Sucking This Much is Hard Work

Mooom, Billy says since I voted for the bankruptcy bill he won’t play with me anymore!

Still, there’s palpable anger in Washington at the behavior of party rank and file. One Chief of Staff for a midwestern Senator said, “It’s getting hard to ignore such aggressive Democratic voters.”

A Senator from New England agreed. “Democratic voters don’t have any idea how much work is involved in hammering out compromises with the Republicans, who have earned their reputation for being completely unreasonable. We can’t get anywhere if we are always dropping everything to listen to complaints from our own side.”

That’s because we don’t want you to compromise with those motherfuckers. We don’t want you to hammer out deals that only screw us a little bit. We don’t want you to sit in a room and make nice with them. That’s not your job. You weren’t running to be Miss Congeniality at the Miss Republican Pageant. You were running to represent the people of your district and if they’re insisting you do a little work now and again, well, tough shit.

God, listen to these whining assholes, wouldja? You’d think they have the toughest job in the entire world. Elected by people who actually want them to take in information and output legislation that benefits their constituents. You’d think they were walking point in Fallujah with nothing between them and the bullets but a piece of crockery swiped from the mess and shoved into a jacket. You’d think they were stranded on rooftops in the rising water, looking down at bodies floating by.

And then to imply, anonymously of course, that if we don’t all sit down and shut up, they’ll bolt the party. You go do that. Have fun out there. You go join the Greens. Man, you think your Democratic supporters are harshing your compromising buzz? You don’t know from militant yet.

Update: Whoops. *headdesk* The original diary was satire, my trigger finger was itchy, I’m frustrated as hell these days, which inspired the following rant. I apologize to anyone taken in by my being taken in. You may now return to your regularly scheduled blog.

You want some real work to do? Here’s some real work.

We’re a year out from the midterm elections. What’s our party message going to be? What’s our chief line of attack? How hard are we gonna hit them and with how many chairs? I know it’s getting a little broken-record around here, me and my insistence that we always be out roving around with baseball bats breaking legs, but I happen to think it’s a better default setting than our current one, mainly because oh, you tell me, how’s the high road in this particular swamp looking these days?

As to why one-time supporters of Vichy Dems are getting disgruntled, let me lay it out for you guys, you anonymous Democrats who seem to pop up in every story in which one of your own says something that smacks of the unvarnished truth. Let me tell you what your angry supporters are so angry about.

Listen up, Hillary, Lieberman, Biden. Pay attention, Obama & Feinstein. You too, Leahy.

We are mad at you because the country sucks, and there are all these simple, little things you could do to stop it, but for some reason, you just WON’T.

We are mad at you because our soldiers are without body armor, but I have yet to see you rent a room, drape a stage in bunting, call up some troops’ families, and turn the TV cameras towards them.

We are mad at you because you squandered an opportunity to take Hurricane Katrina and make it the turning point your people, the American people, needed. You had a message and because you don’t understand shit about shit when it comes to making the kind of TV spectacle that people pay attention to, when it comes to taking control of the conversation, nobody heard it.

We are mad at you because you act like “going negative” is a choice you have to make. Guys, wake the fuck up, I’m begging you. This isn’t 1982. If you’re running for office, it IS negative. There’s no “going” about it. The only question is whether you’re going to smack the schoolyard bully across the face, or let him kick sand all over your brand-new sneakers. You can’t defend against it, it never works, it has never worked and it never will and I can tell you that because I’m not getting paid to tell you anything.

And we’re mad at you because we know what you could do if you’d just give voice to what you really want to say. We know you could blow the doors off brick buildings, we know it. And we don’t just want that when nobody’s listening, when it’s too late to matter, when it’s dark and quiet and you’re sure the mic’s off. We want it all the time, because we’re out here, all tlhe time, waiting.

We’re mad at you because we’re out here, getting excited about you, wanting you to do well, wishing for the kind of leadership we know you could provide. We’re mad at you because you are missing this, and every day you absent yourself from a converation, every day you confidently predict that it’ll be okay, that this time they finally have enough rope to hang themselves, is one more day we’re out here, without jobs, without health insurance, without hope for our families members overseas, without security, without a way out of this nightmare of an administration. We get mad at you in exact proportion to how much we need you right now, and I’m sorry if that’s inconvenient for you, if it bums you out on the way home from the cocktail party, but it’s the truth.

A.