Proposed “Justice Sunday” drinking game: One tequila shot per three mentions of “liberal.”
This is one amateurish TV production, I have to say. And the stream sucks. Tena will have to post later, and by the time I get through, Dr. James Dobson’s already talking.
Dobson: “Let me go back to my own childhood.” But Mommy, you told me you burned all those pictures!
“The founding fathers intended for those two branches to check the judiciary and they haven’t done it Well, your party’s in power, dude, maybe you should send them a candygram or something.
“The media rises up like a mighty shield.” I wish.
Tequila shot count: 2.
“What’s an Oligarchy?” Well, it’s this crap Italian place but supposedly their salad dressing causes women to go into labor. You might want to check it out.
He’s talking about abortion: 44 million deaths, biggest holocaust in the world history. And there’s applause. For the holocaust? The hell? Tequila again.
The court is on a “campaign” to limit religious freedom. Unspoken: for Christians.
Can’t post the 10 Commandments ON SCHOOLS. Sure you can. Put them on the schools. Put them on the roof or the parking lot for all I care.
This is the whitest crowd I’ve ever seen outside of Old Country Buffet.
Dobson: “We have a right to participate in representative government.” Yes, you do, but what bugs the shit out of you is that other people get to participate also.
He keeps saying The Court, The Court, The Court … WHICH court? Supreme? 9th Circuit? County? State? It’s all just one big pudding to them, isn’t it?
Hee. Unintentional funny: “Call your elected officials and tell them you don’t want to delay.” That I can promise you I will do, Mr. Dobson.
The emcee here, Tony Perkins, is calling out the Republicans now. I have to say this is the part I’m really enjoying. Because can you imagine this army of people hopped up on Aqua Net, with time on their hands, with nothing to do but call Republican senators?
Perkins: “Call them before you have your first cup of coffee.” Now THAT would be high comedy.
Perkins: “If you don’t know who your senator is …” Mr. Athenae: Then leave this church immediately and enroll in citizenship classes.
“Pray for our nation and the judicial system and your senators.” Well, I will, sparky, but I can’t promise I’ll be using the words you’d like.
Dr. Al Mohler: “So much that is precious to us essentially to this civilization is in the hands of the courts. Much is at risk. We’ve been watching and learning. Christians have been conderned to elect the right people and then go home. Learned the importance of the electoral process. Also discovering third branch of government.” Well, bully for you, kidlet. Let’s not focus on the fact that you’re 200 years late to the party and embrace the fact that you showed up at all.
Abortion. “There’s nothing in the constitution about abortion.” I’m cheating a bit, but … tequila!
Oooh, and Sodomy. The Supreme Court found a “constitutional right to sodomy.” Whoopeee! The judges “read into” the constitution. It asn’t there, but was constructed there. How dare those judges study the constitution and extrapolate its meaning.
“The Bible is the inherent and infallible word of God, it is what God said it is.” People jump to their feet and scream.
“Radical secularists invalidated him from serving on the bench. WE oug to see that as a wakeup call because if it’s Judge Pickering now it could be you and me tomorrow.” More screaming. Look, there’s a fine line between being prepared to endure persecution for the sake of your faith and inventing hardships in a vain attempt to make yourself look important.
He’s speaking on behalf of CATHOLICS now? Raise your hand, all Catholics who want to party with this bunch. Yeah, you, over there. The six of you go have fun now.
Perkins keeps bringing up the Senate Switchboard number: 202 224-3121
Do me a favor. If you’re reading this, call the Senate Switchboard and just rap with the operators for a while about what a shitty night they must be having, what with humorless, stonecold sober religious lunatics calling them up every ten seconds.
FRISTIE! Somebody, get a cat ready! Set up the spit!
Frist is a “friend of the family in this country.” Not a family of tabby cats, that’s for sure.
“Reveals to us the need for greater civility in public life.” BWAH! Oh, that’s the best laugh I’ve ever had. Hey, Billy, go ring up Dick and ask him what he said to Leahy the other day, I hear it’s a corker.
This is really boring. “Democrats threaten to shut down the Senate and obstruct government itself.” Frist, that ain’t a selling point. Most people could take or leave government.
He’s kind of breathy and annoying here. “I’ve been trying to work out a compromise. It’s not easy. My Democratic counterpart, Sen. Reid, calls me a radical Republican.” Sticks and stones can break my bones but words really, really, really hurt me.
Is it creepy that I don’t think he’s entirely unattractive? I mean, as far as a guy I wouldn’t touch with the tip of Tena’s umbrella can be unattractive.
Bishop Harry Jackson: Talks about the need to bring the black evangelical and the white evanglical communities together, and says, “Let’s start with this issue.” Sure. Okay. Ignore the starving kids, never mind the cities around your churches crumbling. Let’s talk about Senate procedures and federal bench vacancies. Forget the food pantries. Forget the HIV rates skyrocketing in black neighborhoods. Forget the unemployment in your own community, about police brutality, about child care, about the shortage of affordable housing, about pay equity, let’s worry about the unemployment rate among underqualified judges.
Muted applause. Most people are wondering what this guy’s doing upt there.
202 224-3121. Call them. Offer them a drink.
Hey, Bill Donohue of the Catholic League is up there now. What a shill this guy is.
“If I had a choice between a room of Ted Kennedy Catholics like myself and you I’d choose you any day.”
Donohue says it’s impossible for Christians to get on the federal bench. A cookie to the first person who can supply to First Draft the numbers of Christians on the federal bench, please. He also just called a former mentor a “Jewish atheist.”
Oh GOD. Donohue just called for a Constitutional amendment saying, “No act of Congress can be overturned by the Supreme Corut unless it’s a unanimous decision.”
And he just made a crack about “disobedient altar boys.” Which is not at all funny anymore. Jokes about altar boys were recalled three years ago and this guy forgot to turn his in.
“The secular left,” he says. “Who are they to say I don’t have a right to free speech.” Another cookie to somebody who can find anybody, I mean anybody, left of center saying Donohue shouldn’t say exactly what he pleases wherever he likes.
Donohue: “What are we, the Taliban?” Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.
“They practice intolerance against us!” Again, examples, please.
He’s ranting now, completely deranged, screaming about “the most insane idea I’ve ever heard in my life, two guys getting married. That’s something I expected to see in an asylum, frankly.” He’s silent on the issue of lesbians. I don’t know if it just hasn’t occurred to him, or he likes lesbians more, or what. He’s waving his arms around and shrieking like a banshee.
He says Catholics are concerned about “The right of children to be born and Terri Schaivo to have feeding tubes.” That’s really about it, isn’t it? That’s all they care about. What happens to the kids after they’re born, what happens to Sun Hudson?
“We are a threat.” And I have 911 on hold over here.
Perkins is lashing Senators’ pictures up. A list of the disloyal. The imagery here is really kind of frightening. It’s like a neverending row of targets here.
“These are real people. They have real families.” So do I, jackass, that doesn’t qualify me for the federal bench.
Video of Pickering plays now. Perkins: Judge, please tell me how sexy and powerful you are. Because I know you’re sexy, and you’re powerful. Tell us how, tell us all about it.
Pickering: Voulez-vous couchez avec moi?
Perkins: “What about the CHILDREN of FAITH who someday long to be JUDGES? What about THEM?”
Pickering (looking confused): I think if they want to be judges they should be.
I have a flash of liking for Pickering, which is quickly dispelled. Tequila!
Pickering, now speaking to the crowd in person: “Our confirmation system is broken and threatens to weaken the judicary. It needs to be fixed.” Well, you’re not proposing an overhaul of the confirmation process, Your Honor. You’re just asking for a job. Didn’t Donald Trump just boot somebody off The Apprentice for acting like Trump owed him a job? This is sort of like that.
Dobson prays in closing: “I think of the assault on marriage. I think of the pornography.” Oh, man, I just laughed so loud I scared the ferrets.
Country star John Conlee just dragged the military into this. It’s the typical Republican hash: God, soldiers, flags, hating gays, babies, some other stuff. It’s kind of a nice hash, I mean, except for the gay hating. I like God and soldiers and the flag and babies. Hey, maybe I could join the Republican party.
I’m kind of digging this song Conlee sings. Yeah! Tequila!
You know what this particular Baskin Robbins flavor of Christian does that’s pretty interesting? They claim persecution where there is none, and make you disprove it by being nicer than you would otherwise. It’s not enough to refrain from discrimination and persecution. You need to actively suck up. It’s like the religious equivalent of Black People Love Us. You have to make note of how far backwards you’re bending over. They want preference. They want there to be no doubt that they are the chosen people. I think it’s time for me to go pester the priest on the corner about the Pharisees again. It’s been a couple of weeks.
And … it’s over! I don’t know. I thought I would be enraged and upset and frightened. Actually I’m kind of amused and hopeful now. I want to see these people riled and frustrated. I want to see them call in their debts.
Remember, call the Senate switchboard and see if you, if you’re in DC, can send them a fruit basket or something. Poor bastards.
Tequila! You’ve been a great audience.
A.