Clutching At Straws


The Republican motto. With apologies to Mr. Watterson.

First, let’s look at some of the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth inFreeperville, shall we?

Rope-a-dope. McCain has one chance, a surge of his own at the end.
Sarah will present herself to the American people in a forum where she
can’t be easily edited.

–new comment–

how about this scenario,
Gov. Palin has in fact been acting or doing a Tina Fey in reverse, she
is in fact very articulate and in command of the issues from past
debates I have seen her do, it has all been a ploy to make her appear
an airhead, today she is suddently transformed in front of a massive
American audience, into something else, would this translate into a
media bias? I think it will.

Scenario 2.
Our economy is truly on the verge of collapse that would make the collapse in the 1920 dwarf by comparison.
in this week that issue is for all practical purposes removed, and the market and financial institutions rebound.
Mccain embarks on a truly informative campaing for the following weeks
naming names and making connections to the Obama campaign no lies nor
innuendos but facts, how does the media hide those facts?

And what does this have to do with the price of tea in China, you ask? Let me explain.

This summer, I read Antony Beevor’sThe Fall of Berlin 1945. Yeah. Light reading, I know. Also, I’m suspending Godwin’s Law for this post. I can do that because I am aware of all Internet traditions. 

I’d been meaning to get to the book for a couple of years. Well, I shouldn’t have waited. It’s a hell of a book. Recommend it to anyone who thinks that they’d like to see the world burn–it’s different when it’s actually happening. Anyway, even at the very end of the war, when there was no hope of victory, the Germans fought on like devils. And the costs on both sides were staggering.

A good portion of the book takes place inside theFührerbunker under the Reich Chancellery. There, during the final months of the war, Hitler absolutely lost it. Even by his standards. If you want to see an excellent film portrayal of those days, check outDownfall, starring Bruno Ganz. That is one stunning performance. While holed up in his bunker, with the Russians nearing his capital, Hitler was convinced that Generals Wenck and Steiner would crush the advancing Soviet armies in a massive pincer attack–a kesselschlacht to end all kesselschlachten. 

The only problem was that these army groups upon which Hitler was counting were largely fictional. Yes, Wenck and Steiner were in charge of armed units, but they could in now way match up to the massive Soviet army groups bearing down on Berlin. They did not have the armor, artillery, or ammunition (to say nothing of air support) to make a dent in the Red Army. Hitler, however, was convinced that the salvation of the Reich lay in the inevitable (in his mind) attack.

Why do I mention all of this?

Because it’s amazing to watch people bullshit themselves into thinking that they still have a chance. To think that the McCain/Palin people have had their VP candidate intentionally playing off in these interviews, as part of some master plan? That’s fucking stupid. If she’s acting, she deserves an Oscar. Oh, and for the record, it’s not “gotcha” journalism to ask for the name of one newspaper. Or one Supreme Court case. If that’s a “gotcha” question, what isn’t? “What’s your name?” Shit.

There are some other fun things in that thread, too. Here, for example, is a reply to someone saying that he or she just couldn’t vote for McCain, and it’s really indicative of these people’s persecuted mind-set:

We will see what you think of the guy you helped elect 6 months from now. If FR is still up.

Really? Obama’s gonna shut down Free Republic? Why isn’t that part of his campaign platform? He’d win in a walk if he promised that. 

There are also loads of “Obama is a Marxist/Muslim/communist/socialist/terrorist/blah blah blah posts. These fools will believe anything. 

Finally, I’m going to close with the most useless advice ever. In any situation.

This would be a good time to read or re-read Atlas Shrugged.

Pretty stunning, no? That advice should be in the Fortune Cookie Of Fail. 

UPDATE: Leave it to the Internets to bring teh funny:

9 thoughts on “Clutching At Straws

  1. virgotex says:

    Heh, Jeffraham Prestonian used that exact same clip last week in his mash-up about No Gas in Nashville.

  2. Jude says:

    My favorite use of it was by Cracked.com, after the Cowboys screwed the pooch against the Giants in January.
    You can find ithere.

  3. dan mcenroe says:

    My take? The bar is actually low forBiden.

  4. pansypoo says:

    the debate is set up that she can’t look TOO stoopid. she will amaze and delight everyone on he rite. tho mcPeecker will drag the ticket down.
    might even convince a few stupids.

  5. pansypoo says:

    she will do amazingly ok and the rite will rejoice til mcPecker debates.

  6. iceblue says:

    I’m so friggin tired of this crap. She’s the one who said ‘you can ask stump the candidate questions’. So fuck her. Those were not ‘stump her’ questions. I can’t imagine what these answers tonite will be. I am embarrassed for her most of the time and disgusted the rest. I’m not sure I can make it through the next month watching these idiots (andrea mitchell and the gang) spew their shit on my TV, but like a crack addict, I can’t seem to watch anything else. Thank god I’m moving next week and will be on the road for a few days, then start my chemo and hopefully will be too sick and tired for this crap until Nov 5.

  7. leinie says:

    As I said yesterday, the structure’s been changed to favor her speaking-soundbites-version of speaking in tongues. Seriously, she makes about as much sense to me as those people writhing and spouting gibberish in a religiously induced frenzy (since I don’t speak/understand tongues. No insult intended to anyone who holds that belief.)
    The only way this goes south for her is if her Chatty Kathy string starts spouting the wrong phrase at the wrong time. I seriously see her like that – pull the string “Culture of Life”, pull the String “Earmarks Bad,” etc.

  8. Leinie, here’s to her Chatty Kathy string getting stuck and she can’t shut up and keeps spouting off all the wrong things and ends up reviled and pummeled w/expired produce and moose shit! 🙂
    Elspeth
    (is there a ‘moose’ noise in the crack van catbus? If not, what will be the designated moose noise? The camel?)

  9. Tommy T says:

    The Freepi have been moaning and caterwauling to themselves ever since I started amusing myself there. It’s always something the Dems are gonna take from them. Frankly, I’m reminded of nothing as much as a bunch of children huddled under the sheets on a sleepover, trying to scare each other.

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