The Jersey Tease Is Over

It looks likeGov. Fat Fuck is going to stay in Trenton, which means all the satirists are weeping bitter, albeit crocodile, tears. I know I am. No more Sal Bonpansiero or Tony Soprano jokes. Woe is me.

Josh Marshall has an interesting take on what this means for Roger Ailes and establishment Goopers:

Because Christie is in a line of earlier candidates like Rudy Giuliani, who was not only also a Murdoch darling but also the product of the imagination of a certain kind of coastal, big donor Republicanism. To put it bluntly, as the thinking goes in these folks minds, wouldn’t the Republican party be evenmore awesome if it didn’t have all these bible-thumpers and Southern crackers? It could be even better just focusing on tax cutting and just kicking ass in general — especially unions and other whiners. In other words, like Rudy or this new guy Chris Christie.

It’s not that there’s not a parallel kind of Democrat who pines for just being able to found tech companies, chill with our gay friends and not have to get so jammed up over all this regulation and class warfare stuff. But let’s just all be honest and admit that Chris Christie is making a very smart move today (as sad as I am personally about it) since a pro-civil union, global warming believing, sharia-loving, non-Mexican hating New Jersey governor just ain’t gonna survive first contact with the GOP nominating process.

Remember, the Christie boomlet was always heavily, heavily, heavily driven by a group of big donors, the big money folks — a certain kind of big money folks. These aren’t the old school Republicans who might have backed a Romney type in the old days or maybe a Dole or Dick Nixon. The Rudy/Christie model, in its own way, is as new as Michele Bachmann Republicans, just of a very different kind.

The Mayor Combover/Gov Fat Fuck model is a loser with GOP primary voters. But it wouldn’t work in the general election either: I am convinced that very few Americans want an unrepentant prick as their Oval One. Those who run the so-called Murdoch primary, should bear this in mind. It’s why I’m surprised they haven’t turned to Huck. He may be a bible-thumper but he’s their employee. Plus, he’s not a prick.

Time for Rupert and Roger to go back to the drawing board.

10 thoughts on “The Jersey Tease Is Over

  1. Gee, maybe Hank Jr. will jump into the race to fill the massive void left by the fake tough-guy from Jersey.
    The wingnuts sure do fall in love with their daddy figures and tough-talkers. They’re looking for the Ronald Reagan/John Wayne who never existed. Christie is as big an actor (fraud) as down-home Fred Thompson and badass groper Arnold Swartzenasshole.
    Oh, and Adrastos, Huck is as big a fucking fraud as the rest. When it comes down to the (wing)nut cutting, it’s about money, power and influence. FOX News rules his world. Just look at how bible-humpers worship the money lenders in the place of worship that is Wall Street.
    They only CLAIM to worship a poor, generous, humble, and peaceful motherfucker wrongly executed by the (Roman) state, and yet they cheer on all state executions as righteous, they roar for denial of health care to fellow citizens and they scorn basic human rights. Assholes, all.

  2. Oops. Let’s try that again.
    [[Remember, the Christie boomlet was always heavily, heavily, heavily driven by a group of big donors, the big money folks — a certain kind of big money folks.]]
    Don’t forget the Village, Josh.
    * * *

  3. They were begging him to run on Morning Joe. Mika purred at the mention of his name.
    When that douchebag Scarborough started babbling on about what a breath of fresh air Chris Christie would bring to the “debate,” I KNEW the corporate twats were lining up behind Fatty McToughguy. Morning Joe is the place to go to learn the consensus from the twats on Wall Street.
    But Christie knows his condition and eventual fate. He’d stroke out or vapor lock sometime grueling campaign, and photo of this big, badass Sopranos wanna-be — laying on a stage sucking on his asthma inhaler — is about as effective campaign shot as that time Bob Dole fell off the fucking stage.

  4. Adrastos:
    Not to be a noodge, but…WTF? Very few Americans want an unrepentant prick as their Oval One? Doth mine eyes deceive me? If memory serves, Our Fellow Citizens RE-elected an exceedingly unrepentant prick in 2004, and they knew exactly what they were getting. Being a roaring, screaming anal orifice has never really posed a barrier to the White House (or any other elected office), provided you can convince enough fools that you share their concerns.

  5. Oh. I get it. Because he’soverweight.
    I forgot that it is funny to point fingers and laugh at the fat kids when they’re “not on our side.” Gotta love that locker-room talk.
    Americans would love an unrepentant prick in the White House, because our culture currently prefers talk to walk, no matter how many people are suffering.

  6. @danielX: Bush’s supporters didn’t think he was a prick even though he was one. There are people who still *love* W and think he’s charming.
    @Pat: Christie’s a big boy and even said he didn’t mind the jokes as opposed to the pundits who took his weight as a symbol of something bigger. Blah, blah.

  7. Yeah, I recognize the defensive posture of someone who “doesn’t mind the jokes,” too. Gotta cope with the locker-room somehow, right? Gotta demonstrate that thick skin.
    What he truly represents isn’t a big mouth or prick attitude for the White House, he represents an old-line Yankee Republicanism that is dying off in the face of the Fire-Eaters currently taking over that party like it was 1859.
    They want him in this race because theyknow the low enthusiasm for Romney is going to leave no counterweight to what is going to happen when the Southern states start going to the primaries, abandoning the Cain-as-glamour choice, and start lining up behind Perry like we all know they’re gonna.

  8. Am I the only one that thinks Christie reminds of the Boss on the Dukes of Hazard minus the charming accent? I just can’t get past the image of I’m the one in power and will do what I please including using my position for self interests.

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