Malaka Of The Week: John Boehner

I don’t have to recite chapter and verse on this one, you know why he’s won
the malakatude crown of thorns. Speakers-even strong ones-all eventually lose
control of their caucus. Boner, however, *never* had control over his, and it
turns out he has no influence with them either. He also doesn’t know how to
count votes. I have never in a lifetime of following politics seen an important
vote, announced, scheduled, and withdrawn in a 24 hour period. Never.

It’s hard to see how John of Orange can survive this public
at the hand of the teawads in the GOP caucus. Unfortunately,
that weasel Eric Cantor is just as bad and is unlikely to unite the fractious
House Republicans so that the nation’s business can get done.

The message to Democrats in all this is a simple one: get out and vote in
off-year elections so that 1994 and 2010 will not be repeated. Unfortunately,
losing so many ledges in 2010 has given the GOP an advantage in the House via
the dark magic of Gerrymandering.

I saw Louisiana Congressman Bill Cassidy on WWL-TV this morning. He’s the
man from Red Stick so I was surprised that they didn’t interview our local
wingnut Congressman, Steve Scalise. Cassidy seems to be planning a run against
the eternally vulnerable Senator Mary Landrieu in 2014. Cassidy
blamed-surprise, surprise-Obama for Boner’s defeat at the hands of his own
caucus, which is crazy but typical.

Boehner’s Plan B tuned out to be as artistically successful as Ed Wood’s Plan 9 from Outer Space as well as equally
mockworthy. That’s why the lame duck (?) Speaker of the House is malaka of the

7 thoughts on “Malaka Of The Week: John Boehner

  1. thebewilderness says:

    I had been thinking that he would lose his giant enormous rilly rilly big gavel over this. Then it occurred to me that he is exactly the dupe the corrupt House Republicans set him up to be.

  2. adrastos says:

    If he had any pride, he’d resign as Speaker but we all know he doesn’t have that. A coup could be forthcoming though.

  3. MichaelF says:

    Sigh — I don’t expect Cedric Richmond is a whole lot better than a classic Tory backbencher like Bill Cassidy…but Richmond is on the lesser-of-evils team…and looks to br representing some of my neighbors. The line in one spot is barely a block away.
    As far as Boehner resigning, I suspect they might make him Dennis Hastert redux, a figurehead with no real power. But will Cantor stick around as Majority Leader or does he go down with the ship as well?

  4. pansypoo says:

    he has to cry. we haven’t seen him cry yet.

  5. MichaelF says:

    Oh, and while Boner [sic] is truly deserving, can I suggest a dishonorable mention Malaka for Wayne LaPierre?

  6. Maplestreet says:

    A time of personal reckoning for Boehner?
    Surely the author of the article is trying to make a joke and I’m not getting it.
    My guess? Boehner tried to pull what he has pulled for the last 4 years. Negotiating with Obama on one plan while covertly trying to pass a Plan B which contains all the things he wanted to do beforehand – without any sign of compromise. By the time Obama finds out, it would be too close to the deadline.
    In short, pretending to negotiate and even putting things down on paper. Then, at the last moment, pull out and insist that you never agreed to any such thing.

  7. Lex says:

    Interesting question, inasmuch as my math, which may be flawed, says Cantor doesn’t have the votes either.

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