Poor Poor Pitiful Berlusconi

Berlusconi gets fresco

Above: Silvio Berlusconi contemplates getting fresh with a fresco.

As a longtime resident of the Gret Stet of Louisiana, I’m an aficionado of political scoundrels; especially those who combine randiness, corruption and a sense of humor.Edwin Edwards, our 4 term former Governor, who is currently a guest of the Feds, was the quintessential Louisiana pol. Fast Eddie, however, was a piker compared to Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi.

Berlusconi is back on my radar screen, in part, because an Italian Court ruled that he *would* have to standtrial on corruption charges. But it was his response to the ruling that provoked this post. Upon hearing the news Berlusconi, without a trace of irony, declared that, “I’m the most persecuted man in the history of the world.”

Really? The MOST persecuted ever? Thehooker-hiring tevee tycoon and slippery politician Berlusconi? Silvio Fucking Berlusconi? Berlusconi: the greedy, grifting megalomaniac? Wow, who knew?

This quote is even funnier than the time he complimentedPresident Obama for his tan. If he resigns office, Silvio should consider a career in stand-up comedy: he could be the Rickles of the European Union. He was on a roll the other day; not only did he go on about being “persecuted” hepatted himself on the back:

“I am, and not only in my own opinion, the best prime minister who
could be found today.I believe there is
no one in history to whom I should feel inferior. Quite the opposite.”

You gotta give Berlusconi credit: he’s both a lover and a fighter. Of course, the person he loves the most is himself but his life story proves the fallacy behind the Beatles song, Can’t Buy Me Love. Money has bought Silvio “love” as well as office and, in the great tradition of one of his crookedest predecessors, Giulio Andreotti, it may well buy his way out of his current legal dilemma.

My advice to Silvio is to cancel the “I’m persecuted” pity party (too Nixonian) and stick to the bravado, it’s ballsier and infinitely more Italian. But if he wants us to feel sorry for him, here’s a possible theme song:

Yeah, I know: the segue intoCadillac Ranch doesn’t entirely fit the post. But as far as I know, Springsteen never wrote a song called Lamborghini Ranch although it sounds like a winner to me…

Finally, after finishing this post, I wrote something about Edwin Edwards at my own little corner of the net and posted some swell grapics. Check ’em out.

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