From Holden:

Your president took his Social Security Demolition Derby to Tucson yesterday morning, then in the afternoon he hit Denver. With “Jeff Gannon” currently unavailable Chimpy brought along his second favorite Republican whore, Sen. John McCain.

Let’s take a look at the two events.

The Arizona event started with some predictable pap about how glad Dear Leader was to be in Tucson. However, in Denver the president was booed by his own adoring masses after attempting a particularly bad joke about the ongoing water rights dispute between Arizona and Colorado.

THE PRESIDENT: Thanks for coming. Thanks for the warm welcome. Thanks for greeting me and Senator McCain. He’s up here to claim some water, he said. (Laughter.)

AUDIENCE: Ooooh — [The White House transcribed the audience response as an “Ooooh”, but – come on , folks, they were booing.]

THE PRESIDENT: Never mind. Just an inside joke that didn’t work.

Arizonans were treated with the president’s lame attempt to explain why the Republican Party felt they had the right to intervene in one of the most painful and personal decisions a family has to make.

Democrats and Republicans in Congress came together last night to give Terri Schiavo’s parents another opportunity to save their daughter’s life. (Applause.) This is a complex case with serious issues, but in extraordinary circumstances like this, it is wise to always err on the side of life. (Applause.)

Yet Shiavo was not mentioned at all in Denver.

The people of Tucson were told that Treasury Bonds are not backed by the full faith and credit of the United States of America…

Now, let me tell you something about the Social Security system. It’s not a trust. A lot of people think, well, we’re collecting your money and we’re holding it for you, and then when you retire, we’re going to give it back to you. That’s not the way it works. We’re collecting your money, and if we’ve got money left over — in other words, if the — if there’s more money than the benefits promised to be paid in our hands, we’re spending it and leaving behind an IOU. That’s how it works. It’s called it’s a pay-as-you-go system. You pay, we go ahead and spend it. (Laughter.)

As were the people of Denver.

Now, you probably think — some of you may think there’s what they call a Social Security trust: the government collects the money for you, we hold it for you, and when you retire, we pay it to you. But that’s not how it works. You pay your payroll tax; we pay for the people who have retired, and if there’s any money left over, we spend it on government. That’s how it works. And what’s left is an empty IOU, a piece of paper.

Tucson witnessed yet another Freudian slip…

You see what I’m saying? In other words, when we fix the system, there’s promises the government has made that it can’t keep.

While Denver got a taste of that endearing presidential hubris.

I’m willing to say, you’ve got an idea, bring it — bring it forward. As a matter of fact, I think I might have been the best President — first President ever to say, here are some ideas for you. (Applause.) First President. (Laughter.) No, no, no, forget the “best” part. (Laughter.) First President. (Applause.) Forget it. Just because you’ve got a cowboy hat doesn’t mean you can stand up and yell. (Laughter.) Thank you.

The racist strawman made a guest appearance in both Tucson…

If you think about the history of America, only a certain group of people have had assets they pass on. That’s not the America I know. We want to encourage ownership throughout our — all our society. You know, they say, well, only certain people can invest; this is too difficult. I just don’t agree with that. I don’t agree there’s only a certain investor class in America. I think a society that’s a hopeful society is one that encourages all people to own and invest. Please don’t tell me only a certain kind of person can invest.

…and Denver.

There’s this concept of investor class in America, which means only a certain person is capable. Kind of an interesting point of view. I, frankly, disagree with that. I totally reject that point of view.

In Arizona Chimpy pretended that the folks who appeared on stage with him had not been selected and prepared weeks in advance, only to be undone by one of the chosen.

THE PRESIDENT: Mary-Margaret Raymond, welcome.

MRS. RAYMOND: Thank you, very much, Mr. President.

THE PRESIDENT: I appreciate you being here.

MRS. RAYMOND: Oh, my great pleasure.

THE PRESIDENT: Well, this is a lot of fun, isn’t it? (Laughter.) It’s not exactly what you thought you’d be doing last week, is it?

MRS. RAYMOND: Yes.

THE PRESIDENT: Oh, it was? Okay. (Laughter.) Shows you what I don’t know. (Laughter.)

And finally, Denver was treated to an example of the presidents weak grip on reality…

My strategy is simple. I’m going to continue to travel this country, making it abundantly clear the nature of the problem, assuring seniors that they have nothing to worry about, because I understand once that sinks in, once people know we have a problem, and seniors have nothing to worry about, the question from the people were going to be, what are you going to do to fix it?

While Tucson saw John McCain stray from the script.

Private savings accounts work. They have been proven to work not only in America, but all over the world, and we ought to really strongly support it.