From this morning’s pointless presser. My favorite bit was…

                          MEET!

REUTERS/Jim Bourg

There’s Good Conversation

We talked about the coordination between Iraqi and coalition forces. And I would characterize their assessment as the coordination is good. In other words, there’s good conversation, constant conversation between the commanders of our troops and their troops, and that’s a positive development.

The Following Is Not Your President Speaks! Material, Just Another Lie Since The Vote On Patraeus’ Nomination Was81 Yea, 0 Nay, And 19 Not Voting – Far From Unanimous – And 12 Of The Senators Who Refused To Confirm Patraeus Were Republikkkans

When General Petraeus’ nomination was considered three weeks ago, the United States Senate voted unanimously to confirm him, and I appreciated that vote by the senators.

Two Goals Are Iran

We know that we’ve got common goals that make sense for both our peoples. Two such goals are Iran, convincing the Iranians to get rid of its nuclear weapons.

He’s A Very Sic Man

Now, let me step back on Iran, itself. We have a comprehensive strategy to deal with Iraq [sic]. There’s a variety of issues that we have with Iraq [sic]. One, of course, is influence inside of Iraq

There’s A Lot Of Countries

And it turns out there’s a lot of countries in the world that agree with that assessment.

Dosen’t Know The Meaning Of The Word “Equity”

I changed the dynamic on the North Korean issue by convincing other people to be at the table with us, on the theory that the best diplomacy is diplomacy in which there is more than one voice — that has got an equity in the issue — speaking.

No Available Brain

If they do the second phase, there is a — there will be about the equivalent of a million tons, minus the 50,000 tons, available food, economic assistance and fuel.

I Hope That The Quds Force Is A Part Of The Iranian Government

Can I — let me — I can’t say it more plainly: there are weapons in Iraq that are harming U.S. troops because of the Quds force. And as you know, I hope, that the Quds force is a part of the Iranian government.

JimmyJeff Flashback

Yes, ma’am. You’re not a “ma’am.”

Hello Drain Bamage, My Old Friend

It’s one of the challenges I have to explain to the American people what Iraq will look like in a situation that will enable us to say we have accomplished our mission.

It’s Like Zero Car Bombings, Dude

First, the — Iraq will be a society in which there is relative peace. I say “relative peace” because if it’s like zero car bombings, it never will happen that way. It’s like — the fundamental question is, can we help this government have the security force level necessary to make sure that the ethnic cleansing that was taking place in certain neighborhoods has stopped.

Who Is This Dissafected Sunni?

And so there — and then there’s this disaffected Sunnis, people who believe that they should still be in power in spite of the fact that the Shia are the majority of the country, and they’re willing to use violence to try to create enough chaos so they get back in power.

Damn, That’s Some Good Blow!

But nevertheless, it is — it was dangerous enough that I had to make a decision to try to stop it, so that a government that is bound by a constitution, where the country feels relatively secure as a result of a security force that is even-handed in its application of security; a place where the vast resources of the country — this is a relatively wealthy country, in that they’ve got a lot of hydrocarbons — is shared equally amongst people; that there is a federalism that evolves under the Constitution where the local provinces have got authority, as well; and where people who may have made a political decision in the past and yet weren’t criminals can participate in the life of the country; and is an ally in the war on terror.

Laura Got The Liberry

You know, you got the Blackberry and everything there.

Brain-Tongue Disconnect

You know, I’m asking — you’re obviously talking to certain people, or a person. I’m talking to our commanders. Their job is to tell me what — the situation on the ground. And I have — I know there’s concern about the home front.

It’s Sic Because He Has No Conscience

The only thing I can tell you is that when I speak, I’m very conscience [sic] about the audiences that are listening to my words.

What He Learned From Dick Cheney

One of the problems — not specifically on this issue, just in general — let’s put it this way, money trumps peace, sometimes.

On Working With Deomcrats

And I’d like to work with the Democrat leadership, as well as, obviously, my Republican folks, to get it done.

[snip]

I got a letter the other day from a group of Republican and Democrat senators talking about the desire to work on health care.

[snip]

And, therefore, I will argue vociferously the No Child Left Behind Act needs to be reauthorized, it’s working, it’s an important piece of legislation, and will reach out to Democrat members, as well as Republican members, to get this bill reauthorized.

Not My Hog Farmer

The problem with relying only on corn is that — by the way, when the demand for corn stays high, the price tends to go up, and your hog farmer gets disgruntled with the alternative energy plan.

The Defense Of What?

Last question, then I’ve got to go have lunch with Bob Gates, Secretary of the Defense.

The One Viewer

What are you looking at? Checking the time? For the viewer out there — you’re getting a big — timekeeper and everything.

I’m Telling You, That’s Some Unbefuckinglieveable Blow

Look, this is a world in which — and I’m not suggesting you’re this way — but this is a world in which people say, MEET — sit down and meet. And my answer is, if it yields results; that’s what I’m interested in. And so I believe the strategy that — and by the way, I remember this during the North Korean issue, debate.