Your President Speaks!

From Holden:

Chimpy traveled to the National Renewable Energy Laboratory in Golden, Colorado, today.

That’s him in the middle, huffing ethanol (REUTERS/Jason Reed.

He began with an attempt to explain why he cut 32 jobs at the lab before restoring them in time for his visit.

I recognize that there has been some interesting — let me say — mixed signals when it comes to funding. The issue, of course, is whether or not good intentions are met with actual dollars spent. Part of the issue we face, unfortunately, is that there are sometimes decisions made, but as a result of the appropriations process, the money may not end up where it was supposed to have gone. I was talking to Dan about our mutual desire to clear up any discrepancies in funding, and I think we’ve cleaned up those discrepancies. My message to those who work here is we want you to know how important your work is; we appreciate what you’re doing; and we expect you to keep going it and we want to help you keep doing it.

He Says Brewing Because He’s A Drunk

Secondly, there is a fantastic technology brewing — I say brewing, it’s kind of a catch on words here — called ethanol. I mean, it’s — there’s a lot of folks in the Midwest driving — using what’s called E85 gasoline. It means 85 percent of the fuel they’re putting in their car is derived from corn.

Hold the Corn

The problem is we need more sources of ethanol. We need more — to use different products than just corn. Got to save some corn to eat, of course. Corn flakes without corn is kind of — And so one of the interesting things happening in this laboratory and around the country is what’s called the development of cellulostic ethanol. That’s a fancy word for using switch grass, corn — wood products, stuff that you generally allow to decompose, to become a source of energy.

Re-Inventing the English Laguage

One way to alleve [sic] the pressure on price is to expand the use of liquified natural gas through new terminals.

Coal: Hard to Burn

Now, when you hear people say coal, it causes people to shudder, because coal — it’s hard to burn it.

Shit-faced, Time To Go Hunting

And technology has changed dramatically, and I believe we can build plants in a safe way and, at the same time, generate cost-effective electricity that does not — that the process of which won’t pollute.