General Batshittery

The patient is clearly a Republican.

So, I was looking around at theCrack Den, and I foundthis little gem:

Representative Michele Bachmann (R-Minnesota) says it has not escaped
Democrats what the cost of gasoline and loss of jobs are doing to the

“This is their agenda,” Bachmann states bluntly. “I know it is hard to
believe, it’s hard to fathom — but this is ‘mission accomplished’ for
them,” she asserts. “They want Americans to take transit and move to
the inner cities. They want Americans to move to the urban core, live
in tenements, [and] take light rail to their government jobs. That’s
their vision for America.”

Bachmann predicts gasoline will rise above $5 a gallon if Barack Obama is elected president.

Now, here’s my question: Does she really believe the bullshit she’s spewing?

I mean, really. Live in tenements and take light rail to their government jobs? That’s the Democratic vision for America? When was the last time you saw that in the party platform?

Now, when you say that Republicans want to turn back the clock to the Middle Ages, control all uteri in the country, destroy what’s left of pristine environment for a few drops of oil, ignore anthropogenic climate change, keep health care a privilege of the elite, shred the Bill of Rights (except #2!), let the poor starve, start pointless and unwinnable wars, and engage in massive transfers of wealth from the lower to the upper classes, that’s not lying. Hell, that’s not even hyperbole. Those are their positions on science/sex ed, reproductive freedom, ANWR drilling, global warming, health insurance, the Constitution, wages and general welfare, “national security,” and tax policy. This is what they do. Clearly, I could go on. This is not some hidden agenda–these motherfuckers brag about it. I can’t find a single instance of a Democrat advocating forced migration to the “inner cities,” massive new light rail construction, or mandatory government jobs for everyone. 

Pure batshittery.

But does she really believe it? I know a lot of the rank-and-file do. They’ll believe any crazy-ass conspiracy you put in front of them. Bill and Hillary Clinton had Vince Foster and 6,492 other people murdered to cover up Bill’s cocaine dealing with Pablo Escobar and Hillary’s lesbian affair with the Roswell aliens? DAMN RIGHT!  The lack of evidence is just further proof that it’s true! (Oh, if you don’t believe that they’ll fall for any fucking nutty conspiracy around, check thecomments to this newspaper article. You’ll fuckin’ weep to see it.) If she believes this shit, she has no business making decisions for anyone, and should be confined to a sanatorium until she gets better–if she can. If she doesn’t believe it, then she’s a lying fucking weasel who is just trying to whip up the rubes with some of the stupidest fucking propaganda ever. Either way, she doesn’t deserve to be a representative for anyone.

Rep. Bachmann is right about one thing, though. Gas will go to five bucks a gallon. But it won’t matter who’s president.

15 thoughts on “General Batshittery

  1. Nobody could have ever guessed gas would go to $4/gal with two oil men in the White House…UNPOSSIBLE.
    And notice how they’re already playing bait-and-switch with gas prices. Now that we’ve been inoculated by $4/gal fuel, $5/gal will be the new ZOMG, and all blame will accrue to Obama.

  2. Ditto to Caliph above.
    Otherwise, I am speechless. The Unions got us Labor day and it was the Union which decided Eid would be preferable. So what’s the problem?
    Basically, there are a lot of folks who still can’t figure out that we are a pluralistic society. Orthodox Jews take the Sabbath starting Friday evening. Most Protestants take it as Sunday. Some Christian Churches take it on Saturday. And I’m just talking about the differences in Judaeo-Christian tradition.
    Admittedly, as boss it is hard to deal with all the differences. But that is a part of reality, folks.
    Drinking a Margarita on May 5th doesn’t make you Mexican. It just makes you drunk.

  3. Does she believe it? As one of her constituents*, I think I can safely say, Yes, she does. Remember, she’s the Bush-huggin’, “hot for God**,” young-earth creationist from a heavily white, older, affluent, suburban district.
    (*And can I just say, why the f!@# can’t the MN DFL (that’s what we call Democrats up here) get a decent candidate to run against her? Sure, it’s an uphill climb (see above), but first Patty Wetterling (nice person, LAME campaigner) and now Elwin Tinklenberg (jerk with probable negative name recognition)? Please!)
    (** See this:

  4. The real news story is that she was able to issue a statement while cradling Bush’s testicles in her mouth.

  5. This city-mouse-country-mouse “I’m a real person with real values, you’re a citified fagg*t” crap makes me crazy. Live wherever and however you want, I don’t give a fuck, just stop making this the Authenticity Olympics because everybody loses that game.

  6. Also, the mental picture of Bill sitting at a table with Pablo as played by Vinnie Chase from “Entourage” talking about coke trafficking has been making me giggle all morning.

  7. I wonder if she’s realized that as a Congresscritter she is the government… the ultimate government job… shouldn’t she resign or something.

  8. shouldn’t she resign or something
    what a lovely dream that would be…

  9. “They want Americans to take transit and move to the inner cities. They want Americans to move to the urban core, live in tenements, [and] take light rail to their government jobs.
    Damn. That sounds like fucking Utopia to me. But then again, I’m not an American, let alone a Democrat. I live in the fucking urban core and love it, and I’d give two of my teeth to have light rail — or better yet, actual streetcars — here instead of just the crappy-ass buses, becauseI don’t fucking drive and I like it that way, and compared to streetcars on all accounts except sink cost, buses suck ass. Hell, I’m so hardcore, I commute by Doc Marten Express half the time.
    I’m also a foul-mouthed, democratic socialist, hairy-legged radical feminist, childfree, bisexual atheist. BOOGA-BOOGA, Michelle Bachman!!

  10. But of course, in the USA, we’ve systematically dismantled Amtrak – limiting when and where you can use it to get to.
    Here in Missouri, there is a passenger rail between Kansas City and St Louis. And there is so much work trying to dismantle it. After all, Interstate 70 goes exactly the same way. And I-70 has traffic above its capacity. Drivers along I-70 stop and buy gasoline.
    There also used to be a north-south line that crossed the above rail (along Highway 63 through Columbia). But that was dismanteled as unprofitable. I wonder what it could do now !

  11. If only fucking Judge Doom hadn’t been able to buy up the Red Car, none of this would have happened. Why did you fail us, Eddie Valiant and Roger Rabbit?

  12. She’s partially right…I do want all recipients of WingNut Welfare, fundies, racists, and war profiteers to lose all their cash and be forced to live in tenements…

  13. Bachmann is the same idiotic crotchwaffle who thinks it’s a good thing that some people need to work two or more jobs just to get by. That she could follow that with some stupid shit like this comes as absolutely no surprise.

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