Today on The Freeperati’s Obsession with Themselves

Tommy e-mailed me last night to say he was under the weather, couldn’t possibly compound his pain with an excursion into the Internet’s very own heart of darkness, and could I see if the cleaners had gotten my Haz-Mat suit back yet?

They hadn’t, but I found about eight rolls of plastic wrap and a hockey stick and figured that would do. Let’s head on in to see what we can see, okay?

First, from the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner:

Comedian Wanda Sykes took a sharp swipe at Rush Limbaugh at tonight’s White House Correspondent’s Dinner:

had your fair share of critics. … Rush Limbaugh said this
administration fails. … He just wants the country to fail. To me
that’s treason. He’s not saying anything different than what Osama Bin
Laden is saying. You might want to look into this, sir, because I think
Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker but he was just so strung out on
Oxycontin he missed his flight. … Rush Limbaugh, I hope the country
fails, I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a good
waterboarding, that’s what he needs.”

posted onSat May 9 22:05:46 2009


That O thought it was hilariously funny is most offensive.

But then he has no class, NONE.

posted onSat May 9 22:09:18 2009

Well, it’s good you all are here to teach us about class, right?

That ugly lesbian bitch needs to get a life.
posted onSat May 9 22:11:41 2009
(Don’t smoke the Hopium.)

Another unfunny, crude, black comedienne. I Just can’t get enough of them.

posted onSat May 9 22:13:47 2009

I hope she chokes to death on one of her fried chicken bones or watermelon rinds…slowly

posted onSun May 10 16:25:07 2009

There is a reason that stereotypes become well.. stereotypes…

posted onSun May 10 18:18:44 2009
(Satan has a new name and it is Islam)

A Dyke Called Wanda

posted onSun May 10 10:46:45 2009

A FILTH called Wanda.

posted onSun May 10 11:44:47 2009
byFudd Fan
(Pres–dent 0zer0 is a train wreck. DON’T LOOK, ETHEL!)

Not only are they classy, they’re original, too!

Posted onSat May 9 20:38:49 2009 bynuconvert

A lawyer for the Fargo-raised journalist says the change could hurt their hopes for an acquittal or a reduced sentence.

IRAN – An appeals court hearing for Roxana Saberi, the Iranian-American
journalist from Fargo, N.D., who was sentenced to eight years in prison
on spying charges, is scheduled for Sunday, two days earlier than
expected, one of her lawyers said Saturday.

The lawyer,
Abdolsamad Khoramshahi, said he had initially been told that the case
would be heard Tuesday but was later informed that a mistake had been

Although Khoramshahi said he was optimistic that Saberi
would win either an acquittal or a reduced sentence, the earlier date
could complicate Saberi’s defense by giving her second lawyer less time
to review the case.

Reza Saberi, the journalist’s father, said
last week that he had hired a new lawyer, Saleh Nikbakht, to defend
Saberi along with Khoramshahi. Reza Saberi said he made the decision
after he realized that another high-profile human rights lawyer was not
allowed to meet with Saberi in prison to sign the paperwork for her

She eventually did sign the paperwork, which would
allow her lawyers to look at her case file. But Nikbakht said Saturday
that he was informed by the court that the paper she signed had been

Nikbakht said he might not be able to defend Saberi if he was unable to read the case in time.

Well, this should be hard to spin as anything other than an unadulterated outrage, right?



ya just can’t go into some INAZI muslime dictatorship
like Iran and not expect this kind of stuff when you break their
draconian laws.

she’d a done well to watch Midnight Express every now and again

this isn’t kindergarten, and they don’t play…

posted onSat May 9 21:48:39 2009
(American Hedonist – Obama is basically Jim Jones with a teleprompter)

Exactly. The US State Dept. has been warning Americans
not to go to Iran for the last 30 years, precisely because what
happened to Sabericould happen. Some people just don’t listen.
posted onSat May 9 22:03:17 2009
(I wouldn’t know most “American Idol” winners if I tripped over them!)

One of the Freepi attempts to stop the lemmings going off the cliff of “she asked for it:”


The US State Dept. has been warning Americans
not to go to Iran for the last 30 years, precisely because what
happened to Saberi could happen”

Saberi was living in Iran as an Iranian citizen and had an Iranian
passport. Not travelling as an American on an American passport.

posted onSun May 10 08:07:39 2009
( Khomeini promised change too // Hail, Chairman O)

And they listen to one of their own about as well as they listen to anyone else:


Well, then, it’s an internal affair of Iran.

posted onSun May 10 09:28:32 2009
(I wouldn’t know most “American Idol” winners if I tripped over them!)
She can’t have it both ways. She haddual
citizenship. Why she didn’t renounce her Iranian citizenship I don’t
know, but the American part of her should have realized thatas an American citizen, travelling to Iran was a reallydumb
idea. She’s no smarter than some nitwit you read about on Drudge who
jumps into a bear exhibit at the zoo and gets mauled. Now poor Uncle
Sam has to worry about getting this fool out. Maybe if she does wind up
in an Iranaian prison, it will be an object lesson to other Americans
not to go there!
posted onSun May 10 18:24:17 2009
(I wouldn’t know most “American Idol” winners if I tripped over them!)

Yes. It would certainly be worth an innocent journalist’s life to prove your point. That’s not narcissistic or sick or anything AT ALL.

Next up … threesomes!

Threesome Marriages (Samesex “Marriage” ushers in Polyamory and Polygamy)

The Daily Beast ^

| May 7, 2009
| Abby Ellin

Posted onSat May 9 00:13:24 2009 by2ndDivisionVet

First came traditional marriage. Then, gay marriage. Now, there’s a
movement combining both—simultaneously. Abby Ellin visits the next
frontier of nuptials: the “triad.”

Less than 18 months ago,
Sasha Lessin and Janet Kira Lessin gathered before their friends near
their home in Maui, and proclaimed their love for one another. Nothing
unusual about that—Sasha, 68, and Janet, 55—were legally married in
2000. Rather, this public commitment ceremony was designed to also bind
them to Shivaya, their new 60-something “husband.” Says Sasha: “I want
to walk down the street hand in hand in hand in hand and live together
openly and proclaim our relationship. But also to have all those
survivor and visitation rights and tax breaks and everything like

Maine this week became the fifth state, and the fourth
in New England, to legalize gay marriage, provoking yet another
national debate about same-sex unions. The Lessins’ advocacy group, the
Maui-based World Polyamory Association, is pushing for the next
frontier of less-traditional codified relationships. This community has
even come up with a name for what the rest of the world generally would
call a committed threesome: the “triad.”

Unlike open marriages
and the swinger days of the 1960s and 1970s, these unions are not about
sex with multiple outside partners. Nor are they relationships where
one person is involved with two others, who are not involved with each
other, a la actress Tilda Swinton. That’s closer to bigamy. Instead,
triads—”triangular triads,” to use precise polyamorous jargon—demand
that all three parties have full relationships, including sexual, with
each other. In the Lessins case, that can be varying pairs but, as
Sasha, a psychologist, puts it, “Janet loves it when she gets a double

The jokes write themselves:

There’s no putting this cat back in the bag.

We’re going to need a societal reboot.

posted onSat May 9 00:15:02 2009

Then, in the department of “we all knew this one was coming:”

Can I marry my guns?
posted onSat May 9 00:21:31 2009

Hey, love the one you’re with, far as I’m concerned, pal.

Marraige license, $25

Dog license, $100

Do the math.

posted onSat May 9 00:28:44 2009

I’ll do the math after you do the spelling and punctuation.

>>>these unions are not about sex with
multiple outside partners. Nor are they relationships where one person
is involved with two others<<<

Why not? Once you make the argument that any relationship between
consenting adults that they call marriage is, indeed, a marriage,
what’s to stop it? Why not a brother and a sister, or a mother and a
son, or a father and a granddaughter? Why not a hive? It works for the
mole rats. Why not a lease – you can marry me for a certain period of
time, then bring it back to the showroom and trade it in for a newer
model. How about marriage for a night – get the benefits now, then
forego the benefits at the end of the contractural period.

And I haven’t even gotten into the science-fiction scenarios – how
about a woman and her dead husband’s collection of frozen sperm? They
can still make a family together – and maybe his will indicates that as
long as his sperm is viable, so is the marriage. How about a man and
his Japanese newscaster robot? Are you married if you agree to donate
sperm for conception of a child but agree not to be involved in the
raising of the child? Whose decision will be paramount in the custody
case – the court or the people involved?

In any case, a society that allows gay marriage has no choice but
accept shari’a law and allow an Islamic man his multiple wives.

To put in the delicate words of Bender: “Yep, we’re boned.”

posted onSat May 9 01:11:41 2009

We have a whole category on this site for gay marriage and we haven’t thought about this half as much as this Freeper has. What about if you donate your frozen sperm to your Japanese newscaster robot’s Muslim dog which is married to its second cousin, huh? What about THAT?!

Earlier in the thread a dude lists every state and country where cousins are allowed to marry, I suppose as an itinerary for the next National Review cruise where … oh, fuck it, it’s too easy.

I’d forgotten how much fun they are. Please, please get well soon, Tommy. To speed along your recovery, have a LONGCAT:


6 thoughts on “Today on The Freeperati’s Obsession with Themselves

  1. While I may agree that being a journalist in Iran is not the safest of jobs, I am totally flaberghasted with the implication that we desert her.
    What have you done for me today?
    What about taking risks for your country? (Reporting on Iran is a treasure of information for the USA). What about the military insistence in leaving no comrade behind (or did I forget that she has 2 X chromosomes?)?

  2. The Freepi need to be humanely euthanized…something I must say nicer than they would do to us “libruls” given the chance.

  3. The Freepi are always so frikkin’ pissed off that someone pissed in their Wheaties…but they don’t even stop to notice THEY are the ones that did so!

  4. You know, going over there ought to qualify as “above and beyond.”

  5. You know, I actually think that FR is a good thing.
    First, its existence is another testament to intellectual stagnation among conservatives. The 1936 Presidential election was the largest landslide ever – because the R’s had thought FDR’s win in ’32 was due to them not being conservative enough. That same mentality is what is proffered by FR, Limbaugh, Bachmann, et al. and will be important in 2012.
    Second, it is entertaining. These are the same people that made up the 101st Keyboardists in 2004. The power they wield only extends to the boundaries of Republicanism, so it is fairly harmless to the country as whole.
    Finally, they have a right to believe what they want. As a liberal, one of the values I hold most dear is the idea that reasoned debate and intellectual rigor is the backbone of a healthy society. Now, I know that “reasoned” might be a stretch with these folks, but they serve a principle, whether they realize it or not.
    Look, I know we mostly get offended about their absolutist, uncaring, and poorly formed arguments. But to be honest, I read FR daily, and the VAST majority of what takes place is no worse than the harmless stammering of 5 year-olds with positions that never really go anywhere. It rarely addresses any relevant policies or issues, mostly it demonizes what the majority of the country believes, or makes up fantasy conflict. War on Christmas. Bigamy. He will Take Our Guns. The U.N. will be a One World Gov’t. They marginalize themselves, so hey, who am I to not read and laugh?

Comments are closed.