An Open Letter to Sixty Years in the Future


I’m talkin’ to you, future.

Dear Future:

Hi there. How are things? Here’s hoping the America of 2068 is just, reasonably peaceful, and equitably prosperous. 

But enough with the pleasantries. I write to you today with a dire warning from your past.

You see, things are about to get pretty bad for us. And, by “pretty bad,” I mean “downright shitty.”Check this shit out, if you need to see what I mean. We will be dealing with oil shocks, financial crises brought about by irresponsible speculation and stupid, shitty loans, and an international environment that will be very hostile to us because of our goddamn idiotic war and this economic downturn that will affect other countries as well as our own.

About that economic trouble–here’s what you need to keep in mind–it didn’t have to happen. 

That’s right. This shit is our own doing. You see, about ninety years in our past, we had some similar problems: economic bubbles, huge disparities in wealth and income, malfeasance and incompetence by financiers and government officials, and the greed of the wealthy who just wanted more. After a brief, heady period of the rich getting richer, the entire system caved in on itself, starting in 1929. Now, the exact causes and circumstances of our looming problem and the Great Depression eight decades ago are not one hundred percent similar, of course. But the point is that we’ve seen this sort of thing before. And, during and after that horrible, horrible period, some smart people put in lots of rules and regulations that would guard against a repeat of said economic collapse.

The businesspeople at the time hated those rules, and agitated against them. However, the rules were there for their own good. We didn’t become a socialist society; far from it. FDR, with his New Deal and new regulations, wanted to protect capitalism (and capitalists) against their worst excesses, thereby saving millions of ordinary people the agonies of poverty and deprivation when those capitalists inevitably stole too much for their own (and everybody else’s) good.

Now we get to an interesting part of the tale: The rules and regulations worked. In fact, they worked so well, people began to assume (with such assumptions strongly encouraged by the same rich cocksuckers who were in large part responsible for the Great Depression) that the prosperity achieved under those rules had been achievedin spite of them. So, for eighty years, while there were minor shocks to the country’s economy, there were no major disruptions. And, during that time, those rich cocksuckers and their water-carriers in the Republican Party chipped away at the regulatory framework whenever they could. “These unnecessary regulations are impeding growth!” they cried. “These laws made sense in the 1930’s, but things are different now!” they crowed. “Our system is self-correcting, and this is a New Economy that would thrive with fewer regulations–ideally none!” they yammered.

And, slowly, the rules and regulations went away. 

What happened next, of course, was as predictable as the phases of the Moon.

Without regulations in place to tell financiers that they shouldn’t make shitty, risky loans, those loans were made. Unsurprisingly, a lot of those loans could not be paid back. Unfortunately, lots of securities were bought (again, by the rich cocksuckers looking to steal a little more) based on those loans. And, since those rich pricks can’t handle the risk they praise so highly, they insured those securities. 

Well, insuring shit means that you get shit back.

And now we’re going to pay for our shortsightedness. And, by “we,” I mean “the taxpayers of the United States of America.” The rich cocksuckers responsible for this mess? Shit, they’ve already made their fortunes. And they’ve ensured, by helping their buttboys in the GOP get into and stay in power, that they won’t pay taxes or be held accountable for what they’ve done. That’s the beauty of complicated crime–if you’re rich enough, you can make it too hard to follow. Or, if you’re really rich, you can get illegal shit made legal by government fiat. Or, if you’re buddy-buddy with the cocksucking Republicans in charge, you can just get pardoned. Then it’s off to a cushy lobbying job, or just relaxing in one of your dozen mansions while the peasantry clean up after your fucking mess.

So we’re in for some tough times. But we’ll pull through. It’s what people always do. We have a historical template for electing more-or-less liberal leaders after the conservative free-market worshipers have fucked us seven ways from Sunday. And, in all likelihood, we’ll recover and enact similar safeguards against future goat-fuckings like the one we’re about to see.

What’s the point of all this?

It’s quite probable that, by your time, the misery of our near future will have faded from memory. And the same rich cocksuckers (actually, their future equivalents, ’cause these motherfuckers are like cockroaches–they never disappear) will be agitating for a repeal of the rules and regulations that kept them from stealing everything of value and making the economy collapse. Again. 

DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM.

They have a seductive pitch: “Oh, look, friends, if it weren’t for this meddling government, we’d all be rich! Rich!” But they don’t mean it. They needyour money to makethem even richer. Where do you think all that investment capital comes from? Your bank accounts. These cocksuckers don’t put up their own money. Hell, when shit tanks, they don’t even pay the bill. You (and, in our time, we) do, as taxpayers. All they’re engaged in is a massive transfer of a bunch of small holdings (yours & ours) to a few big ones (theirs). That’s all they want. That’s all they’ve ever wanted: Your shit. Like these pricks don’t have enough already. Don’t let it happen again. 

With deepest concern,

Jude from the past

P.S. Did you guys ever get flying cars? We’ve been promised those for years. Also, in case you haven’t heard, there used to be ice at the North and South Pole. Crazy, huh?

10 thoughts on “An Open Letter to Sixty Years in the Future

  1. Nice post Jude! Of course in the future they won’t know what those swear words mean. There will be new swear words.
    For Sh*t the word will be Bush. “Wow. We are really in the Bush aren’t we?”
    for f*cker the word will be Rover. As in “You rover! Rove you!”
    c*cksucker the word will be Republican. “Listen you Republicans, you can NOT mess with this financial system. You are not to be trusted.”

  2. On a happier note: Jude, have you readThe Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Klay (Michael Chabon)? That World’s Fair exhibit is the scene for a major turning point in the novel.

  3. I could write essays about what’s going on with this. What else is new.
    However, remember right after the great depression, there were established a multitude of financial firms whos sole job, as private entities, was to declare whether or not a company was cooking their books. To determine if they were dicey, shady or lying. Public firms to ensure other companies were being on the straight and narrow?
    Today, they call them the big 5.
    Arthur Anderson, Ernst & Young, etc etc
    And who got their offices raided 6 years ago for cooking the books of Enron. For MCI. etc.
    And they want to fucking privatize social security?
    Bang up job they’ve done so far.
    The problem with a privatized organization is they are expected to turn a profit. Same thing with the federal reserve.
    It failed. It’s going to fail. Try the other route.

  4. Exactly right Jude! I recall reading how the US used to have a major economic recession/depression approximately every 20 yrs back in the 1800’s and of course through the 1920’s. Complete with many bank failures (with NO FDIC insurance of course, because the ‘balancing hand of the Free Market’ would solve any problems), so — IF you guessed wrong as to where to deposit your money — well, better luck next life-time. And of course there was none of that ‘Commie stuff’ like SSI, unemployment compensation, welfare, food stamps, etc… you and your family were just out on the street, pal.

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