The Web Site Isn’t Working EVERYBODY PANIC

Has there been anything more pathetic than this week? I ask you:

“People are anxious,” Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL) said following a meeting involving Senate Democratic leaders and White House chief of staff Denis R. McDonough.

“I don’t think there’s confidence by anyone in the room,” admitted Sen. Jeff Merkley (D-OR). “This is more a show-me moment. We were all confident that the system was going to be up and operating on Oct 1. And now we’re not confident until it’s real.”

Sen. Ben Cardin (D-MD) was terse.

“It’s not working well,” he said.

Way to inspire the troops, guys. Way to fucking be. It’s nice that Democrats actually care if the things they’re cheerleading for are really bullshit, as opposed to Republicans who will still tell you the Iraq war was a great idea, but in this particular case I think we’re taking self-examination and responsibility a little far.

The Democratic party somewhat ineptly tried to give people health insurance. For three years teawads screamed that this would bring about the apocalypse and possibly the repeal of the entire Constitution. When health care did come, it was via a slow web site that did not always work as intended. Seeing that the world was not actually in flames, the usual suspects picked up their Zippos and got to work, with Congressional hearings in which they pretended to understand how the Internet worked.

And in response, instead of saying, “Well, look, we could have just lit all that money on fire or started another war to increase the number of dead and legless kids or maybe bailed out another industry that has no hope of succeeding, you backwards-ass tax-cutting xenophobic fuckwads, but no, we tried to actually help people a little bit, so sorry, so very sorry about that” Democrats are now in meetings wringing their hands about how bad a job they did at trying to do a good job. I have never seen a group of people more eager to be ashamed of themselves for the one thing they did halfway down the driveway to all right.

Can someone get a memo to this dillhole?

“Everybody’s upset about the computer; you can’t get on,” Manchin said. “They’ll get through that. They better be worried about having a product at the end and being able to have adjustments to the product that really work.”

EVERYBODY’S UPSET ABOUT THE COMPUTER. I can’t. I can’t take seriously the objections from anyone who can’t differentiate between his laptop and THE WHOLE INTERNET. In a world where grandparents can learn to Skype, there is no excuse for that sentence.

And don’t get me started on insurance companies cancelling people’s shitty, overly expensive plans out of spite at not being able to openly and on the street fuck people with their wallets anymore. How exactly was the president supposed to prevent insurance companies from being the same rapacious, pillaging assholes they’ve always been? You fucknuts didn’t want the industry nationalized the way all the hippies did, and guess fucking what, this is the result. The invisible hand of the free market just punched out all your teeth.

Take a lesson from your Republican “colleagues,” guys. Don’t apologize. Especially when you aren’t all that much wrong. Number of resignations of people you can actually name over the wars of Bush and Cheney: ZERO. When we are handing out Gitmo vacation vouchers for government programs that got righteously upfucked, let us please start with the ones that resulted in A STACK OF COFFINS.

When we’re done with that, we can get back to firing the software engineers. I get that trying isn’t doing, and that outcomes are optics, and that on the whole, this all should have worked because we are not short in this country of people who know how the COMPUTER works. But the very people who are up there coming out of conference rooms with stupid worried Eeyore quotes to make themselves look good should be arguing that while intentions aren’t everything, they’re not nothing, either.

A.

4 thoughts on “The Web Site Isn’t Working EVERYBODY PANIC

  1. MichaelF says:

    I’ve been to the site and you can easily look up plans, rates, etc. Yeah, it’s likely difficult to actually sign up online, but that’s in no small part because they want ot ensure your personal information stays secure (a little ironic given that the NSA probably has all of your info/data. but…).
    The wingnut howling is part of a scorched earth strategy that I really hope/wish will backfire spectacularly…but, given how a similar strategy against Bill Clinton didn’t, I’m not holding out too much hope…

  2. pansypoo says:

    PART D HAD ISSUES AS WELL + I DO NOT REMEMBER THE GNEWZ BEING VERKLEMPT THEN.

  3. Maplestreet says:

    If getting signed up is the problem, all you’ve got to do is call an 800 number and it takes about 20 minutes to sign up.
    In fact, to get around the computer problem, just train a bunch of folks to sign up people (there is already a pool of people trained to help you decide which plan is best for you). Set up a booth and manually sign folks up.

  4. NTodd says:

    Oh, they have the Internet on computers now?

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