Malaka Of The Week: Jasen Bruce

This week’s entry combines malakatude with dumbassery, redneckery and xenophobia. The last word is the key since, like malaka, it’s a Greek word and this week’s malaka attacked a Greek Orthodox Priest in Tampa, Florida and not because services are too damn long either.It’s a classic case of post-9/11 paranoia:

Marine reservist Jasen Bruce was getting clothes out of the trunk
of his car Monday evening when a bearded man in a robe approached him.

That
man, a Greek Orthodox priest named Father Alexios Marakis, speaks
little English and was lost, police said. He wanted directions.

What
the priest got instead, police say, was a tire iron to the head. Then
he was chased for three blocks and pinned to the ground — as the Marine
kept a 911 operator on the phone, saying he had captured a terrorist.

Police say Bruce offered several reasons to explain his actions:

The man tried to rob him.

The man grabbed Bruce’s crotch and made an overt sexual advance in perfect English.

The
man yelled “Allahu Akbar,” Arabic for “God is great,” the same words
some witnesses said the Fort Hood shooting suspect uttered last week.

“That’s what they tell you right before they blow you up,” police say Bruce told them.

Bruce
ended up in jail, accused of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.
He was released Tuesday on $7,500 bail. Marakis ended up at the
hospital with stitches. He told the police he didn’t want to press
charges, espousing biblical forgiveness.

But Tuesday, Bruce wasn’t saying sorry.

p>It’s a sad saga of stupidity and ignorance. If Father Marakis is like most Orthodox priests, there was a big ass crucifix around his neck, which could have been a clue to Mr. Bruce that “allahu akbar” was the last thing he was likely to say. Hmm, I wonder if he called the guy a malaka instead? Probably not.

I somehow doubt that Father Marakis either groped or tried to rob Mr. Malaka: there are some people who see a terrist under every bed and beneath every robe. And the hysteria may get revvved up all over again in the wake of the Fort Hood shootings, which strikes me as more about a man cracking up than Islamic radicalism but there’s a lot of malakatude out there.

I had just finished this post when I learned that this is not the first time Jasen Bruce has beenaccused of attacking someone. In this two year old instance, it was a Tampa truck driver so obviously the terrist thing was just an excuse. Jeez, just when I was going to calll Jasen Bruce a symptom of a larger problem, it turns out that he’s a bad tempered thug as well as a misguided malaka.

Hat Tip: Jude

19 thoughts on “Malaka Of The Week: Jasen Bruce

  1. MapleStreet says:

    *) Attacks a guy with a big crucifix for being a Muslim terrorist.
    *) He’s a reservist – He’s one of the ones in Iraq and Afghanistan winning the hearts and minds of the peopled – one tire iron at a time. Why do they hate Americans?
    *) He’s giving multiple stories which don’t match the police phone tapes. Appears that to cover himself he’s lying his &*&*&* off. Kind of makes you think the military (and KBR mercenaries) might be lying about matters also.
    On the lighter side, I’m picturing them Ah-Rhabs dropping a terrorist off in Tampa without directions. I keep thinking of “The Russians are Coming! The Russians are Coming!” as they went around town:
    EEH-Mehr-Jen-Cee! Evry-Bahdy-to-geht from Street.

  2. Jude says:

    What the hell is an ass crucifix? And why is it big?
    You know, kidding aside, this douche can’t even claim that he’s traumatized from the wars. He’s never deployed overseas. He’s just another redneck bigot. Too bad he’s got so much company around the world.

  3. dr2chase says:

    It’s substantially worse than you realize.

    Father Michael Eaccarino of St. Nicholas Greek Orthodox Cathedral in Tarpon Springs says Marakis, 29, entered a Greek monastery as a teenager and became a priest nine years ago. He is studying theology at Holy Cross, a Greek Orthodox school in Massachusetts, and traveled to Tarpon Springs two months ago to work on his master’s thesis.



    Bruce is a sales manager for APS Pharmacy in Palm Harbor.

    Tarpon Springs has a boatload of Greeks in it, and the largest (?) Greek Orthodox Epiphany celebration in the Americas (a bunch of kids jump in the water to retrieve a cross after the archbishop tosses it in). Palm Harbor is the next town south of Tarpon Springs. I grew up down there, lived in PH, went to high school in TS. It’s really hard to avoid knowing what the heck Greeks look like, including Greeks with beards. You might even, perish the though, hear a little Greek.
    This is not just a little stupid, this is a lot stupid.

  4. Adrastos says:

    Thanks, dr2. I know about Tarpon Springs but thanks for the extra info. Bruce is a major asshole obviously.

  5. pansypoo says:

    PSD and rite wing fearmongering= craptaclar

  6. Whatever happened to actually conversing with someone first to determine the situation’s actual xenophobic alert level…? Y’know, I think terrorists are folks that beat up decent people for NO GOOD REASON, so since Bruce has proven himself such a person (and as Bruce is not ‘decent people’), I can has trip to Floreeda to beat him up w/tire iron? Plskthxbai!
    Malaka isn’t bad enough for him.

  7. LordAsmodeus says:

    I guess no one told this joker that having darker skin and sporting a beard does not automatically make you a terrorist. I’m sure that Palm Harbor is the central target of Al Qaeda in America. Of course, if a terrorist gets lost in a city, he will generally go up to someone and discreetly ask for directions to the nearest government office. Kinda like Chekov asking the cop for directions to the “nuclear wessels”…
    This guy is a tool, and has been brought up on assault charges before. He obviously didn’t learn his lesson last time, and needs to be sent to the big house, where he will learn that he’s not the baddest person on the block.

  8. patrick says:

    This is a case of red-neckery and ignorance for certain…
    BUT THIS MORON IS A ROID HEAD PSYCHO – THAT IS WHY HE ACTED OUT.

  9. Marco says:

    Malakatude of the nth degree. I take it that this was a no contest Malaka of the Week award.

  10. Adrastos says:

    Absolutely, Marco. This guy deserves to have a big ass crucifix inserted up his, uh, big ass.

  11. Adrastos says:

    You’re evil, W but I quite agree.

  12. Lucky ARcher says:

    He deserved it. On 9/11/01 the Archbishop of Athens said we deserved it. As a Greek American I know what an anti-American anti-Semite he is if he doesn’t bathe, shave and wear pants unlike the priests of my youth under Iakovos. If he doesn’t speak English, he came here to spread poison. You can imagine what unnatural islamosoviet actions take place under his filthy gutter-swabbing cassock.

  13. Adrastos says:

    I don’t usually respond to trolls but I’ll make a brief exception in this case. Nobody “deserves” to be attacked by a psychopath like Jasen Bruce. This is ostensibly a civilized society and we can’t condone violence on the streets.

  14. STEVE says:

    AFTER HIS BATTERY CHARGE 2 YEARS AGO, FUNNY HOW HIS STORY CHANGES. THE TOW GUY HIT HIM WITH A CHAIN AND SLAMMED HIS HAND IN HIS CAR DOOR.FUNNY THING IT ISNT IN THE POLICE REPORT NOR DID IT HAPPEN. HE JUST MAKES THINGS UP TO MAKE HIM LOOK BETTER. TOW GUY WAS NOT CHARGED HE WAS. HE TENDS TO CHANGE WHAT HAPPENED TO MAKE HIM LOOK BETTER. I KNOW IM THE TOW GUY

  15. Sandia Blanca says:

    Don’t miss this further fact from Josh Marshall:
    “Late Update: Oh my … TPM Reader LM points out that assailant Jasen D. Bruce (or someone with the exact same name who looks an awful lot like him), in addition to bludgeoning Islamic terrorist Greek Orthodox priests, also does some (NSFW) modeling.”
    Link to Sweet Jasen’s pictures:
    http://madabouttheboys.blogspot.com/2008/10/jasen-bruce.html

  16. Adrastos says:

    The malakatude keeps on, uh, mounting. He’s also malaka bait. It gets curiouser and curiouser. Thanks for sharing that tidbit, Sandia.

  17. Vassiliki says:

    I for one, do not buy the ‘innocent lost priest’ scenario. I believe it was a ‘SEX FOR HIRE’ arrangement gone bad. In my opinion, the priest is a closeted bi-sexual or gay and arranged a ‘date’ with Jasen. I believe Jasen moonlights as a male escort. Somewhere the meeting went bad, and Jasen attacked the priest for whatever reason. Right now, I’m sure the Greek Community of Tarpon Springs, and the priest just want to put this nightmare behind them, as well as all the media hype. This whole affair will be white-washed with a nice pay-off to Jasen from the church. Churches don’t like sex scandals, especially the Greeks in Tarpon Springs! They want to believe that they’re clergy ‘walk on water’. Within the year, the priest will be deported back to Greece, and they’ll make it look like his studies were completed. They want this whole thing to disappear and be forgotten like a bad dream.

  18. TRELA says:

    Vassiliki is also a MALAKO! with the malakies you write…

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