Quitting Time Booster Shot


Welcome back to the QTBS, where we, like the Russians, identify talent early…

– The kid in the picture was in a home depot store when the Midget and I were picking up some supplies. His father was chewing tobacco and swallowing the juice while the kid jumped from mower to mower, screaming. When he landed on the orange one, he screamed about how it matched his hair. Dad ignored him while the Mom looked around as if to say, “He’s not mine. Please don’t let him hit me again.” Not to rip on anyone’s parenting, but when you’re kid’s got a mohawk that’sHusqvarna orange, maybe it’s a sign this kid will need some extra attention.

– Speaking of the Midget, she got sick this week with a slight fever that caused the
daycare to send her home. Upon hearing that she was being sent home
early, she explained, “No. Daddy comes after I have snack.” They said,
no, you need to go home because you’ve got some germies, to which she
replied, “NO. I get SNACK before I go HOME.” Translation: “You fuckers
aren’t screwing me out of my snack.” Now I no longer need to take a
paternity test…

– Speaking of families, this Web site is worth its weight in gold. Enjoy the awkwardness…

– I bought a pack of undershirts yesterday that had the selling point of “Now in a RESEALABLE BAG!” How is that a marketing point? Does anyone keep their undershirts in a plastic bag after they open them? Is there a good secondary use for a T-shirt bag? Anyone help me out here?

Hang on Jimmy… don’t move… This is for science…

– Question: How bad is the recession killing the U.S.? Answer:We’re being shunned by Mexicans…

– Was in a Target store the other day when I noticed the place smelled like smoke. I sniffed a bit and said to the cashier, “Does it smell like smoke to you?” Without missing a beat, the kid said, “Where?” Sigh…

– If you want to watch another bad movie that keeps landing on AMC, catch Death Wish 3. For a less violent reaction to thugs, check out this lady’s response…

– And finally, on this day in 1981, Lenny Barker of the Cleveland Indians tossed a perfect game. If you like this concept, you’ll love next week’s post. I’ve been working on this for about a month…

Thanks for letting me share your air. Be back next week.


2 thoughts on “Quitting Time Booster Shot

  1. pansypoo says:

    don’t let her go to i can haz cheezburger.

  2. darrelplant says:

    T(-shirt) bag parties!

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