What are your teeth like?
I ask because I had a visit to the dentist last week. A visit to the dentist nearly always means a lecture about how lousy my teeth are. I know they’re lousy. I’ve had them for decades. Several dentists have confirmed that they suck. I had braces for three years to correct buck teeth that could open a soda bottle, I need four bridges for molars that never grew in, I had a botched root canal abscess once, I apparently grind my teeth in my sleep and despite eating less candy now than I ever have in my life, I still get cavities like a lollipop-sucking little kid. Also I cannot do any teeth-whitening things because the resulting shooting/stabbing pain makes me want to cut my own head off, and all those whitening strip commercials can just suck it.
So if you’re one of those genetic freaks who never had a single cavity ever, tell me. So I can hate you.
A.