IVF isn’t just a one time process, where you show up, have some eggs
taken out, and go about your way. It requires multiple screenings with
doctors, with various meetings throughout your cycle to monitor
follicles, check for ovulation, do a retrieval, insert the fertilized
eggs, and run betas to check for pregnancy. It requires daily shots of
hormones, countless restrictions on activities, and a full-time
commitment to the procedure. To imply that the women simply weren’t
that interested, that motherhood was some sort of whim that they can
easily discard, and that they were only in it to prove they could get
pregnant, or that they only wanted “designer,” perfect babies, is
offensive not just to anyone who has struggled to conceive, but to
women in general.
But it plays perfectly with conservative crowd, who ceaselessly push
the image of the fickle woman who can’t make a decision on her own.
The one who, if left to her own devices would suddenly decide at 7
months pregnant that she was tired of carrying a child and didn’t want
to be a mom, and would go out and get an abortion if it were easily
available so she could have adrink and go to a concert.
Warning at the source: articles about stupid bitches merrily aborting their babies because they weren’t “perfect” or because they didn’t feel like having twins or because they were just stupid, stupid, stupid bitches may cause you to throw things. Make sure your immediate area is free of breakables and pets before reading the whole thing, but do read the whole thing.
Here’s what I don’t get about these assholes who write this bullshit. Doesn’t anybody in the newsroom read this shit and go, erm, dude, I had this, or a friend had this, or a relative had this, and until you’ve had four people’s hands up one of your orifices in a day and a half, until you’ve been shot up with hormones and given drugs that make you drowsy and then been told to cut back on caffeine, until you’re covered in bruises such that you’re wearing long sleeves in July so your bosses won’t think you’re a heroin addict, until your body and your equilibrium are so wrecked it takes you a year to get back to normal afterward, SHUT THE FUCK UP? How does this stuff get through editing? I was told print had standards.
As if IVF is something you do on a whim. Boys, you know that “turn your head and cough” maneuver you like to bitch so much about? Try it every day for six weeks. By nurses you nickname “ham hands” who life you about how you shouldn’t be stressed out because that’s bad for the baby you can’t have. It can cost, with insurance, thousands of dollars, and without? Tens of thousands. The infertility Internet (and I don’t recommend it, mind you, it’s full of pink message boards and lovely but completely insane people) alerted me once to a T-shirt that says “my parents spent my college fund making me.”
(There’s also anAWESOME greeting card that reads “I’m sorry getting pregnant has been so tough for you. Have you thought about becoming a crack whore?” I’ve bought that for friends.)
Is there some horrible woman somewhere who we could cite and shame who merrily aborted her IVF baby because she changed her mind or didn’t like the color of her nail polish that day or some shit? Probably. There are all kinds of assholes out there. But before we glibly dismissed all women as stupid, selfish whores in those news stories, possibly someone needed to speak up and say, um, you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.