‘My Wife’s Vagina Is Enough’

An open letter for Mr. A.

Darling,

You ever talk about my vagina in public, by itself or vis-a-vis its purpose as it relates to you, I swear to God they will never find your body.

I love you, sweetheart, you’re my whole life, but I’m just saying.

Kisses,

Your Adoring Wife

How in the unholy blue fuck do these people stay married? Honestly, no wonder they need the threat of hell and hope of heaven to guide their every move, because can you think, just off the top of your head, of a more moronic thing to say in public than that? Of a more idiotic way to launch into a conversation about masturbation? Of a more idiotic way to launch into a conversation about anything? Just … kill me now.

A.

6 thoughts on “‘My Wife’s Vagina Is Enough’

  1. He would never do that, A, of course not.
    It’s beyond weird, it’s a squirelly type of creepy in a twisted kind of sick.
    [hands opened] How does a souls get so lost? Please start life over, and don’t ever tell us how it goes.

  2. Oh, it’s beyond juvenile weirdoness. It’s a mile-and-a-quarter-high cliff with mile-high illuminated letters in neon orange saying NO, REALLY, I SWEAR, I’M NOT GAY, HONEST!!
    We’re not supposed to notice that there’s this little superscript note-mark and the clouds are spelling out HI, I’M OVERCOMPENSATING as they’re drifting by.

  3. maybe it makes for a cutesy blogpost, but really, who cares. Its the wife’s problem being married to a dick like that who would say something so stupid, no one elses.
    .

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