Get To Know Father Fitzmas

Read all about it!

His office is messy!

He adopted a cat!

He’s a prosecutorial badass who’s a sex machine with all the chicks!

Okay, that last maybe not so much, but the more I read about Fitzgerald and the more I see how he’s operating, the more I wonder how anyone can think they’re gonna get away from this guy scot-free.

And any smear of him can be answered thus: While Bush was fapping around in Texas daydreaming about being a war preznit, Fitzgerald was trying and convicting Osama bin Laden.

“I’ve tried a lot of cases, and he’s probably the toughest adversary I’ve ever seen,” said Roger L. Stavis, a New York defense lawyer who faced Mr. Fitzgerald during the 1995 terrorism trial of Sheikh Omar Abdel Rahman. Mr. Stavis prided himself on knowing the web of Muslim extremists but was surprised when Mr. Fitzgerald asked a witness about Osama bin Laden, then an obscure figure.

“I thought, ‘I don’t know who Osama bin Laden is, but he’s in Pat Fitzgerald’s crosshairs,’ ” Mr. Stavis said. In 2001, Mr. Fitzgerald led the team that convicted four men in the 1998 bombings of two American embassies in East Africa.