Today on Holden’s Obsession with the Gaggle

From Holden:

Today’s gaggle was held aboard Air Force One en route Artesia, New Mexico, where Chimpy is personally guarding our border.

I notice that they did not give him a fake plastic gun as they did the Border Patrol agent (REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque ).

After his stumbling inability to define civil rights yesterday you would think the press would know not to ask Pony Blow to define his terms.

Q Explain “assimilation.” What are you talking about there, Tony?

MR. SNOW: Well, to tell you the truth, Steve, I’ll tell you later in the day, because I’ve got to look at the briefing notes on it. I know it’s a Catholic center and I just — I don’t want to —

Later Pony found his notes.

Q What does the President mean by “assimilation”?

MR. SNOW: Assimilation means understanding the laws and cultural pathways of the United States, gaining a mastery of the English language. Those are some of the basics. I mean, one of the things that has been stressed is becoming fluent in English — that also is something that obviously a lot of Americans support and has always been a key determinate in how successful somebody is going to be in the long run.

Pony Blow has rapidly become an object of ridicule for the press corps.

Q Can you say how likely you think it is that you can reach some kind of agreement before the election, on immigration?

MR. SNOW: No, because I don’t know. (Laughter.)

Q You know how likely you think it is. (Laughter.)

MR. SNOW: No. “Likely” means to assign a probability, which gets you into “more likely,” “less likely,” “is it 60 percent likely” — I really don’t know.

What, was Lindsey Graham out of town?

Q Yesterday, did the President end up reaching out to any members in the Senate about the gay marriage amendment?

MR. SNOW: Not that I’m aware of.