Spiritual Adultery?

WTF is that?

Did you pray like the dickens yesterday, on the National Day of Prayer
that Barack Obama hates so much? Yeah, we forgot too. But they say
certain corners of Hell have been successfully gentrified in recent
decades, so there’s always that. Anyway, there’sanother prayer day, maybe, on May 23, and here’s the official Catalogue of Sins (PDF) that Jesus wrote on his conservative Acer PC, via theFamily Research Council.

You know, Jesus, maybe I wouldn’t have hooked up with Buddha (and it was just the ONE TIME, come on, we were on a break) if you’d put out once in a while.



5 thoughts on “Spiritual Adultery?

  1. yeah, that State and National Sins section is a doozy. They could have just shortened it to “Voting for Barack Hussein Obama,” “Not Questioning Barack Hussein Obama,”and “Being Barack Hussein Obama.”

  2. 1) I am amazed that the National Catalog of Sins is so directed at this time instead of all the other decades that have been and will be. I’m with Virgo – the National sins are all under the category of Obama.
    2) To think God shortened the list to 10 Commandments. The Talmud scholars brought the number of Commandments (could be positive things to do or not do, as opposed to don’t do the list of sins) to around 500 or 600. Now it looks like the sin list is a couple of dozen?
    3) This is really gonna make Confessional “High Tech”. Instead of the phone booths (really, who doesn’t have a cell phone nowadays), just mark your sins on the official sins list and stick into an op-scan device. The machine will calculate your sin quotient and assign the suitable number of Our Fathers and Hail Marys.

  3. “Failure of fathers to love wives
    Failure of wives to submit to husbands
    Failure of fathers to raise children in the
    nurture & admonition of the Lord
    Submitting children to Godless education
    Failure to provide children a righteous
    spiritual or material inheritance”
    Fathers to love wives? That scares me. Also, being poor is now a sin.
    “Deceitfully leading America into New
    World Order”
    Um, folks? This was George H.W. Bush’s thing.
    The document looks like a license to shoot anybody different from them. I think we should be afraid.

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