Wow, Matt Lauer’s doing his family proud these days:
After Monday’s show, Lauer flew off to conduct an undisclosed “big” interview. He’s piling up newsmakers, lately. Over the weekend, he sat down with Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) and his wife to ask about Craig’s gay-sex-bathroom scandal. Portions run at 7 tonight on NBC, with more Wednesday on “Today.”
In between “Today” segments, I half-joked, “Did you ask him why he’s a big liar?”
“That’s not my job,” Lauer said. “My job is to ask middle-of-the-road questions and let the audience judge for themselves.”
On the one hand, at least he’s being honest about it. “My job is to be an inoffensive pussy, even when I’m selling myself as a hard-hitting interviewer capable of handling questioning public officials on behalf of a public which does not have the access I have.” He is, after all, the morning companion for people who have nothing else to do in the a.m. and the guy following Larry Craig was probably a chef of some kind showing people how to make low-fat tartlets, I mean, nobody was exactly under the impression that this was Edward R. Murrow here.
On the other hand OH MY GOD MAN HAVE A LITTLE PRIDE. JUST A LITTLE BIT. A VERY LITTLE BIT. HAVE THE REMOTEST AMOUNT OF PRIDE THAT MIGHT ALLOW YOU TO THINK OF YOURSELF AS MORE THAN A SEMI-PRETTY AND HALFBRIGHT DOORMAT CHOSEN FOR INTERVIEWS LIKE THIS PRECISELY BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT A USELESS FAMEWHORE YOU ARE. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF THAT MUCH AT LEAST NOT EVEN BECAUSE YOU’RE A MAN. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AS A MAMMAL.
Jesus.
A.