The Most Unbelievable Thing You’ll Ever Read

I believe the phrase you’re looking for is “You gotta be shitting me.”

Okay, got up in the morning, looking through the news for things I missed yesterday, dah dee dah du—wait, what the fuck?

Today, with the world caught in an economic tempest that Mr.
Greenspan recently described as “the type of wrenching financial crisis
that comes along only once in a century,” his faith in derivatives
remains unshaken.

The problem is not that the contracts failed,
he says. Rather, the people using them got greedy. A lack of integrity
spawned the crisis…

Seriously? Alan Greenspan bet all of our futures on the integrity of financiers and traders? Sweet Jesus stuffed with cornbread. What the fuck? If this is true,


Can I get this fucker into a regular poker game? He’d fall for any bluff I’d make.I thought all these Republicans were hard-nosed realists–you know, the sort of people who would never count on the goodness or integrity of others. If you go on record saying that you’re counting on financial forbearance to be a trait of the most rapacious fuckers on the whole planet, you’re either a) lying or b) completely fucking stupid.

Greenspan should have to personally visit the home of everyone who’s facing foreclosure and stand there while everybody in the household kicks him in the nuts. And Andrea Mitchell should have to cover it for NBC News.

11 thoughts on “The Most Unbelievable Thing You’ll Ever Read

  1. Objectivist Fanboy #1, Mr. Alan “I Fucked Ayn Rand” Greenspan, is complaining about unalloyed greed on Wall Street?
    I don’t believe it.

  2. “Sweet Jesus stuffed with cornbread.” = best line of the day WIN!
    This isn’t just a matter of trusting the fox to watch the henhouse, this is a case of Farmer Greenspan slipping the hens rufies, dolling them up in lingerie and dressing himself and his friends in furry fox costumes, downing all kinds of performance enhancing meds and molesting the hens until they had to be euthanized. Asshole of assholes!!! What the fuh-hell??!?!
    Greenspan = Gordon Gecko’s Retarded Cousin, just as ruthless, but sadly given a pass by most folks.

  3. as caliph mentioned above, Greenspan lived in Ayn Rand’s fantasy world for so long he believed that it was real.

  4. The photo reminds me of my all-time favorite Mad magazine joke. It’s in a parody of “Star Trek.” The Enterprise is under attack by the Klingons or someone, and during the emergency, Kirk tells Spock, “If you need me, I’ll be in the men’s room.” Spock replies, “The men’s room? I can’t believe my ears.” Kirk responds, “I can’t believe your ears either, Mr. Spock.”

  5. Republicans were hard-nosed realists
    Actually, it was New Deal liberals and Keynesian economists who were the steely-eyed realists–they correctly saw that unchecked capitalism needed to be reformed to be saved from the greed and irrationality of human nature.
    (I know you know that, but it’s fun to watch wingnut heads ‘plode when you turn their talking points against them.)

  6. oh… what will Mrs Andrea Greenspan say about all this dis’sing of her hubby?
    shame on you! Now its nothing but “the SKY HAS FALLEN” Cramer to give me objective news analysis on NBC (brought to you by GE, er, Carl’s Jr.)

  7. not to nitpick a lovely post and, yes, sweet jesus stuffed with cornbread is entering my vocabulary (? whatever you call what you always say)… but selling the derivatives as I understand (hah!) it is what lead to worldwide money meltdown– the fiendish way they were packaged, sold, traded. The people who are losing their houses were victims of a different scam run by greedy banks, who then sold their worthless mortgages to… (see above). /nitpick

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