For the wages of sin is cheesy electric signage.
Today’s Fundie Insanity is brought to us courtesy of alert reader Hell Kat, who sends the following fromSalon’s Broadsheet.
Unless you failed all summer long to turn on the radio, watch
television or step foot outside of your apartment, I shouldn’t have to
explain that a sign displayed outside of Havens Corners Church in
Blacklick, Ohio, reading, “I kissed a girl and I liked it, then I went
to Hell” is an attack on Katy Perry’s infectious single “I Kissed a
Girl.” (A sampling of the lyrics for cave dwellers: “I kissed a girl
and I liked it/ The taste of her cherry ChapStick/ I kissed a girl just
to try it/ I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it.”)
Pastor David Allison explained that the sign was meant as a
warning to teens: “If anyone’s seen the video and understands how lewd
and suggestive the video is for this song, that is not something young
people should go toward.” Note that for all her talk, Katy Perry does
not actually kiss a girl in the music video for the song.
Now, I’m not prepared to passionately defend the song. Its
burlesque beat has many a time pulled me to the dance floor, but I
don’t exactly findthe lyrics
about faux same-sex experimentation amid defensive heterosexuality, you
know, politically inspiring or even inoffensive. In fact, I would find
the song much more enjoyable with bland lyrics along the lines of “I
ate a pie and I liked it/ The taste of cher-ry fill-ing.” That way I
could enjoy the pop fizz minus the, to my palette, subtle hetero-sexist
But, of course, the folks behind the church sign find the song to
be an outrageous endorsement of homosexuality. They would find any
lyrics short of threatening eternal damnation for kissing a girl —
even if it’s just an “innocent” and “experimental game” —
unacceptable. Gosh, just imagine the circle of hell they reserve for
girls who kiss girls because they actuallylike girls.
That’s some mighty fine pastorin’ there, David Allison. Timely, too. I mean, shit. It only took you all summer to think of that witty riposte? Schmuck.
My first thought when I saw that picture? I wasn’t aware that Hell had a work-release program for damned souls to make church signs.
Oh, and even money says that Pastor Allison has a campaign to get the name of his town changed.