Y’all thought I was kidding (warning, sound at the link, and not good sound, either, it’s like “America, are you ready to rock but not too hard?!!!”):

First, from the whitest white boy ever, and this is me saying this:

This is a real azz mo fo right hurr. F the haterz that say he isn’t this or isnt that…they aren’t to bright…this is my main ninja right hurr…VIVA MCCAIN, the next president of the United States of America

Next, in the Department of You Know, If It’s Not Gonna Interfere With Your Dinner Plans, or Anything:

Save America if you can!

Then we have Subtle Isn’t Your Strong Suit Part 1:

Fuck those bastards at the New York Times, right in their faces.

And Part 2:

Tell Huckabee To Stop Stealing Votes. Lol Hes A Knat! Sir, You Are Our next President! I Will Be Honered To Serve Underneath You,As A United States Soldier!

I don’t even know what that last one means. This dude is apparently out of candidates:

I was originally a Fred Head and then went for Romney but when you won Florida and as Romeny dropped out I realize you are the only person for the job.

And then the threats begin:

If your not the next President…I’m gonna flip out

If the above is thebefore picture …

This is way more fun than the Freepi.

A.