The Pain Train’s comin’ for you, GOP! Whoo whoo!
There’s something I’m really, really hoping for tonight.
I hope that the football game runs long. Really long. So long that NBC has to cut away from it to show McCain’s speech in Minnesota.
Will there be a repetition of the infamousHeidi incident? Not in New York or DC, as NFL contracts now require that broadcasters show games to their conclusions in their home markets. But what about the rest of the country? Wouldn’t it be great if NBC (the network, by the way, responsible for the aforementioned incident) cut away from the final few minutes of tonight’s NFL season opener to cover Oldy McBoring’s speech to the moribund GOP? Wouldn’t that begreat? Man, lots of people would be pissed at McCain! In addition to the NBC switchboards being melted by overuse, the RNC would see a lot of heat, as well. It’s been a long year without football, as far as NFL fans are concerned, and they’d probably despise missing even a minute of the season opener.
Also, I’d be delighted because, no matter what happens, it’s gonna piss off the NFL team owners. They want McCain to win, for sure. But they also want maximum exposure for their product, with no negative attention from cutting the broadcast short. So, whenever NFL team owners are unhappy, I’m delighted. NFL owners are some of the biggest shitheads in the country.
Especially you, Tom Benson. You dancin’ douche.
So come on, Giants and Washington. Play dirty. Get lots of penalties. Have a 20-minute brawl in the third quarter. Dive like fuckin’ soccer players, so that they have to bring out the cart to take your healthy, faking ass off the field. And Jeebus, if you’re listening, we’d appreciate some technical difficulties to delay the start of the game–satellite linkup problems or the like, alright? Nothing that would cause any harm to people or their homes.
It’ll be great.