Your President Speaks!

Today, at theWhite House, during the most lackluster presser in human history.

The Valley Girl President

I think the last time I visited with you it was like — I said it was like a tax increase on the working people.


They ought to say, why don’t we — I proposed, you might remember, taking some abandoned military bases and providing regulatory relief so we can build new refineries.

Medulla Ohmigodda

I mean, if we’re generally interested in moving forward with an energy policy that sends a signal to the world that we’re not — we’re going to try to become less reliant upon foreign oil, we can explore at home, as well as continue on with an alternative fuels program.

The Words On How To Define The Economy

I mean, you know, the words on how to define the economy don’t reflect the anxiety the American people feel.

His Answer To High Fuel Prices

We’re transitioning to a new era, by the way — a new era where we’re going to have batteries in our cars that will power — enable people to drive 40 miles on electricity.

His Understanding Of Supply And Demand

We can also send a clear signal that we understand supply and demand, and then when you don’t build a refinery for 30 years, it’s going to be a part of restricting supply.

Fancy-Ass Words

As a matter of fact, the solution to the issue of corn-fed ethanol is cellulosic ethanol, which is a fancy word for saying we’re going to make ethanol out of switchgrasses, or wood chips.

What We Got To Understand

And we got to understand we’re in a transition period.

Synaptic Stutter

And so you ask — you say that people think we can’t — there’s not any more reserves to be found.

What New Technologies Enable For

New technologies enables for — to be able to drill like we’ve never been able to do so before — slant hole technologies and the capacity to use a drill site, a single drill site, to be able to explore a field in a way that doesn’t damage the environment.

Cant’t Stand The Stand

And one of the — for example, one of the things the — al Qaeda would like to do is blow up oil facilities, understanding we’re in a global market, a attack on an oil facility in a major oil-exporting country would affect the economies of their enemy — that would be us, and other people who can’t stand what al Qaeda stands for.

Which Vision

I think we’re making progress in Afghanistan, but there’s a very resilient enemy that obviously wants to kill people that stand in the way of their reimposition of a state that is — which vision is incredibly dark.

Does Not Understand What “Asymmetrical Warfare” Means

We’re dealing with a group of ideologues who use asymmetrical warfare — that means killing innocent people — to try to achieve their objectives.

A Clear Message To Syria

And finally, we wanted to make it clear to Syria — and the world — that their intransigence in dealing with helping us in Iraq, or destabilizing Lebanon, or dealing with Hamas — which is a destablizing force in our efforts to have a Palestinian state coexist peacefully with Israel — that those efforts are — gives us a chance to remind the world that we need to work together to deal with those issues.

We Have Done Increasing

And in the meantime we have done, increasing CAFTA, for example.

Actually Not A Matter Of Fact

That’s why I told you that if Congress had responded — matter of fact, Congress did pass ANWR in the late 1900s — 1990s — and the 1900s — 1990s.

There Is Rumors

There’s rumors about Iranian help.

Provoke Response

So when you want to talk about peace being difficult in the Middle East — it’s going to be difficult, but it’s even made more difficult by entities like Hamas, who insist upon lobbing rockets into Israel, trying to provoke response and trying to destabilize — even destabilize the region more.

There Is Initiatives

There’s some very interesting initiatives that are being developed there.

What You Got To Ask

But you got to ask, why is Hamas lobbing rockets?

What We Got To Do

And to answer whether or not people’s conversation — whether they’re more effective, all we got to do is watch to see how Hamas behaves.

What It’s Got

It’s a country that used to be an exporter of food; it’s now got terrible human conditions there.

6 thoughts on “Your President Speaks!

  1. Now that just made my head hurt.
    It will be refreshing to have a President who can speak ENGLISH after this yahoo–no matter who wins the election. I mean, McClueless is psycho but at least he can talk.

  2. If the press wasn’t in favor for Bush and continually covered for him, we would see some of these quotes.
    Instead they will use one that makes sense in a 3 second clip and then explain what he MEANT to say.
    They did it for Reagan all the time. For democrats? There is a higher standard.

  3. Hilarious, and scary, as usual.
    It seems these posts are getting longer, as Bush becomes ever more incoherent in trying to defend his incompetent record.

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