Your President Speaks!

From Holden:

Listen up, your president was in Jefferson City, Missouri, today trying to sell his Medicare snakeoil.

Jimmy-Jeff Used To Help Him With His Analyzation

And so I came to Washington, D.C. and said, are we doing as good a job as possible to provide modern medicine for our seniors? You see, once the government makes a commitment, it ought to be a solid commitment, it ought to be a good commitment. There’s no need to have a health care system for our seniors that doesn’t meet needs. And one of the things I noticed in analyzation of the health care system for seniors, analyzation of Medicare, was that medicine had changed, but Medicare hadn’t.

Pharmaceuticals Have Helped Changed His Brain Cells

In other words, if you’re going to have a modern system, you ought to have a system that says, pharmaceuticals have helped changed medicine.

A Moment Of Reflection

See, one way to convince people to take a look is to have others talk about the benefits of the program. They’ve probably got a little more credibility than I do. You don’t have to agree with that. I’m just telling you it’s a good deal.

Drain Bamage

When people have choice, the 42 plans helps bring cost-effectiveness into medicine. You got one choice, you don’t get cost-effective. You got 42 programs to choose from, it’s amazing what happens when somebody kind of competes for your business, that says, I’m going to try to make the plan attractive for you.

What If You’re A Synagogue?

If you’re a church, part of a church or community center, find somebody who’s eligible for Medicare and help them.

Kind Of Stupid

No better place to come than the state of Missouri, kind of the “show me” state.

Fratboy Asshole on Drugs

And I’m going to start with Dr. Mark McClellan, fellow Texan. McClellan is an unusual fellow; he’s got a lot of degrees.

What are your degrees, McClellan?

DR. McCLELLAN: Mr. President, I have a medical degree, also a Ph.D.

THE PRESIDENT: Yeah. One of the things I like to remind people of is this fact: He’s a Ph.D. — and I was an okay student — Look who the advisor is and look who the President is. I’ve used it before with him. He’s a good sport. His job is — what?

A Joke That Bombed, Even In Missouri

But we also understand that it requires a massive effort to show people — get it, “show me” — to show people — what’s available.

This Is Your Brain On…

There’s pharmacists all over the country who, obviously, interface with seniors. And I want to thank those in the pharmaceutical — I mean, in the pharmacist industry who are explaining what’s available.

Do You Like Gladiator Films, Mr. Vanderfeltz?

THE PRESIDENT: A man of the land. That’s great.

MR. VANDERFELTZ: Nothing like it.

THE PRESIDENT: You got big hands.

MR. VANDERFELTZ: I know how to milk.