, it’s not, how can I see my two better boys, it’s how can I tell my two better boys in person what to do, is what you’re really trying to say.

“Two better boys”? She said, “two oldest boys”, you monumental prick! I hope sure Nealsie and Marv straighten you out later. I notice too that despite having attained the ripe old age of 58 you still harbor quite a bit of animosity for the old crone, don’t you? Join the club.