Human Foodz

Sweet potato follies. Go read the whole thing, it’s howlingly funny.

The two present beasts are not at all interested in human food. Riot sniffs right past it, and Puck actively avoids me when I’m eating something, no matter what it is. Our late Fox, however, was a human food vaccuum. It wasn’t good for him so we tried to keep him away from it, only to have him snatch a piece of cheese, or a melon rind, or a beef stick right out of our hands.

I once made the mistake of leaving bags of groceries on the floor while I put things away, and I turned my back for a second only to notice Fox sneak into the bag, pull out an apple that probably outweighed him, sink his little fangs into it and take off running.

We never tried a sweet potato with him, though.


9 thoughts on “Human Foodz

  1. Bless you for posting this.
    I REALLY needed to laugh and damn, that was funny. So very like my top dog Grommit with the reproaching.
    It really perfectly captures the complete and total guilelessness of dogs. They don’t lie.
    Don’t get me wrong. They’d like to be able to. They would love to lie, they try to lie, but they cannot lie.

  2. OMG, I was crying I was laughing so hard! I have gotten looks that speak volumes from the dogs I have had in my life. They are the ultimate guilt machine even when there is no guilt to realistically be had. To see “that” look on a bassett’s comically tragic mug…priceless!
    Thanks for posting this, that provided me w/some great deep chuckles!

  3. Reminds of when the dog I grew up with, John, used to do what we called his “goobing out”. If we called him on the carpet, he’d peel his mouth back in a guilty smirk, his eyes would narrow and he’d avoid our looks, his ears would be laid back forlornly, and his tail would be between his legs, thumping in the most pitiful way. He was so guilty, yet incredibly endearing, all at the same time.
    That was my goober dog…

  4. In the summertime, both our greyhound and our cat steal raspberries off the vines that grow up through our deck railing; it’s especially funny to watch our long-nosed greyhound Boomer trying to avoid the thorns by nibbling the berries off just with his front teeth.
    I once baked two giant king cakes – each about 18″ across – one for ourselves and one for my friend who’d just had a baby. We left ours on top of the oven to cool while we walked the half-block to deliver the gift cake, and when we got back 20 minutes later our entire king cake was gone, and the little plastic baby that had been hidden inside it was licked clean and laying in the center of Boomer’s bed.

  5. LOL slim! Our old bassett managed to (in our absence) get a loaf of sandwich bread (that was defrosting) from the back of the counter and ate the whole thing through a little hole he gnawed in the wrapper!!!
    A friend once had a Viszla who was delightfully spoiled. The dog had her own little xmas tree at the foot of the bed decorated in dog treats. The owner counselled the dog every day to not eat the treats. One night, before turning out the bedside light, she noticed that though the tree was generally intact, the treats facing the bed had been carefully eaten off of the tree, the tree was not knocked over (it wasn’t big), and not a crumb to show they had been there – just the yarn hangers left still on the limbs…LOL!

  6. Ha! I have a major food-stealer at my house, my coonhound. Any food left on the first 18″ or so of counter is at risk…and we had to install a lock on the pantry to keep her out (lever style door handles are a bad idea if you have a dog like this – lets herself in or out unless the door is locked).
    For some reason the coonhound especially likes my baking – has saved me many calories over the years.
    But my favorite story like this was a friend’s dog – she figured out she could pull on the kitchen towel looped through the refrigerator door and get access to nirvana…except the only thing she could reach was a bag of raw potatoes – so she ate those.

  7. Yes, my life is odd too.
    There is a bungee cord looped through the handle of the refrigerator door leading back to a (sturdy) stick-on Command hook so the cats don’t open the fridge.

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