‘Ghetto Latte’

This is one of those THE MOAR YOU KNOW deals. I had no idea this was why when, in ordering coffee for the office and asking for room for cream, I get about a quarter of an inch of “room” and thus end up burning my fingers when I inevitably slosh my colleagues’ overcreamed beige liquid all over me while taking it back to them. I just assumed most baristas didn’t want me to ruin their product by putting too much dairy in it. I had no idea this was a thing.


23 thoughts on “‘Ghetto Latte’

  1. Ask for a medium coffee in a large cup. That’ll usually get you the room you need.

  2. Aaargh, I tried that. They told me you paid for the cup size, not what size coffee was in it.
    I’m just gonna start stocking half and half at the office.

  3. Well, I always ask for plenty of room for cream. I am getting less coffee, so what’s the big freakin’ deal to them? If they’d make coffee that didn’t taste like burnt asphalt, I wouldn’t need all the cream. But, also, I ask for plenty of room for cream so I don’t slop the coffee all over my hand when I leave. I have had plenty of Starbucks counterfolk ask me if I’d rather have the larger cup, too.
    I think your quarter-inch thing is just inattention on the part of the coffee pourer.
    As for that link you posted? What on earth does the barista care what happens to his coffee once he pours it and has the money in his register? I used to bartend and really had to hold my nose on certain drinks I made (scotch & milk anyone?), but I never got snitty because, hey, I’M not drinking it–or paying for it.

  4. On the web page feature in the link – is this coffee shop run by the same guy that runs the “Soup Nazi” shop of Steinfeld fame?

  5. umm…okay, maybe i’m putting on the “humorless liberal” hat here…but, am i the only person who feels a wee tad uncomfortable with the turn of phrase “ghetto-” anything, meant to denote something somehow inferior? i know context is everything, but in this context it just feels wrong. sorry to be so nitpicky.

  6. this is bad. all the waste. just get a better coffee pot at work and tell them to get mugs. technically when i ‘worked’ i brought my own coffee in a thermos. but made the coffee for the shop. cause i make good coffee. new office idiot put WARM WATER IN THE PERCOLATOR!!!!! the other workers liked the dark roast beans. DON’T BURN YER BEANS!
    starfucks is just a rip off.

  7. The most revered coffee shops in Seattle are those that serve a great coffee and leave you the fuck alone. Now, these shops aren’t the most ‘popular’, just the most revered.
    I’ve been to Snotty Latte’ and it’s still the same cuppa joe. Why would I spend my ducats at some dark neo-retro cave on Capital Hill just to have some graffiti skinned Amy Winehouse-wannabe with more rings on his face than a bowl of Fruit Loops give me attitude and a bad latte’? And please could they take a bath once in a while?
    My shop has great cupcakes, lots of frosting! The coffee is great and cheap. They make it the way you want it. They don’t have to drink, why not just make it.
    I spent a couple of hours there talking to the baristas about the ’70’s. They were entranced by my stories. Even the ones that were true!

  8. My wife’s technique is to just pour out some of the coffee anywhere that’s convenient, leaving plenty of room. But, she likes ice cream in hers – a subject for another day.

  9. The only thing I’ve ever had from Starbucks was a soy chai latte, and I’m not even sure they didn’t cross-contaminate it when they put the bubbles in. Why pay five bucks for something I can make at home anyway? Otherwise, I don’t do store-bought hot drinks like that; I’ve got a selection of tea in my desk drawer at work and a tea ball, there’s a water cooler, mugs, and a microwave, so I’m set.

  10. pansy, “don’t burn yer beans” is like picking on pepsi drinkers while sippin’ on a a coke.
    You stick to French Roast, I’ll stick to Italian Roast, and we’ll all rant together, on and on, on and on.

  11. Just to play devil’s advocate and stir things up: Would you ask an artist to abandon his artistic talent? Would you ask Da Vinci to draw stick figures?
    And isn’t the product they make (including the decision to sale something or not) a freedom on their part? Let’s face it, stores make a decision to sale or not sale something all the time.
    OTOH – when you do a public service, you’ve got to deal with the public.

  12. r@d@r, it’s a quote from the post, what the coffee dude in question called the drink he thought his customer was making.

  13. Not a coffee person, but I’ve been to murky coffee in DC and had their $5 hot chocolate. It is freaking good, rivals hot chocolate I’ve had in Paris.
    However, it was definitely a very cooler-than-thou type of atmosphere. I only went b/c I had read an article in the grey lady about finding good hot chocolate only a few days before I was traveling to DC for work and this place was mentioned.

  14. Lessee… although it is quite popular with the kids theses days, I have to agree that the use of the word “ghetto” is offensive. I suggest replacing that with “assistance” (as in government assistance). And if you are adding half and half it technically isn’t a latte, it’s a breve, right? So I shall now call my regular coffee in a grande cup (adjust sizes for your location) my “Assistance Breve.”
    Fortunately for me, I go to a shop where they were the ones to suggest buying the smaller size coffee in a huge cup to support my cream habit.

  15. i drink LIGHT roast or medium only. being a super taster makes darker in need of too much extra stuff. but i like strong. difference between strong and dark.

  16. Scotch and Milk? Hmm. Used to be a remedy for insomnia — I got the recipe in Big Spring, years ago.
    Take a tea glass and pour in a pint of milk.
    Take a bottle of Southern Comfort and pour enough into the milk so it just barely changes color.
    Drink just before bedtime.
    I can attest to one thing: it works when you’re wound up from one of those went-to-a-meeting, turned-into-a-riot, didn’t-get-hit, got-shot-over stories that used to happen, once in awhile, when oil last went bust in a big way in the Permian Basin.

  17. it’s a quote from the post, what the coffee dude in question called the drink he thought his customer was making
    figures. it’s a particularly juvenile turn of phrase i’ve been hearing an awful lot lately, and to tell you the truth, people who throw it around lightheartedly are liable to cause me to turn my goddamned hearing aids off, figuratively speaking.
    i live in the actual ghetto, and we have probably the best fucking cafe in town, with the best service. although it might be too slow for some (because the owner actually talks to you like he gives a shit), that’s exactly why i like it.

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