Q: Jeff Gannon, Talon News. Lord Vader, beloved leader and master sith lord, some of your political opponents – like Viceroy Reid – have mocked your bold and decisive economic policies. They claim that there are bread lines on Tatooine, water shortages on Naboo – how can you work with people so disconnected from reality?
Lord Vader: It’s hard, Jeff. Real hard. It’s hard work to go about dominating the universe when there are these constant whinings about “freedom” and “civil rights” and protests against “intergalactic facist domination”. My job isn’t easy. I yearn for the day when the entire known universe is under the yoke of the Empire, but I must deal with the nattering nabobs of negativism both in the political classes and in the mainstream media in order to further our oppresive agenda. It is hard work.
Q: A follow-up sir…
Lord Vader: Yes?
Q: I believe you forgot to leave the credits on the bedside table last night.
Lord Vader: Did I?
Q: Yes sir.
Lord Vader: I paid you in full for your sexual services.
Q: You paid me in full for my sexual services.
Lord Vader: My mask and the heavy breathing is erotic.
Q: Your mask and the heavy breathing is erotic.