What Would Jesus Hit?

I recently sawThe Bronx Is Burning on DVD. It’s an account of all the shit that was going down in Noo Yawk in 1977: the Koch-Cuomo-Beame-Abzug Mayoral race; the Son of Sam killings and the wild ride the New York Yankees had on the way to winning the World Series.

Since ESPN aired the mini-series, the Yankees are the focus of the drama; proving once again that truth is stranger than fiction. John Turturro has long specialized in playing assholes and he really brought it as baseball genius/real life idiot Billy Martin. Oliver Platt is equally awesome as George Steinbrenner in his malakatudinous prime.

That was a long introduction to this hilarious clip that features the malaprop boys aka Joe Grifasi as Yogi Berra and Leonard Robinson as Mickey Rivers:

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8 thoughts on “What Would Jesus Hit?

  1. joejoejoe says:

    You gotta bat Jesus three!

  2. liprap says:

    The Bronx is Burning is a good book, too. I love Sparky Lyle’sThe Bronx Zoo as well.

  3. Doc says:

    I’m with liprap. I’ve read that book every summer since I bought it. The guy is an amazing writer and the book goes into more detail on the political stuff and the Son of Sam.

  4. MichaelF says:

    Jesus wouldn’t have to steal signs thanks to His foreknowledge, but would he tell his teammates what pitch was coming?

  5. Adrastos says:

    He’d bat a t’ousand.

  6. liprap says:

    Also, Jesus would bat, but Moses would manage. I can picture Moses pulling a Lou Piniella-esque red ass tantrum and striking a base in anger, thus making it gush water and cause an early cancellation of crucial games.

  7. joejoejoe says:

    Maybe Jesus wouldn’t hit for power even though he could and instead would always be sacrifice bunting.

  8. Adrastos says:

    Jesus would do whatever was best for the team. I see him pitching and winning every game. Buddha could catch…

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