My Love for Craigslist Continues

For serious:

Thirdly, you will please read again what is written above about the blessed diversity of our patrons and our city before you even THINK of opening your mouth to ask me if I consider this a “family atmosphere.” I am sorry you do not like my answer, Mom and Dad, which was: “No, not really,” and which I gave to you in the manner in which you asked, that manner being snide, confrontational, and accusatory. I am sorry that you do not like the music that is being played this morning, since it is “not appropriate” for little Jimmy. I am also very, very sorry that you apparently don’t like being seated next to a table of gay men who are talking loudly about whatever “gay things” they did last night.

I have a suggestion for you, Mom and Dad, and here it is: EAT AT HOME. Eat at home, in whatever sterile environment you have concocted for yourselves and little Jimmy behind the protective barrier of your own front door. Because there is NO LAW that says we have to create a “family atmosphere” in this restaurant—or in any other public place, for that matter—and if you can’t deal with that, Mom and Dad, you can always learn to make your own omelets. It’s really not as intimidating as it looks.